Sexual disagreements in relationships are more strongly associated with women considering ending their relationships than men, according to a new study published in the Journal of Sex Research. This finding, emerging from an analysis of thousands of participants, challenges traditional notions about the impact of sexual harmony on relationship stability.
The study was spurred by a gap in existing research, which primarily focused on the link between sexual satisfaction and relationship stability but seldom delved into how sexual disagreements might lead to instability. Surprisingly, despite the common occurrence of sexual conflicts and their association with reduced relationship satisfaction, this aspect has received little attention.
“Based on traditional gender ideologies, we would expect that sexual disagreements are associated with relationship instability more strongly among men than among women,” said study author Dominika Perdoch Sladká, a researcher and a PhD student at the Department of Sociology at Masaryk University.
“Some previous studies found that men judge their relationship quality by the quality of their sexual life more often than women. We were interested in testing if the gendered relationship between sexual disagreements and union instability found in earlier studies from the United States still exists in the 21st century and in other than U.S. contexts. We focused on seven European countries, and we were using data from the Generations and Gender Survey, a cross-nationally harmonized panel survey. Our study included both married and cohabiting partners.”
The initial data collection phase for the Generations and Gender Survey began between 2004 and 2009 in the countries included in this study. The second wave of data collection occurred between 2007 and 2013, following up on the first wave. The sample for the current study included 19,446 participants (age range 18–79) from Austria, Bulgaria, Georgia, Germany, France, Lithuania, and Russia.
The key measure of the study, separation proneness, was assessed by asking participants if they had contemplated breaking up with their partner in the past year. Additionally, the frequency of sexual disagreements was measured through a question about how often they had argued about sex in the last twelve months. The frequency of these disagreements was measured using a scale ranging from ‘never’ to ‘very frequently.’
Individuals who reported frequent sexual disagreements were found to be significantly more likely to consider ending their relationships. This effect was particularly pronounced among women. In comparison to those who never had such disagreements, women who frequently experienced sexual disagreements were 13.1 percentage points more likely to consider separation. In contrast, men with frequent sexual disagreements showed only a 5 percentage point increase in separation proneness compared to those with no disagreements.
The researchers also found that, at every level of sexual disagreement, women were more inclined towards separation proneness than men. This difference was most stark among those with frequent disagreements, underscoring a notable gender disparity.
“If a couple often experiences sexual disagreements, the partners are more likely to think about breaking up,” Sladká told PsyPost. “This relationship between disagreements and separation proneness is, surprisingly, stronger among women than men. Even if the couple has no disagreements in other areas, such as money, family relations, or raising children, discrepancies in the sexual area can contribute to separation proneness.”
“However, we found that the separation proneness is reversible – people who were thinking about breaking up with their partner before the first interview often did not report considering separation at the second interview, approximately three years later.”
The researchers controlled for other types of disagreements in relationships, as well as factors like age, education, type of partnership, and country of residence. But the study, like all research, includes some caveats.
The complex nature of concepts like separation proneness and sexual disagreements is challenging to capture fully with single questionnaire items. Additionally, the study’s findings are based on self-reported data, which may not always capture the full spectrum of a relationship’s dynamics.
Future research could expand on these findings by measuring both partners’ perspectives in a relationship, exploring how they handle conflicts, and examining the dynamics in different social and demographic groups. Additionally, the role of communication styles in mediating the impact of sexual disagreements on relationship stability is an area ripe for further exploration.
“Our study focused on disagreements, but we were not able to include any measures of how couples deal with their conflicts,” Sladká said. “Couples’ communication style might play a role in the negative effects of disagreements on the relationship. It would also be interesting to see how sexual disagreements are associated with relationship instability in same-sex couples.”
The study, “The Link Between Sexual Disagreements and Separation Proneness: Differences Between Men and Women in a Culturally Diverse Sample,” was authored by Dominika Perdoch Sladká and Martin Kreidl.