An online psychological intervention that includes some relatively simple exercises could help to increase closeness between couples amid the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, according to new research published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being.
“We were interested in this topic because at the beginning of this pandemic, it seemed there were daily news articles about how couples quarantined together were fighting more, families were falling apart, and in general really having a hard time being in close quarters. As experts in interpersonal connection, we thought our tools could help,” explained study author Mavis Tsai, a senior research scientist at the University of Washington and executive director of the Awareness, Courage & Love Global Project.
The researchers recruited 31 couples via social media posts and randomly assigned them to either an intervention or control group. Couples in both groups attended a two-hour Zoom session.
Couples in the intervention group completed relationship exercises designed to promote communication and connection. Couples in the control group, on the other hand, watched the movie “Once” together and then jointly answered questions about the film.
To assess changes in relationship functioning, the participants completed psychological surveys before and after the Zoom session, and at 1-week follow-up.
“Tempting as it is, getting through the pandemic together by watching TV may actually be less connecting than a simple alternative. In this study, couples quarantined together during COVID-19 spent two hours either watching and discussing a romantic comedy, or talking vulnerably about their feelings,” Tsai told PsyPost.
“Those assigned to talk to each other about vulnerable feelings responded to prompts like ‘What do you need your partner to understand about your current struggles?’ and ‘What would you say to your partner if you expected never to see them again?’ People who did this felt significantly more connected to each other than those who watched a movie together.”
Feelings of closeness increased by 23% among couples who completed the relationship exercises, compared to a 2% increase among couples who watched a movie together.
“Although it’s well established that self-disclosure in couples promotes more closeness, the problem is that most people can’t or don’t do it. What’s new here is that we’ve developed simple and powerful tools to help couples actually connect quickly and reliably, and we’ve shown that these work in the present pandemic context,” Tsai explained.
“The tools include: eye contact video and exercise, brief guided meditation, evocative contemplation questions, modeling by the leaders on how to disclose vulnerably and listen responsively, and how to get to the heart of what truly matters.”
As one participant told the researchers: “I think we have a hard time having conversations about heavy topics for fear of upsetting each other. This felt like a safe exercise to start these important conversations.”
But the study includes some caveats. Ratings of marital quality in the intervention group improved more than in the control group during the intervention itself — but there was no difference between the groups one week later.
“We still need to learn more about the long-term effects. Our research showed that doing these closeness-generating exercises creates greater connection in the moment and at one-week follow-up, but we don’t know how long the impact of this one session intervention will last, and how many booster sessions will be needed for couples to maintain connection over a longer period of time, like months or years,” Tsai said.
“This study assessed methods developed by the ACL (Awareness, Courage & Love) Global Project, a nonprofit organization that trains volunteers to lead chapters in six continents. ACL Global Project’s mission is to create a worldwide network of open-hearted change seekers who strive to meet life’s challenges through deepening interpersonal connection and rising to live more true to ourselves,” she added.
The study, “Helping Couples Connect during the COVID-19 Pandemic: A Pilot Randomised Controlled Trial of an Awareness, Courage, and Love Intervention“, was authored by Mavis Tsai, Emerson Hardebeck, Fabiana Pinheiro Ramos, Hannah Turlove, Kaisa Nordal‐Jonsson, Akoly Vongdala, Wen Zhang, and Robert J. Kohlenberg.
