Most bereaved people dream of or sense the deceased, study finds — and the two may be linked

A new study published in the journal Dreaming finds that the majority of bereaved individuals—whether grieving the death of a romantic partner or a pet—report vivid dreams or waking experiences involving the deceased. The research suggests these occurrences are more common than often assumed and may play a meaningful role in the grief process. Those who dream of the deceased are also more likely to report experiencing their presence while awake.

For years, researchers have examined the role of dreams in bereavement, as well as so-called “continuing bonds”—the ways in which people maintain a connection with lost loved ones. Many dying individuals also report comforting visions or dreams of deceased family members. Yet, few studies have explored the overlap between these sleep and waking experiences among the bereaved. The new study seeks to bridge that gap by exploring both types of experiences and examining how they may be related.

The authors conducted a post hoc analysis of previously unexamined data from two earlier studies. The first study involved 268 adults in the United States who had lost a romantic partner or spouse within the past two years. The second study included 199 participants who had lost a dog or cat in the prior six months. In addition to asking about dreams of the deceased, researchers had also included questions about waking experiences—such as seeing, hearing, or feeling the presence or touch of the deceased. These items had not been analyzed in earlier reports.

Participants in both studies were recruited through Mechanical Turk, a crowdsourcing platform frequently used in psychological research. Previous studies have found that data gathered from Mechanical Turk samples is comparable in quality to other non-randomized survey methods. In both samples, participants completed multiple standardized questionnaires, including the Continuing Bonds Scale, which measures the extent to which a person feels a continued presence of the deceased in their life, and a dream questionnaire that asked about recent experiences involving the deceased.

To assess waking experiences, participants were asked whether in the past month they had seen the deceased standing before them, heard the deceased’s voice, or felt their physical touch. Participants rated the frequency of each experience on a five-point scale. For analysis, any response indicating the event occurred at least once was coded as a positive occurrence.

The results showed that 73.5% of participants who had lost a romantic partner and 59.3% who had lost a pet reported dreaming of the deceased in the past month. Waking experiences were also common. Among those grieving a partner, 50.7% said they had at least one waking experience of the deceased in the same timeframe—whether seeing, hearing, or feeling them. In the pet loss group, 32.2% reported such experiences. When both dreaming and waking experiences were combined, the proportions rose to 82.5% in the partner loss group and 68.3% in the pet loss group.

Importantly, the researchers found a statistically significant relationship between dreaming of the deceased and experiencing their presence while awake. Among those who had dreamed of a deceased partner, 56.1% also reported a waking experience, compared to 36.2% of those who had not dreamed. In the pet loss group, 39% of those who dreamed of the deceased also had waking experiences, compared to just 22.5% of those who had not dreamed. This suggests that the two types of experiences may be related, possibly reflecting a more general openness to experiencing ongoing connections with the deceased.

These findings build on a growing body of research that has explored dreams of the deceased and so-called “externalized continuing bonds.” Past studies have found that such dreams are often comforting, and in most cases the deceased appear healthy and happy. For many people, these dreams serve a therapeutic role—providing a chance to say goodbye, feel a sense of closure, or reconnect with positive memories.

The idea that waking experiences of the deceased are pathological or signs of unresolved grief has also been challenged by recent work. While some studies have linked these experiences to avoidant attachment or trauma symptoms, others suggest they may support emotional regulation and healing, especially when the experiences are felt as comforting rather than distressing.

Still, this line of research is in its early stages, and there are important limitations. The study relied on retrospective self-reports, which can be influenced by memory biases or interpretation differences. Participants may have varying understandings of what it means to “see” or “hear” the deceased, making it difficult to draw firm conclusions about the nature of these experiences. Additionally, the sample was not representative of the general population, which may limit the generalizability of the findings.

The researchers emphasize that more investigation is needed to understand the causes and consequences of these phenomena. It remains unclear why some people have positive experiences while others do not, or whether these experiences help or hinder the process of adjusting to loss over time. Future studies may benefit from using longitudinal designs and more objective measures, such as dream diaries, to better understand when and why these experiences occur.

Despite the limitations, the findings have potential clinical value. Bereaved individuals often worry that dreaming of or sensing a deceased loved one means something is wrong. Clinicians and support providers may be able to reassure people that such experiences are common and not necessarily signs of mental health issues. Raising awareness about the frequency and emotional tone of these experiences could help reduce unnecessary distress and encourage open conversations about grief.

The study, “The Bereavement Experience: Dreams and Waking Experiences of the Deceased,” was authored by Joshua Black, Kathryn Belicki, and Jessica Ralph.