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Can post-breakup Facebook surveillance delay emotional recovery?

Mary Ann Liebert Inc | September 19, 2012 | Social networking / 1 comment

 


FacebookMore than 900 million people worldwide are active users of the social networking site Facebook, and it is estimated that as many as one-third report using Facebook to check on the activities of former romantic partners.

The effects of remaining Facebook friends with an ex-lover or even just following their activities online can disrupt a person’s ability to heal emotionally and move on with his or her life, according to an article in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, a peer-reviewed journal published by Mary Ann Liebert Inc., publishers (http://www.liebertpub.com).

The article is available free online on the Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking website.

The study entitled “Facebook Surveillance of Former Romantic Partners: Associations with PostBreakup Recovery and Personal Growth” assessed the effects of continued Facebook contact with an ex-partner and of Facebook surveillance, in which there is no actual online contact, but one individual monitors the Facebook page and postings of another.

The study collected data from 464 participants to evaluate their Facebook usage and their emotional recovery and personal adjustment following the breakup of a romantic relationship. It evaluated parameters such as negative feelings, sexual desire and emotional longing for the ex-partner, and feelings of reduced personal growth as measures of distress and the ability to move forward with their lives.

“This study sees again virtual life mirroring real life. Just as real life contact with ex-partners may inhibit growth, healing, and well-being, so may virtual contact,” says Brenda K. Wiederhold, PhD, MBA, BCIA, Editor-in-Chief of Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, from the Interactive Media Institute, San Diego, CA.

 
 
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1538565203 Jeanine Broderick

    I would like to see a study that considers emotional maturity as an aspect of this situation. I agree that for the emotionally immature this would often be the case. But for the spiritually evolved and emotionally mature individual who understands that love never dies and that the pain one feels is because of attempting to withdraw that love and that joy can be had in the loved one (and former lovers) happiness if a decision “I love you but I am not going to be your partner is accepted” then continued contact can be healthy and even joyful.

    You can test this yourself. If there is someone who you feel pain when you think of them that you once loved, think about them and find that loving feeling again. Emotionally reach out and mentally flow that love toward them — when you do that you do not feel the pain. Only if your thoughts shift to a feeling that involves lack (I still want them/love them but cannot have them, for example, does the pain return.

    It works the same for estranged family members — if you think of them and of a time when you loved them, just that pure thought or thoughts that are of the love, you do not feel the pain. It is only when you attempt to not love them, to hate them, to despise them, to resent them, to feel bitter about something they did, etc. that you feel the pain.

    In reality, they cannot hurt you. It is your own perspective of them that hurts you and you have the ability to consciously choose your perspective. Even someone who “hurt” you tremendously, perhaps a parent who abandoned you or did not provide the protection you deserved, if you think that they were doing the best they could in those moments (even if their best was awful) you will feel better than if you take the position that they deliberately did less than their best possible in the moment by you.

    A change of perspective changes everything.