A study of heterosexual couples found that men avoid talking about problematic pornography use more than they avoid talking about the division of chores or alcohol use. This tendency was absent in women – they were equally likely to avoid talking about pornography as they were to avoid other topics that could cause conflict. The paper was published in Psychology & Sexuality.
Pornography refers to various sexually explicit materials, including videos, images, or texts, created to sexually arouse viewers or readers. These materials are considered taboo in many cultures because their explicit nature challenges social norms regarding sexuality and morality. Concerns about pornography also stem from its potential effects on issues such as objectification, exploitation, and the impact on relationships and values.
Despite these taboos, pornography is widely used worldwide, especially among men. A 2020 survey in the U.S. found that 94% of men and 87% of women had viewed pornography at least once in their lives. On average, the age of first exposure to pornography was 14 years for men and 18 years for women. Studies also indicate that men tend to use pornography more when their sexual satisfaction is lower and declining. In contrast, women’s use of pornography is not associated with their or their partner’s sexual satisfaction.
Study author Uzma S. Rehman and her colleagues wanted to investigate how much partners communicate about pornography use or how much they avoid communication about this topic. They wanted to understand where communication about pornography stands compared to communication about other topics that might lead to conflict between romantic partners. To address this, they conducted two studies.
The goal of the first study was to develop a way to assess topic avoidance. The researchers searched the literature to compile a list of topics frequently avoided by romantic partners. They asked 94 Amazon MTurk workers to rate the breadth of each of these topics. Based on their responses and the initial list of topics, they created the Topic Avoidance Questionnaire, which included 8 topics couples frequently avoid discussing. Pornography use was one of these topics.
The goal of the second study was to investigate how much couples avoid talking about pornography compared to the other seven topics couples tend to avoid. They predicted that men, but not women, would tend to avoid discussions of pornography more than other topics.
Study participants included 191 individuals in committed relationships recruited through Amazon’s MTurk. Participants’ average age was 35 years, and they had been with their partners for an average of 9 years. Participants completed assessments of relationship satisfaction (the Quality of Marriage Index), sexual satisfaction (the Global Measure of Sexual Satisfaction), pornography use (“How much pornography do you currently consume?”), and the Topic Avoidance Questionnaire (developed in study 1).
Results showed that participants who avoided communicating about pornography also tended to avoid communication about other topics. Their overall communication quality with their partner tended to be lower. Men avoided talking about pornography more than they avoided discussing how to engage in sexual activity, how much time to spend with family, how much money to save, division of chores, and alcohol use. However, they did not avoid talking about pornography more than they avoided discussing how much money to spend or their partner’s tone of voice. Women did not avoid talking about pornography more than they avoided other topics.
Men who were less satisfied with their sexual relationship tended to avoid talking about pornography more strongly. This association was not present in women.
“The current study demonstrated the critical role of topic avoidance when examining the interrelationship between pornography use, gender, and sexual satisfaction. Findings highlight that both men and women tend to avoid the topic of pornography, though this was particularly true for men. For men, the association between pornography topic avoidance and sexual satisfaction remained significant, even after accounting for pornography use and an overall tendency to avoid potentially conflictual topics.”, study authors concluded.
The study sheds light on communication about pornography among couples. However, it should be noted that all the study participants were MTurk workers, a group that might not be representative of the U.S. general population. Additionally, the study was based on self-reports, leaving room for reporting bias to affect the results.
The paper, ““Let’s not talk about it”: examining the interpersonal context of pornography use by investigating patterns of communicative avoidance,” was authored by Uzma S. Rehman, David A. Herman, Chantal Gautreaua, and Jessica Edwards.