Women who fake orgasm tend to struggle with emotional clarity and impulse control, study finds

A new study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health sheds light on the psychological reasons why women fake orgasms. The findings suggest that faking orgasm is not simply about performance, but often reflects emotional and relational dynamics. Women who struggle to manage or understand their emotions, or who engage in sex for coping reasons, are more likely to simulate sexual climax.

While previous studies had linked orgasm faking to social pressures or relationship concerns, little was known about how internal emotional patterns and coping motives contribute to the behavior. The researchers behind the new study sought to examine these psychological factors across two specific sexual contexts: vaginal intercourse and oral sex.

“We were struck by how little attention the topic of faking orgasm had received in relation to emotion regulation,” said study author Norbert Meskó, a full professor at the University of Pécs. “Outside of a single doctoral dissertation, no prior studies had systematically examined this link, despite the intuitive psychological relevance.”

“Faking orgasm often occurs in emotionally complex relational situations, where women may struggle to express dissatisfaction, fear appearing abnormal, or wish to preserve their partner’s self-esteem. These ‘benevolent deceptions’ seemed closely tied to emotional maturity and regulation—so we set out to explore whether this everyday psychological intuition could be supported by empirical evidence.”

To do this, the researchers surveyed 425 Hungarian women aged 18 to 80. Participants completed a series of self-report questionnaires that assessed six types of emotional regulation difficulties and three types of sexual motivation. They also answered detailed questions about their reasons for faking orgasm in each context. The researchers used both network analysis and multiple regression models to analyze how these psychological factors were linked to the tendency to fake orgasm.

The results showed that emotional difficulties—especially struggling to accept emotions, problems with impulse control, and confusion about one’s feelings—were tied to faking orgasm. Women who reported these difficulties were more likely to say they had faked an orgasm, particularly during vaginal intercourse. Coping-related sexual motivation also stood out as a consistent predictor. Women who had sex to manage emotional discomfort, avoid conflict, or maintain closeness with a partner were more likely to fake climax.

“Our findings suggest that faking orgasm is not simply about sexual performance—it often reflects deeper emotional and relational struggles,” Meskó told PsyPost. “Women who have difficulty identifying, accepting, or managing their emotions were more likely to report faking orgasm, especially during vaginal intercourse.”

“For example, some women may fake orgasm because they feel anxious about disappointing their partner, guilty about not climaxing, or uncertain about how to communicate discomfort during sex. In these cases, faking orgasm may serve as a way to avoid conflict, soothe emotional tension, or protect the partner’s feelings. These findings highlight the importance of emotional awareness and honest communication in sexual relationships.”

The connection was stronger and more complex during vaginal intercourse than during oral sex. In the network analysis, which mapped the relationships among all variables, the psychological patterns surrounding faking orgasm during intercourse formed a denser and more interconnected structure. Key motives like partner assurance and ending the sexual encounter were linked to both emotional traits and coping goals. In contrast, the associations during oral sex were weaker and more scattered, suggesting that emotional and motivational factors may play a smaller role in that context.

Regression analysis confirmed these trends. During intercourse, non-acceptance of emotions and coping-related motivation were significant predictors of faking orgasm. For example, women who felt guilty or uncomfortable about not climaxing were more likely to simulate orgasm to ease tension or avoid disappointing their partner. Emotional clarity—being able to identify and understand feelings—was also linked to faking for the purpose of ending sex. In oral sex, only a few predictors emerged clearly, including non-acceptance of emotions and relationship-related sexual motives.

“One surprising aspect was that the psychological predictors we studied, particularly emotion regulation difficulties and coping-related sexual motives, were far more consistent and robust in the context of vaginal intercourse than in oral sex,” Meskó said. “We had expected similar patterns across both contexts, but some motives for faking orgasm during oral sex were not significantly predicted by any of the measured variables, even though the overall model was statistically significant.”

“This suggests that faking during oral sex may be more situational, less emotionally driven, or shaped by different social expectations. It challenged us to think more critically about how different sexual scripts and norms might influence the psychological dynamics behind this behavior. For example, a woman might fake orgasm during oral sex simply to move on from an uncomfortable moment—without it being tied to deeper emotional struggles or long-term relational concerns.”

The researchers note that cultural expectations likely play a role as well. In many heterosexual relationships, there is pressure on women to show sexual responsiveness or orgasm as a sign of relationship health. These scripts may contribute to a sense that faking is necessary or expected. Women may internalize the belief that their partner’s satisfaction depends on their own performance, even when that performance does not match their true experience.

While the study offers new insights, it is not without limitations. Because the research was based on self-report surveys, the accuracy of the data depends on participants’ willingness and ability to reflect on and describe their experiences. The design was also cross-sectional, meaning it cannot determine cause and effect. Future studies could use longitudinal or experimental designs to track how emotional states and motivations unfold in real time during sexual experiences.

“Our sample consisted exclusively of Hungarian women, so the findings might not fully generalize to women in other cultures or relational environments,” Meskó noted. “However, given that many psychological mechanisms are shared across societies, we believe these results can still offer valuable insight into broader patterns of female sexual behavior.”

Despite these caveats, the study contributes to a growing body of work emphasizing that sexual behavior is deeply intertwined with emotional life. The researchers are continuing this line of investigation. A follow-up study, currently under peer review, explores how efforts to retain a romantic partner, openness to casual sex, and satisfaction with the relationship predict faking orgasm.

“This new research compares different sexual contexts—vaginal intercourse versus oral sex—and shows that faking orgasm may function as a relational strategy, particularly when women are trying to preserve or strengthen their romantic bond,” Meskó explained. “Interestingly, we found that efforts to keep a partner from straying were a stronger predictor of faking orgasm than either openness to casual sex or how satisfied women felt in their relationship—especially during vaginal intercourse.”

“One important takeaway is that faking orgasm is not necessarily a sign of deception or manipulation—it can also reflect how a woman is trying to manage her own emotions or her partner’s feelings during sex. Some women may fake to avoid conflict, protect their partner’s self-esteem, or cope with their own discomfort, frustration, or sense of inadequacy.”

“Recognizing these motivations can help partners talk more openly about their sexual experiences and emotional needs,” Meskó continued. “Therapists and couples counselors might also consider exploring these patterns with clients, not to assign blame, but to build greater emotional awareness and intimacy. In this sense, understanding faking orgasm can open the door to more honest and compassionate conversations about sex.”

The study, “Emotion Regulation Difficulties and Sexual Motivation Associated with Faking Orgasm among Hungarian Women,” was authored by Norbert Meskó, Edit Csányi, Orsolya Inhóf, and András N. Zsidó.