7 subtle signs you are being love bombed—and how to slow things down before you get hurt

Love and attention from a new romantic partner usually feel wonderful. But what if that whirlwind romance that’s sweeping you off your feet has a darker motive? This is often the case with love bombing – a manipulation tactic where someone showers you with excessive affection, gifts, and praise to gain control or influence. It can be hard to spot because in the moment it just feels like intense romance.

To help you tell genuine love from a sneaky red flag, here are seven subtle signs someone might be love bombing you, and how to recognize them early on. Each sign might seem flattering at first, but together they paint a picture that’s “too good to be true.” Pay attention to your gut feelings as you read – if any of these scenarios sound familiar, it may be time to slow down and take a closer look.

1. The relationship is moving extremely fast

A love bomber often tries to rush the natural pace of a new relationship. For example, they might start talking about commitment or future plans way too soon – calling you their “soulmate” or fantasizing about marriage within the first few dates.

While it can feel flattering to have someone so excited about you, it’s also overwhelming when someone you barely know is pushing for instant intimacy and forever promises. Psychologists note that this “fast-forward” romance is a control tactic: by accelerating emotional closeness, the love bomber hopes to bypass your normal dating boundaries and defenses. Healthy relationships take time to build.

So if your new partner is rushing to “lock things down” almost as soon as you meet, consider it a red flag rather than a fairy tale. Take a step back and set the pace to one that feels comfortable for you. A genuine partner will understand and respect your need to move slowly, whereas a love bomber will likely resist or keep pushing.

2. The compliments never stop – but feel oddly impersonal

Everyone enjoys a sincere compliment, but a love bomber’s flattery can feel like a nonstop sugar rush. They praise you constantly – yet something about their compliments feels generic or over-the-top. You might hear things like, “You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met,” or “You’re perfect; no one else compares to you,” very early on.

These grand statements sound romantic, but notice if they lack specifics. Do they truly know you well enough to say you’re “perfect”? Often, love bombing compliments could apply to anyone; they’re designed to make you feel special quickly, without the person actually understanding you.

As one clinical psychologist points out, excessive praise that doesn’t feel personal is a warning sign – it’s meant to win your trust fast, not celebrate the real you. Ask yourself if the person ever mentions the little things about you: your unique quirks, values, or the things you’ve shared.

Real affection notices the details, while love bombing relies on a flattering “script.” If the compliments feel hollow or make you suspicious, pay attention. It’s okay to enjoy kind words, but keep an eye on whether their words match reality.

3. You feel overwhelmed instead of flattered

In a normal new romance, excitement and butterflies are expected – but you shouldn’t feel anxious or exhausted by affection. With love bombing, the constant attention can start to feel like too much. Maybe they text and call you all day, plan elaborate dates back-to-back, send big bouquets to your work, and expect you to be available 24/7.

At first it’s exciting, but very quickly you might find yourself thinking, “This is all moving so fast – I’m stressed out.” Feeling uneasy, off-balance, or overwhelmed by how someone is treating you is actually a key sign something’s not right.

One minute you’re swooning from the romance, and the next you’re drained trying to keep up with their intensity. Love bombing is meant to overwhelm – it’s like being swept up in a tidal wave of affection that keeps you from finding your footing.

A healthy relationship, in contrast, will leave you feeling secure and calm, not dizzy. So, if your gut is telling you “this is a bit much, a bit too soon,” trust that feeling. Slow things down and take space if you need it.

A caring partner will give you breathing room, whereas a love bomber might guilt you for it (which is another sign, coming up next). Remember: you should be able to enjoy romance, not feel like you’re drowning in it.

4. They mirror everything about you

Does this new person seem almost uncannily perfect for you – like a mirror image of your interests and dreams? Love bombers often mimic your likes, values, and habits to create the illusion that you’ve met your “perfect match.” This manipulation tactic, known as mirroring, might show up as them agreeing with all your opinions, claiming to love all the same hobbies, and even adopting your mannerisms or slang.

For example, you mention in passing that you love hiking, and suddenly they’re an “avid” hiker too; or you tell them your future goal is to live abroad, and now they insist they’ve always wanted the same. According to psychologists, mirroring is used intentionally to get closer to you and convince you of compatibility. Of course, it’s normal for couples to share interests.

The difference here is that a love bomber is studying you and then carefully reflecting back exactly what they think you want to hear. It can feel flattering (“Wow, we have so much in common!”), but if it’s a little too perfect, be cautious.

Try to notice if they ever express their own differing opinions or if they’re just echoing yours. Healthy partners can have individual interests and respectful disagreements. A love bomber, on the other hand, will often hide their true self behind a mask of “me too!” to fast-track your trust. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself: “Who are they when I’m not around?” If you sense that their agreeableness is more performance than authenticity, that’s a red flag.

5. They want you all to themselves (and try to isolate you)

Early on, it might just sound romantic: “I can’t get enough of you – I want you all to myself!” or they joke that they’re “jealous of your friends” because they miss you when you’re apart.

At first, constant togetherness can feel like passionate devotion. But watch out if your new partner increasingly pulls you away from your friends, family, or other activities. Love bombers often isolate their targets under the guise of connection.

What starts as “I just love being with you so much” can shift into subtle criticism of your other relationships: they might question why you spend time with others, get pouty when you go out without them, or insist that “no one understands you like I do.” The Cleveland Clinic notes that cutting you off from your support system is a common tactic in emotionally abusive dynamics.

It might not be outright forbidding you to see people (though that can happen too); often it’s sneaky, like guilt-tripping you about girls’ night, showing up uninvited so you’re never alone with others, or acting moody when you pay attention to someone else. The key here is that over time, your world starts shrinking to just the two of you, on their terms.

