![[Adobe Stock]](https://sp-ao.shortpixel.ai/client/to_webp,q_glossy,ret_img,w_750,h_375/https://www.psypost.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/black-woman-tired-of-cleaning-750x375.jpg)
A new study published in the Psychology of Women Quarterly explores how the division of household labor and decision-making power influences relationship satisfaction for women. The findings indicate that mothers in relationships with men tend to bear a heavier burden of domestic work compared to women in same-gender relationships or women without children. The research suggests that while having a voice in decision-making generally supports relationship quality, this positive link disappears for mothers partnered with men.
Domestic labor remains unevenly distributed in the United States. Women in relationships with men typically handle the majority of unpaid household tasks like cooking and cleaning. This imbalance often persists even when both partners work full-time jobs. Previous observations show that this inequality can lead to lower relationship satisfaction and increased stress for women.
The concept of “doing gender” proposes that people reinforce their gender identities through daily behaviors. This includes women performing domestic duties traditionally associated with femininity. Romantic partners may unconsciously act out these gender scripts by dividing labor based on what society suggests a man or woman ought to do.
Same-gender couples often navigate these dynamics differently. Evidence suggests they tend to share household tasks more equally. They often base these decisions on personal preference or availability rather than traditional gender roles. These couples may negotiate duties in ways that transcend heteronormative scripts.
The researchers aimed to understand how these dynamics play out when comparing women partnered with men against women partnered with women. They specifically sought to determine how becoming a parent influences these patterns.
“Funnily enough, I came to study this topic after watching the queer and heterosexual versions of the reality TV dating show The Ultimatum! I was really interested in better understanding how couples make decisions about who does what in the household and how this is impacted by heteronormative social norms of what women and men ‘ought’ to do,” said study author Nina Dours, a PhD student at Florida International University.
“I find that reality TV is a great example of the unspoken ways in which gendered norms permeate our everyday lives. I thought it was particularly interesting that even in same-gender couples, these traditional scripts sometimes influence who does what, but often with different results than in heterosexual couples. So this study aimed to center women’s experiences in relationships using a queer lens to better understand how the gender of each partner creates different situations for negotiating the division of labor in one’s romantic relationship.”
To investigate this, the research team recruited 227 women through an online platform called Prolific. The participants were all in long-term romantic relationships and lived with their partners. The sample included 102 women partnered with women and 125 women partnered with men. About half of the participants were parents.
The participants provided demographic information regarding their age, race, income, and employment status. Most of the sample identified as white. The majority of the participants were married. The average relationship length was approximately 12 years.
To measure relationship satisfaction, participants completed a survey asking about the degree of happiness in their partnership. Another measure assessed the division of household labor. Participants rated who usually performed five specific tasks. These tasks included grocery shopping, cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking, and washing dishes. Scores indicated whether the participant, the partner, or both equally performed these tasks.
The researchers also measured decision-making power. They used a specific subscale from the Sexual Relationship Power scale. Participants indicated who usually had more say in various situations. These situations included decisions such as choosing friends to go out with or deciding when to discuss serious topics.
The analysis showed clear differences based on the partner’s gender. Women partnered with men reported doing more unpaid household labor than women partnered with women. This finding aligns with previous research regarding gender roles in different-gender relationships.
However, the most pronounced imbalance appeared when considering parental status. Mothers partnered with men reported a higher household labor burden than any other group in the study. This group performed more work than mothers partnered with women, childless women partnered with men, and childless women partnered with women.
Across the entire sample, performing a greater share of household labor was associated with lower relationship satisfaction. When women felt they were doing the majority of the chores, they tended to report being less happy in their relationships. This negative link existed regardless of the partner’s gender.
The researchers also observed unexpected patterns regarding decision-making power. Contrary to their initial hypothesis, they found that women partnered with men reported slightly higher decision-making power than women partnered with women. The researchers speculate this might occur if women in different-gender relationships act as default household managers.
A complex pattern emerged regarding how decision-making power relates to satisfaction. For women without children, having more decision-making power was linked to higher relationship satisfaction. This positive association held true whether they were partnered with a man or a woman.
Parenthood appeared to change this dynamic specifically for different-gender couples. For mothers partnered with women, having decision-making power continued to predict greater relationship satisfaction. In contrast, for mothers partnered with men, there was no significant relationship between decision-making power and satisfaction. For this specific group, having a say in decisions did not appear to boost their relationship happiness.
The authors offer potential explanations for this discrepancy. Mothers partnered with men may experience a high degree of cognitive load. This load includes the mental effort of planning, organizing, and anticipating the needs of the household and children.
If these women are already managing the bulk of childcare and household duties, having “power” over decisions might feel like an additional burden rather than a privilege. This is often referred to as the mental load. Consequently, the ability to make decisions may not contribute to their satisfaction because it simply represents more work.
In contrast, mothers in same-gender relationships may share this mental load more equitably. Because they are less constrained by traditional gender roles, they may view decision-making as a form of agency rather than an obligation. This allows the positive effects of having a voice in the relationship to shine through.
“I think the main takeaway of our findings is that having a say about who does what around the house is important to relationship health, especially when children are in the picture,” Dours told PsyPost. “I would encourage romantic partners to discuss household labor together and re-assess how these tasks have been divided in the past: was it based on gendered expectations or on what each partner can bring based on skills and time availability?”
As with all research, there are some limitations. The data was collected at a single point in time. This design prevents researchers from determining cause-and-effect relationships between the variables. It is possible that relationship dissatisfaction leads to different perceptions of labor rather than the other way around.
The sample was also composed largely of white participants from the United States. This lack of diversity means the findings may not apply to other cultural or racial groups. Cultural values regarding family and gender roles vary across different communities.
Future research could benefit from following couples over time to see how these dynamics evolve. The researchers suggest that future studies should examine how specific beliefs about masculinity and femininity influence these behaviors. It would be beneficial to investigate how the age of the children impacts the intensity of household demands.
The researchers also emphasize that household labor is not just about physical chores. It also involves the invisible weight of management and decision-making. Addressing these invisible imbalances is important for understanding relationship quality.
“I think it’s easy for these findings to be interpreted as doing a lot of household labor unequivocally means that you’re going to be unhappy, but that’s not necessarily the case!” Dours said. “This study and the body of literature on household labor, particularly among same-gender couples, show us that what matters is to have decision-making power over the tasks you do at home. It’s important to question why one partner does more than the other and ensure that couples don’t just default to roles based on gendered traditional expectations.”
The study, “Gender, Power, and Parenthood: Predictors of Relationship Satisfaction Among Women Partnered With Women vs. Men,” was authored by Nina Dours and Asia A. Eaton.
