Individuals who engage in mutual masturbation, which is when partners stimulate themselves sexually while being together, tend to also exhibit higher levels of sexual satisfaction in their romantic relationships, according to new research published in the International Journal of Sexual Health. The findings could help to dispel misconceptions that partners might hold about self-pleasure within relationships.
Common societal perceptions often link masturbation with being alone and single, causing partnered contexts to receive less attention. Prior research has predominantly concentrated on individual solo masturbation, leaving a gap in understanding the significance of mutual masturbation within romantic relationships. The authors of the new study aimed to address this research gap.
“Sexual pleasure is now recognized as an important and essential part of sexual health, well-being and sexual rights, as stated in the World Association for Sexual Health’s Declaration on Sexual Pleasure,” explained study author Dilan Kılıç, a PhD candidate at the University of Southampton.
“Sexual pleasure should not be limited to penetrative sex alone because the well-documented pleasure gender inequality is more common during sexual activities prioritizing vaginal intercourse. Pleasure gender inequality refers to the differences in sexual pleasure that women and men tend to experience in partnered sex. Masturbation is a more reliable route to sexual pleasure and/or orgasm for women. And more specifically in a partnered context, mutual masturbation is a sexual activity that can provide equal opportunities for sexual pleasure and orgasm for both genders.”
“In fact, partner involvement in women’s masturbation was recommended by sex therapists so that women can demonstrate their methods of stimulation to partners to experience orgasm and/or pleasure,” Kılıç explained. “So, mutual masturbation may be a good opportunity to communicate with partners both verbally and non-verbally about pleasure sources.”
“However, partly because of the common beliefs that only ‘single people masturbate’ and ‘it happens alone,’ most studies have focused on the experiences of solo masturbation within an individual context, whereas aspects of masturbation in a partnered context, more specifically, the role of mutual masturbation and its function in the context of romantic relationships remain understudied.”
“Also, while some people believe that women’s partners are intimidated/threatened by women’s solo masturbation and/or vibrator use, and similarly, some men report not masturbating due to partner related reasons (e.g., assuming it would bother the partner), how people feel about mutual masturbation has also been under-studied. Briefly, these are the main reasons why I wanted to explore mutual masturbation.”
The researchers conducted this study as part of a larger research project, which collected data from mixed-sex couples and female same-sex couples. “This article is part of my PhD project on the role of women’s self-pleasure in relationships,” Kılıç said.
Both partners had to be at least 18 years old and in a relationship for at least one year. The partners independently completed an online survey, which included questions about demographics, sexual experiences, feelings about mutual masturbation, sexual satisfaction, and sexual self-esteem.
Initially, the researchers aimed to include both partners from each couple. However, due to some partners not completing the survey, they decided to analyze data from individual participants. The final sample included 117 women and 151 men, who ranged in age from 18 to 65 years.
Kılıç and her colleagues found that a significant portion of participants had engaged in recent mutual masturbation experiences. Around 50% of participants reported engaging mutual masturbation in the past two weeks. Similar proportions of men and women reported engaging in mutual masturbation (48.3% of men and 53.8% of women).
Participants generally had positive feelings about mutual masturbation, with a positive feelings score of 29.58 out of 40 on average. Both men and women who reported recent mutual masturbation had more positive feelings towards it. Negative feelings about mutual masturbation, on the other hand, were generally not strongly endorsed by participants.
Importantly, the study found a positive relationship between recent mutual masturbation and sexual satisfaction. In other words, individuals who reported engaging in mutual masturbation experiences within the past two weeks tended to have higher levels of sexual satisfaction compared to those who did not report engaging in mutual masturbation. This relationship held even after controlling for factors such as solo masturbation recency, age, and illness/ disability.
“One of the key findings of our research was that, for both women and men, recent mutual masturbation was independently associated with higher sexual satisfaction,” Kılıç told PsyPost. “For some, this may not be surprising. However, despite the fact that some people could feel awkward, embarrassed or hesitant to engage in mutual masturbation or to suggest it to a partner, or may think their partner would not want to try, in reality, the experience is frequently reported as being fairly satisfactory. For example, both women and men in our research reported more positive than negative feelings about mutual masturbation.”
Kılıç also outlined two major takeaways from the research.
“Firstly, historically, there is a lack of education about women’s sexuality and sexual pleasure,” she explained. “Mutual masturbation can be an educational tool for both women and their partners about women’s pleasure and anatomy. This can be critical to helping couples develop satisfying and pleasurable sexual and romantic relationships.”
“Secondly, sex is not equal to vaginal penetration and sexuality does not have to follow traditional sexual scripts (that are portrayed in popular media e.g., that only penile-vaginal sex is ‘real sex’). Couples should develop their own definition of sex, including diverse sexual activities to enhance mutual sexual pleasure. Broadening one’s sexual repertoire with mutual masturbation can create diverse sexual opportunities with a partner that may uncover new sources of pleasure.”
The study’s findings provide insight into how mutual masturbation might play a role in enhancing sexual satisfaction within intimate relationships. But it is important to note that this association does not necessarily imply a causal relationship. Other factors could contribute to the higher sexual satisfaction reported by individuals who engaged in recent mutual masturbation.
“Although not a new concept, the positive aspects of mutual masturbation have to date received little research attention,” Kılıç noted. “Generally, very little is known about mutual masturbation and it needs further exploration: how people define mutual masturbation, what motivates them to engage in the behaviour, who initiates it, and what are the first reactions from partners? Do people’s attitudes/feelings and experiences of masturbation differ when they are alone vs. with a partner? What are the associations between types of mutual masturbation (e.g., while one partner self stimulates the other watches vs. both partners masturbate at the same time) and orgasm experience?”
The study, “The Role of Mutual Masturbation within Relationships: Associations with Sexual Satisfaction and Sexual Self-Esteem“, was authored by Dilan Kılıç, Heather L. Armstrong, and Cynthia A. Graham.
