Beliefs about desirability shape racial preferences in dating, according to new psychology research

People’s beliefs about how desirable they are to others appear to shape their own preferences in romantic attraction, according to a new study published in Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology. The research indicates that Asian and Black Americans tend to believe they are more attractive to White Americans than to each other — and those beliefs, in turn, predict stronger attraction to White partners. This dynamic, the authors argue, reflects how social hierarchies and racialized perceptions can quietly shape even intimate aspects of human behavior.

The researchers set out to investigate a longstanding pattern in U.S. interracial relationships. Data from the U.S. Census Bureau show that two pairings — Asian women with White men, and Black men with White women — are the most common types of interracial marriages. Previous research has pointed to factors like racial proximity, gendered stereotypes, and socioeconomic status to explain this, often focusing heavily on the preferences of White Americans.

But the new study took a different approach. Rather than emphasizing only who White people prefer, the authors examined what Asian and Black Americans believe about others’ preferences, and how those beliefs might influence their own romantic interests.

“There were many inspirations for this research topic, but one came from my experience growing up in Hawai’i and talking about my parents,” explained study author Sakaria Laisene Auelua-Toomey, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Hawai’i at Mānoa.

“When people asked about my racial identity, I’d say I was half-Samoan and half-White. They would often follow up by asking if my dad grew up in Hawai’i or moved from Sāmoa. What stood out to me was that people made assumptions about which parent was Samoan and which was White, without me ever saying so. That always stuck with me.”

“As I became more aware about common trends in racial preferences and racial-gender stereotypes, I began to wonder if those beliefs influenced how people interpreted my parents’ identities. This project grew in part from that curiosity to show that people are highly aware of patterns in interracial relationships and racial preferences, and that this awareness actively shapes their assumptions and preferences in everyday life.”

At the core of the research is a simple psychological question: If you believe someone is more likely to desire you, do you become more likely to desire them? The authors argue that this type of belief — called a metaperception, or belief about others’ beliefs — can shape attraction patterns and reinforce racial hierarchies in dating. In the United States, where Whiteness is often associated with power, beauty, and social desirability, the authors suggest that people of color may internalize these associations and come to prefer White partners partly because they believe those partners are more likely to reciprocate interest.

To explore this idea, the researchers conducted three studies involving more than 3,700 heterosexual adults in the United States. All participants identified as either Asian, Black, or White. Each study examined a different aspect of the connection between belief and attraction.

In the first study, the team asked participants to rate how attractive they believed their own racial group was to members of other groups. For example, Asian women were asked how attracted they thought White and Black men were to Asian women. Black men were asked the same about Black men’s perceived attractiveness to Asian and White women.

The results suggested that both Asian and Black Americans believed they were more attractive to White people than to each other. White men, by contrast, tended to believe they were more attractive to Asian women than to Black women, while White women believed they were more attractive to Black men than to Asian men.

The second study measured participants’ own romantic preferences directly. Participants rated their attraction to each racial group and then chose between two hypothetical dating partners from different racial out-groups.

Again, the results followed a pattern. Asian participants tended to prefer White partners over Black partners. Black women were more attracted to White men than to Asian men. White men favored Asian women over Black women, while White women showed a preference for Black men over Asian men.

In most cases, participants’ reported attractions in Study 2 aligned closely with the broader belief patterns observed in Study 1 about how desirable particular ethnicities were perceived to be. The findings suggest that individuals’ own preferences are shaped by their beliefs about how others perceive them. But there were also some mismatches between perceived attraction from others and actual reported attraction.

“While there weren’t any findings that were particularly surprising, one interesting pattern that emerged was that Asian and Black Americans often underestimated how attractive their ingroups were perceived to be by others,” Auelua-Toomey told PsyPost. “For instance, Asian men believed they were less attractive to Black women than Black women actually reported. So while people tend to be fairly accurate in predicting broad trends (such as which racial groups are more likely to prefer each other) they are less accurate when estimating how attractive their own groups are to others.”

The third and final study tested whether changing people’s beliefs about how attractive they are perceived to be could actually influence their romantic preferences. Participants were randomly assigned to read fictitious news articles that claimed, for example, that social scientists had found Asian women were more attractive to Black men than to White men—or vice versa. After reading the articles, participants were asked again to rate their attraction to different racial groups and to choose a dating partner.

The results suggested that shifting participants’ beliefs about who found them attractive tended to shift their own romantic preferences. Asian participants who were told they were more attractive to White people became more attracted to White people and were more likely to choose White partners. When told they were more attractive to Black people, Asian participants’ preference for White partners decreased — though in many cases, it still remained stronger than their preference for Black partners. A similar pattern was observed among Black participants: when told they were more attractive to Asian people, they showed greater interest in Asian partners and were more likely to choose them in hypothetical dating scenarios.

White participants were somewhat less responsive to these manipulations. White men consistently rated Asian women as more attractive than Black women, regardless of what they were told, and White women tended to remain more attracted to Black men than to Asian men. However, the researchers did find some flexibility in their responses, especially among women.

“The key takeaway for the general public is that people are deeply aware of (or at least hold strong beliefs about) patterns in U.S. interracial relationships and racial preferences, and this awareness influences who we find attractive,” Auelua-Toomey explained. “These preferences often reinforce the desirability of White men and White women, while marginalizing Asian men and Black women. Although racial preferences are often framed as personal or idiosyncratic, they are deeply shaped by the environments we live in. In a society structured by racism, our attractions are not immune to its influence and it is important to acknowledge that.”

The researchers emphasize that these findings do not imply that interracial relationships are inherently problematic or insincere. Many interracial couples report high satisfaction and meaningful connections. Rather, the study points to a broader cultural pattern in which beliefs about social status and attractiveness can be shaped by racial hierarchy, and those beliefs may subtly influence whom people pursue romantically.

“This paper is not an attack on interracial relationships, but an effort to raise awareness of how even the most personal aspects of our lives can play a role in maintaining systems of racial advantage,” Auelua-Toomey said.

The study, like all research, has some limitations. The participants were limited to heterosexual individuals who identified as Asian, Black, or White. Preferences and beliefs might look different in other racial or sexual orientation groups. The researchers also measured attraction and dating choices in hypothetical scenarios rather than observing real-world behavior. Further research would be needed to confirm whether similar patterns emerge in actual dating contexts or long-term relationships.

“The main caveat of our project is that we didn’t collect data on actual dating behavior,” Auelua-Toomey noted. “We don’t have behavioral evidence showing whether these beliefs directly influence decisions like asking someone out or swiping right on a person of a particular racial identity.”

Nevertheless, the findings point to a psychological mechanism that may help explain how racial hierarchies are maintained in everyday life — even in contexts often thought to be personal or apolitical, like romantic attraction. By highlighting the influence of beliefs about others’ beliefs, the study suggests that racial preferences in dating are not simply individual choices, but can be shaped by broader cultural narratives and expectations.

The broader aim of this research is to encourage people to think more critically about where their preferences come from. “While everyone has their own criteria when it comes to dating, racial preferences can be particularly harmful because they often dehumanize people,” Auelua-Toomey explained. “And importantly, people are aware that others hold racial preferences about them. Although this isn’t discussed directly in the paper (the data is available on our OSF repository), we also found that people hold beliefs about why certain racial groups are attracted to others. Many of those beliefs are deeply rooted in White supremacist and racist narratives.”

The study, “Romantic Racism: How Racial Preferences (and Beliefs About Racial Preferences) Reinforce Hierarchy in U.S. Interracial Relationships,” was authored by Sakaria Laisene Auelua-Toomey and Steven Othello Roberts.