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Home Exclusive Relationships and Sexual Health

Romantic partners who get phubbed are more likely to spy on digital communications, study finds

by Eric W. Dolan
September 30, 2022
in Relationships and Sexual Health, Social Media
(Photo credit: Adobe Stock)

(Photo credit: Adobe Stock)

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New research provides evidence that people who have been “phubbed” by their romantic partner are more likely to snoop on their partner’s electronic communications. The findings have been published in Computers in Human Behavior.

Phubbing is the act of snubbing someone in favor of your phone. It’s a new phenomenon, made possible by the ever-present nature of mobile devices. And it’s becoming increasingly common, as more and more people find themselves tethered to their screens. Phubbing can involve ignoring someone who is trying to talk to you, or simply paying more attention to your phone than the person in front of you. Either way, it’s a form of rudeness that can have a real impact on relationships.

“Digital technology are constantly evolving, as are the opportunities and challenges they present for our intimate relationships,” said study author Janneke M. Schokkenbroek (@JMSchokkenbroek), a PhD candidate at Ghent University.

“With the easy accessibility of smartphones and other digital devices, we have the whole world in the palm of our hands, and more and more our lives are taking place online. However, none of us have received a manual on how to navigate all these in-person and online experiences and interactions and foster and maintain healthy relationships at the same time. That is the reason why I started researching the role of digital technology within intimate relationships, and the challenges it may present.”

The researchers asked 346 participants in romantic relationships to indicate how often their partner engaged in phubbing. They also asked the participants to indicate how often they engaged in partner surveillance behaviors, such as reading their partner’s instant messages or emails. They also completed assessments of perceived partner responsiveness and anxiety.

Phubbing was quite common. Approximately 93% of women and 89% of men reported being phubbed by their partner at least once during the past two weeks. Partner surveillance behaviors were less common. Approximately 38% of women and 21% of men admitted to having looked at their partner’s online behaviors at least once in the past two weeks. Surveillance behaviors were more common among participants who were younger, in shorter relationships, and female.

Importantly, Schokkenbroek and her colleagues found that the experience of being phubbed was associated with partner surveillance. Those who reported being phubbed by a romantic partner more frequently tended to surveil their partner’s electronic communications more frequently.

“The findings of our study illustrate that, for some people, the experience of being ignored by their partner because they are looking at their smartphone instead may illicit feelings of doubt about their partner’s commitment to them, which may induce feelings of stress and anxiety,” Schokkenbroek told PsyPost. “To cope with these feelings, some people will snoop into their partner’s online activities (this is also known as ‘electronic partner surveillance’) to gather information on what their partner is doing when they are so busy on their phones.”

“Almost everyone looks at their phone every now and then while they are interacting with their partner, but it is important to realize that this may have a negative impact on our partner and our relationship. We should be conscious of this and make sure our partner still feels validated and heard and does not interpret the phubbing behavior as a disinterest in them or the relationship. For example, it might be a good idea to explain to your partner why you are looking at your phone at that moment, or to include them in the activity.”

The findings held even after controlling for participant sex, age, and relationship length. But the researchers noted that only phubbing only accounted for about 5% of the variance in electronic partner surveillance.

“The model we tested only explained a very small part of the reasons why people engage in electronic partner surveillance,” Schokkenbroek explained. “This means that there are still a lot of other explanations out there as to why people snoop on their partner’s online activities and how their partner’s phubbing behavior plays a role in this.”

“Although our findings provide some very important insights into harmful technology use within our intimate relationships, it is important to realize that it is likely that these findings only apply to a small group of people,” the researcher added. “The extent to which the phubbing behavior is perceived as hurtful differs between people and can depend on the context as well. Not everyone finds it hurtful when their partner pays attention to their phone instead of them, and not everyone will feel the need to look into their partner’s activities because of this.”

“Also, the context in which the phubbing occurs might be important to consider: For example, for most people it is probably less of a problem when their partner is paying attention to their phone instead of them when they are both at home watching TV compared to when they are at a restaurant having dinner together.”

The study, “Phubbed and curious: The relation between partner phubbing and electronic partner surveillance“, was authored by Janneke M. Schokkenbroek, Wim Hardyns, and Koen Ponnet.

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