If you notice you’re drifting from friends or canceling plans to avoid upsetting your partner, take a hard look at why. True love will expand your life and encourage your other friendships, not require you to abandon them. Don’t let “us against the world” turn into just you left cut off and dependent on the love bomber.

6. They make you feel guilty for needing space

In any healthy relationship, both people should have lives outside the couple – whether it’s work, hobbies, or just alone time to recharge. If every time you try to take a little space, your partner reacts poorly, it’s a big warning sign.

A love bomber will push back on your boundaries: perhaps you tell them you’re busy one weekend or simply need a quiet night to yourself, and they respond with hurt feelings, sulking, or even anger. They might say things like, “I guess I just care about you more than you care about me,” or accuse you of not being as invested. Instead of respecting your “no” or your need for time, they make you feel like you’re doing something wrong.

According to experts, a classic feature of love bombing is that your “no” isn’t accepted – it might be met with guilt trips, arguments, or emotional outbursts. For instance, if you try to slow the relationship down to a pace you’re comfortable with, a love bomber might turn it around on you as a lack of commitment on your part, rather than listening to your concern.

You should never have to apologize for setting healthy boundaries. Feeling afraid to disappoint them or walking on eggshells about saying you need space is not normal this early on (or ever). In contrast, a caring partner will encourage your independence and be fine when you take time for yourself. If someone consistently makes you feel guilty or selfish for living your own life, that’s emotional manipulation. Don’t ignore it.

7. Their affection flips to irritation or criticism without warning

One of the most confusing signs of love bombing is how quickly the warmth can turn cold once they think they “have” you. In the beginning, a love bomber puts you on a pedestal – you can do no wrong and they adore everything about you. B

ut inevitably, nobody can live up to that perfect image forever. The moment you upset them or don’t meet an expectation, suddenly that overflowing affection disappears.

They might become distant, withdraw affection, or start criticizing you harshly for small things. It’s a jarring whiplash: Yesterday you said I was amazing, today you’re annoyed with everything I do.

This rollercoaster of idealization and devaluation is intentional. As one relationship guide describes, at first you’re “everything they’ve ever dreamed of,” but if you assert yourself or disappoint them in any way, the adoration turns cold or critical fast. You may find yourself scrambling to get back in their good graces, blaming yourself for the sudden change.

That’s exactly how the love bomber maintains control – you start chasing the high of their earlier sweetness, trying to “fix” whatever you supposedly did wrong. It’s a form of emotional manipulation that keeps you off-balance. Remember, healthy love doesn’t put you through a dizzying guessing game.

If someone’s treatment of you fluctuates wildly – one day passionate, the next day punishing – recognize this pattern. Consistency and respect are hallmarks of real love. Emotional ups and downs that leave you anxious are a major red flag that should not be ignored. You deserve steady, reliable care, not a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde act.

Spotting and Responding to Love Bombing: The earlier you notice these subtle signs, the better. If you suspect you’re being love bombed, trust your intuition. As experts often advise, if something feels “off” or too overwhelming in a new relationship, pay attention to that feeling. Here are a few steps you can take:

• Pump the brakes: Slow down the relationship tempo. Create a bit of distance and see how they handle it. Taking time apart or delaying big commitments can reveal whether their intentions are respectful or controlling. A genuine partner might be a little disappointed but will understand. A love bomber might panic, pressure you more, or throw a tantrum – which tells you a lot.
• Set clear boundaries: Be upfront about your need for personal space, time with others, or a slower pace. For example, you can say, “I enjoy being with you, but I also need my Sunday afternoons to myself,” or “Let’s hold off on planning a big trip until we’ve known each other longer.” Then watch their reaction. If they respect your boundaries, great – if they get angry or try to make you feel guilty, that’s a sign of trouble. Healthy love will honor your “no.”
• Stay connected to friends and family: Don’t cancel plans or hide what’s going on in your relationship. The people who know and care about you can offer perspective if something doesn’t feel right. If multiple friends express concern that this new romance is overwhelming you, take that seriously. A love bomber wants to isolate you; resisting that by keeping your support network close will make it easier to see any red flags.
• Seek an outside opinion: Sometimes it’s hard to trust your own judgment when you’re caught in a whirlwind. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor if you’re unsure. A mental health professional or a support hotline can help you understand if the behavior you’re experiencing is normal or not. You’re not “crazy” for feeling uneasy – manipulation can be very confusing, so getting an objective take can be grounding.
• Remember you deserve respect: No matter how intoxicating the attention might feel at first, love bombing is not real love. Real love grows over time, respects your independence, and makes you feel safe. You should never feel afraid to set boundaries or worried that love will be “taken away” if you don’t constantly please someone. You have the right to feel comfortable and valued in a relationship. If the red flags pile up, it may be best to step back or end things before deeper harm is done.

When someone is love bombing you, the warning signs can be easy to miss because they often masquerade as romance. But love shouldn’t leave you feeling anxious, guilty, or isolated. Trust yourself.

If you notice these subtle signs early on – the whirlwind pace, the overdone flattery, the nagging discomfort in your gut – take them seriously. It’s okay to slow down or walk away from a relationship that doesn’t feel healthy.

Real love will wait and will respect you; manipulation won’t. By spotting love bombing patterns early, you can protect your heart and ensure that any love you embrace is genuine, mutual, and built on solid ground.

References

• Cleveland Clinic – What Is Love Bombing? 7 Signs To Look For (June 12, 2025)
• Psychology Today – Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D., 10 Ways to Identify a Love Bomber (April 17, 2024)
• Calm Blog – What is love bombing? Plus, 7 signs it’s happening to you (Jun 12, 2025)
• Verywell Mind – Barbara Field, The Dangers of Love Bombing (May 02, 2024)