New research upends long-held beliefs about romantic love and sexual frequency

A recent study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that traits commonly associated with romantic love, such as obsessive thoughts about one’s partner and intense feelings, do not significantly influence how often young adults have sex. The researchers challenge the long-held belief that romantic love naturally leads to increased sexual activity.

Previous research has suggested that the intense emotional connection and passion of early-stage romantic relationships fuel sexual desire. While it’s well-documented that sexual frequency typically declines as relationships progress and passion fades, less is known about what factors might influence sexual desire during the initial phases of romantic love.

Led by Adam Bode from the Australian National University, the research team sought to understand what drives sexual frequency in individuals experiencing new romantic love. They hypothesized that shorter relationship duration, greater intensity of romantic love, lower commitment, and more hypomanic-like features (i.e., feeling overly energetic or enthusiastic) would be associated with higher sexual frequency.

To test these hypotheses, the researchers surveyed 720 sexually active young adults aged 18 to 25 from 33 countries, all of whom self-reported experiencing romantic love.

Participants provided information on their relationship duration, the intensity of their romantic love, how often they thought about their partner, their level of commitment, and any hypomanic-like features they experienced.

The researchers then used statistical models to identify connections in the data, controlling for variables known to influence sexual frequency, such as age, sexual orientation, and health status.

Surprisingly, the study found no significant associations between romantic love traits and sexual frequency. The entire model, which included 14 variables, explained only 4.06% of the variation in sexual frequency. This suggests that other factors not captured in the study may play a larger role in determining sexual frequency among young adults.

However, some known covariates did predict sexual frequency. For example, older participants reported having sex more frequently, which contradicts some previous research. The researchers speculate this might be due to younger participants having less privacy or fewer opportunities for sexual activity. Additionally, homosexual participants reported lower sexual frequency, which may be influenced by social factors or differences in sexual behavior patterns.

The study’s findings underscore the complexity of sexual behavior and suggest that romantic love alone is not a strong predictor of sexual frequency.

As Bode and colleagues noted, “Given that none of our variables of interest were associated with frequency of sex per week, the question remains, which factors are responsible for variation in sexual activity? The most obvious point to make is that sex involves two parties, and therefore evaluating predictors of sexual activity in only one person leaves half of the equation untested. The sex drive of one member of a romantic relationship may be a primary contributor to variation in frequency of sexual activity.”

The study does have some limitations. The sample was limited to young adults who had been in love for less than two years, which may not represent the full spectrum of romantic relationships. Additionally, the definition of “sex” was left to participants’ interpretation, potentially introducing variability in responses. The sample was also relatively homogeneous, consisting mostly of individuals from democratic, wealthy nations.

The study, “Romantic Love and Sexual Frequency: Challenging Beliefs,” was authored by Adam Bode, Marta Kowal, Fabio Cannas Aghedu, and Phillip S. Kavanagh.