A new psychological framework helps explain why people choose to end romantic relationships

People often think of breakups as impulsive or emotionally driven events. But new research suggests that ending a romantic relationship is typically a deliberate decision shaped by a range of social, emotional, and cognitive influences.

The study, published in The Journal of General Psychology, proposes an integrative framework to explain why people choose to leave their romantic partners. Rather than focusing on isolated personality traits or relationship problems, the authors argue that breakups are better understood as intentional behaviors that reflect a person’s beliefs, emotions, social pressures, and motivations.

Romantic relationships can bring many benefits, including emotional support, companionship, and improved well-being. At the same time, breakups are common and can cause distress for both partners. Despite the frequency and impact of relationship dissolution, much of the psychological literature has focused on why people stay in relationships rather than why they end them.

The researchers, Anna M. Semanko and Verlin B. Hinsz, sought to address this gap by drawing from two well-known theories that explain intentional behavior: the reasoned action approach and the theory of interpersonal behavior. Both models have been used to study a wide range of decisions, such as using birth control or changing jobs.

“Romantic relationship dissolution is a complex topic. This research expands upon prior work by integrating cognitive, emotional, social, and attitudinal factors that influence how people decide and potentially follow through with the decision to end a romantic relationship. The goal was to highlight how key contributors, such as those from the Theory of Interpersonal Behavior (Triandis, 1977) and Reasoned Action Approach (Fishbein & Ajzen, 2011), lead to breakup intentions and behavior,” explained Semanko, an assistant professor of psychology at The College of St. Scholastica.

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The researchers developed a theoretical model based on existing literature. They reviewed studies and conceptual work on relationship dissolution, behavioral intentions, and psychological factors related to decision-making. Their goal was to integrate insights from the two behavioral intention theories into a single framework that could explain the many influences on breakup decisions.

The reasoned action approach emphasizes that people’s intentions to act are shaped by their attitudes, perceived social norms, and sense of control over the behavior. For example, someone who believes breaking up is the right thing to do, perceives support from friends, and feels capable of doing it is more likely to follow through.

The theory of interpersonal behavior adds other factors to this equation. It highlights the roles of emotions, habits, social roles, and self-concept. According to this model, people don’t just weigh pros and cons cognitively. They also consider how the behavior makes them feel, how it aligns with their past patterns, and whether it fits with their identity.

The integrative framework proposed by the researchers combines both models and includes additional influences that may be particularly relevant in the context of romantic breakups. These include anticipated emotions (how someone expects to feel after the breakup), moral beliefs, and the individual’s attitude toward the breakup process itself.

The framework distinguishes between different types of influences. Affective influences refer to emotions and anticipated feelings. Social influences include perceived norms, roles, and self-concept. Cognitive influences involve beliefs about the consequences of breaking up and whether the person feels in control. Motivational factors like the formation of specific plans (called implementation intentions) are also included.

The authors explain that all these factors shape a person’s intention to break up. That intention, in turn, predicts whether the breakup will actually happen. However, they also acknowledge that this intention-behavior link is not always perfect. Strong emotions, unexpected obstacles, or changes in circumstances can interfere with someone’s original plan to end the relationship.

“Breaking up with a romantic partner is often a reasoned action – it involves a thoughtful decision-making process,” Semanko told PsyPost. “This work highlights the many factors that may facilitate (or constrain) the act of ending a romantic relationship. By highlighting these factors, individuals can better understand the underlying motivations and reasons behind this important decision.”

Importantly, the paper provides examples of how these factors operate in real life. For instance, someone might believe that ending their relationship would give them more independence, which leads to a favorable attitude toward breaking up.

But if they also expect to feel intense guilt or sadness, their emotional hesitation might reduce the strength of their intention. Or, they might believe that their friends would disapprove, weakening their motivation further. Conversely, someone who has broken up with past partners and found it empowering may have stronger habits and higher confidence that support their decision.

The framework also highlights how background characteristics like age, religion, or personality traits shape breakup behavior indirectly. Rather than having a direct effect, these traits influence beliefs and emotions that feed into the decision-making process.

“Much psychological research investigates individual differences (e.g., attachment styles),” Semanko said. “Although individual differences are important, broader factors – like social factors – substantially contribute too.”

Social norms and self-concept emerged as particularly important influences. If a person identifies strongly with being a committed partner or sees their relationship as central to their identity, they may feel greater reluctance to end it. On the other hand, someone whose social circle views breakups as common and acceptable may be more inclined to see dissolution as a viable option.

The researchers also discussed how implementation intentions—detailed plans for when and how to act—can increase the likelihood of following through. For example, deciding in advance to have a conversation with one’s partner during a quiet evening at home can make the breakup more likely to occur.

This work is conceptual rather than empirical. That means the authors did not test their framework with data. Instead, they built a model based on previous studies and theoretical reasoning. As a result, more research is needed to determine which factors in the framework are the most predictive of actual breakup behavior.

Another limitation is that the review does not account for cultural differences in relationships. Norms around dating and commitment can vary across cultures, which might affect the weight or relevance of certain beliefs or social influences.

“This framework will be tested to investigate which theoretical antecedents contribute the most to intentions to break up with a partner,” Semanko said.

By identifying the factors that make breakups more or less likely, the framework could help individuals better understand their own motivations and choices. It may also inform therapists or counselors who support people navigating the difficult decision to end a relationship.

“The proposed framework can be applied to other important interpersonal decisions too, such as the decision to end a friendship, leave an occupation, or even an intention to be married or have children,” Semanko added.

The study, “Intending to Break Up: Exploring Romantic Relationship Dissolution from an Integrated Behavioral Intention Framework,” was authored by Anna M. Semanko and Verlin B. Hinsz.