New research provides evidence that the awareness of physical sensations, willingness to engage with novel stimuli, and ability to general mental imagery all play an important role in having a sexually satisfying relationship. The findings appear in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy.
“I became interested in this topic 5 years ago when I began to learn more about positive psychology,” explained study author Emily Jamea, a certified sex therapist and the clinical director of Revive Therapy.
“Until that point, my work focused on treating relationship issues, sexual dysfunction, and trauma. I often had a client who, despite meeting their primary therapeutic goals, wanted to take their sex life ‘to the next level,’ and I found myself without the skill set to take them there.”
“Beyond the typical ‘tips and tricks’ found in more popular media, I realized there was a gap in the current literature about what constitutes optimal sex. I developed a theory that I presented in workshops. It was so well-received that I decided to initiate a study to collect more scientific evidence.”
In her new study, Jamea surveyed 195 participants who were 25 years of age or older regarding their relationship attachment style, sensuality, imagination, curiosity, and sexual satisfaction. All of the participants had been in a relationship for at least 18 months, did not have children under the age of one, and were not currently pregnant.
The researcher found that sensuality, curiosity and imagination were positively associated with sexual satisfaction among those with secure relationship attachment — but not among those with insecure relationship attachment.
In other words, secure participants who agreed with statements such as “When I’m walking, I deliberately notice the sensations of my body moving”, “My daydreams are often stimulating and rewarding”, and “Everywhere I go, I am out looking for new things or experiences” tended to report being happier with their sexual relationship.
Jamea also divided the participants into two groups: those with above average sexual satisfaction (optimal) and those with below average sexual satisfaction (suboptimal). Among the optimal participants, sensuality and imagination were both associated with sexual satisfaction. Among the suboptimal participants, on the other hand, neither sensuality, imagination, nor curiosity were associated with sexual satisfaction.
“I believe that everybody is capable of experiencing optimal sex. We are born sensual, curious, and imaginative. It is therefore a matter of learning to reconnect with what’s already there as opposed to creating something that doesn’t exist,” Jamea told PsyPost.
The study — like all research — include some caveats. For instance, 81.5% of the participants identified as female.
“A large percentage of my sample identified as female, so it would be interesting to gather more quantitative data on the male perspective. I am initiating a follow up study that will include more open-ended interviews and quantitatively examine other qualities of optimal sex identified by other researchers,” Jamea said.
“I now offer a 6 week online workshop that teaches my model on how to achieve optimal sexual experiences. Anyone who is interested can send an email to emily@revivetherapy.com, and I’ll send the link for the workshop,” she added.
The study was titled: “The role of sensuality, imagination, and curiosity in high and optimal sexual satisfaction“.