Shared reality in romantic relationships reduces uncertainty and boosts meaning in life, study finds

A recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology highlights the role that shared reality with romantic partners plays in reducing uncertainty and enhancing a sense of meaning in life. The research reveals that when couples share a mutual understanding of their experiences, it not only strengthens their bond but also helps individuals make sense of the world around them, providing clarity and purpose.

Past research has extensively explored how individuals derive meaning through personal goals, achievements, and values, but there has been less focus on the interpersonal pathways that contribute to this process. Romantic relationships, often regarded as a key source of meaning, have traditionally been studied for their emotional and relational benefits, such as fostering feelings of belonging, love, and support.

The new research sought to investigate an understudied aspect of relationships: their epistemic function. In other words, it examined how romantic partners co-construct a shared understanding of the world, known as shared reality, and how this process helps individuals reduce uncertainty and experience greater meaning in life.

“I’ve always believed that one of the core purposes of our relationships is to help us make sense of the world. This became evident to me when I left for university—my new experiences and perspectives began to create a gap between me and my friends back home, as they could no longer help me understand the new aspects of my university life. This personal realization sparked my academic curiosity about shared experiences and eventually led me to the study of shared reality,” explained study author M. Catalina Enestrom, a postdoctoral researcher at IESE Business School.

The research team conducted five separate studies using diverse methodologies, including cross-sectional surveys, longitudinal data collection, and experimental manipulations, to investigate the connection between shared reality, uncertainty, and meaning in life.

Study 1 was conducted to examine the relationship between shared reality and meaning in life within romantic couples. Enestrom and her colleagues recruited 103 romantic couples to participate in a laboratory study. Each couple engaged in a discussion where one partner shared their fears while the other partner responded naturally. The researchers measured participants’ self-reported shared reality and meaning in life using established scales and assessed shared reality behaviors, such as expressing agreement or finishing each other’s sentences, through behavioral coding of the interaction.

The findings revealed that couples who perceived a higher shared reality with their partner also reported greater meaning in life. This effect was evident even after controlling for relationship satisfaction, suggesting that shared reality offers benefits beyond general positivity about the relationship. Additionally, observable shared reality behaviors predicted self-reported shared reality and meaning in life.

Study 2 focused on the experiences of Black Americans following the murder of George Floyd. The researchers recruited 190 participants in romantic relationships, including both intraracial and interracial couples, and asked them to reflect on their shared reality with their partner regarding issues of racism and the sociopolitical climate. Participants completed measures of shared reality, uncertainty, and meaning in life.

The findings showed that greater shared reality with a partner was associated with reduced uncertainty about racism and the broader sociopolitical environment, which in turn predicted a stronger sense of meaning in life. These results held even when controlling for relationship satisfaction, further emphasizing the unique role of shared reality in reducing uncertainty and enhancing meaning.

“My earlier interests were focused on how partners’ different life experiences might inhibit shared reality,” Enestrom told PsyPost. “For this reason, I collected a sample of Black Americans in romantic relationships with either other Black Americans or White Americans, hypothesizing that differences in experiences with racism and the broader sociopolitical climate—especially given the timing shortly after the murder of George Floyd—might affect their shared reality. To my surprise and delight, there were no differences in shared reality between intraracial and interracial couples. These findings suggest that even when partners come from different backgrounds, they can successfully create a shared understanding of the world together.”

Study 3 examined how shared reality with a romantic partner influenced meaning in a specific domain: work. The researchers recruited 155 frontline healthcare workers during the early stages of the COVID-19 pandemic, a time of significant uncertainty and stress. Participants completed surveys at two time points, six months apart, assessing shared reality with their partner, uncertainty about their work environment, and work-related meaning.

The findings revealed that shared reality at the onset of the pandemic predicted decreases in work-related uncertainty over time, which in turn was associated with greater meaning in work. These results suggest that even in highly stressful and uncertain work conditions, shared reality with a partner can provide clarity and purpose. Importantly, the effects of shared reality on uncertainty and meaning were independent of relationship satisfaction.

Study 4 used an experimental design to provide causal evidence for the relationship between shared reality, uncertainty, and meaning in life. Participants, who were in romantic relationships, were randomly assigned to recall either a high shared reality experience (e.g., feeling “on the same page” with their partner) or a low shared reality experience (e.g., feeling disconnected from their partner’s perspective). After the recall task, participants reported their levels of uncertainty about the recalled experience and their sense of meaning in life.

The results showed that recalling a high shared reality experience reduced uncertainty about the target of the experience, which in turn increased meaning in life. These effects were not explained by participants’ positive mood, conflict in the recalled experience, or relationship satisfaction, further supporting the robustness of the findings. However, there was no direct effect of the shared reality manipulation on meaning in life, suggesting that the relationship operates primarily through reducing uncertainty.

Study 5 adopted a novel experimental approach to explore shared reality as a couple-level construct. Participants read a vignette describing a hypothetical couple discussing a book. In one condition, the couple exhibited high shared reality behaviors, such as finishing each other’s sentences and expressing agreement about the book, while in the other condition, the couple disagreed about the book’s interpretation, demonstrating low shared reality.

Importantly, the couple’s relationship satisfaction was described as consistently high across both conditions to control for its influence. Participants then rated the couple’s uncertainty about the book and their sense of meaning during the discussion.

The findings mirrored those of Study 4: participants perceived the high shared reality couple as experiencing less uncertainty and greater meaning during the interaction. These results further confirmed that shared reality reduces uncertainty, which in turn fosters meaning, and highlighted that these effects are not merely a byproduct of relationship satisfaction.

“We invest significant time and energy in our relationships, and this research shows why that effort matters,” Enestrom said. “Close relationships, especially with romantic partners, help us make sense of the world and provide a sense of purpose. Building and nurturing these connections is key to navigating uncertainty and creating meaning in our lives.”

Future research could explore potential boundary conditions for these effects. For example, are there situations where a lack of shared reality might be beneficial? Additionally, the researchers are interested in examining how shared reality varies across different types of relationships and cultural contexts.

“My long-term goal is to explore how shared reality helps people reduce uncertainty and find meaning across different types of relationships and contexts,” Enestrom said. “I’m particularly interested in whether shared reality’s epistemic function—its ability to reduce uncertainty—might sometimes have drawbacks, such as in workplace settings where differing perspectives could fuel creativity. I also want to examine how shared reality varies across relationships (e.g., romantic, familial, or professional) and how factors like epistemic trust influence its outcomes. This could ultimately inform interventions to foster shared reality where it’s most beneficial.”

The study, “Meaning-making with romantic partners: Shared reality promotes meaning in life by reducing uncertainty,” was authored by M. Catalina Enestrom, Maya Rossignac-Milon, Amanda L. Forest, and John E. Lydon.