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A brief meditative practice that involves gazing at another person while silently contemplating shared human experiences can increase feelings of closeness and prosocial behavior—even between strangers, according to new research published in Mindfulness. The study found that a two-minute exercise known as the “Just-Like-Me” meditation not only boosted perceived warmth and connection but also synchronized participants’ smiles and heart rates, suggesting that subtle forms of emotional alignment may help explain the practice’s interpersonal effects.
The study was led by Vera U. Ludwig and colleagues at the University of Pennsylvania and other institutions. It was conducted in the context of the Wharton Neuroscience Initiative, where Ludwig previously worked, in collaboration with Michael Platt. The team sought to investigate how dyadic meditations—mindfulness practices performed between two people—might enhance social connection, especially during a time of widespread loneliness and isolation.
Research has shown that social isolation can have serious consequences for health and mental well-being, and the COVID-19 pandemic only heightened the need for interventions that foster meaningful interaction. While solitary meditation has been linked to greater compassion and prosocial behavior, dyadic formats may more directly engage the social systems that promote trust, empathy, and cooperation.
The researchers focused on a specific dyadic practice called the “Just-Like-Me” meditation. In this practice, participants silently look into each other’s eyes while contemplating sentences designed to evoke a sense of shared humanity. These prompts included thoughts like “Just like me, this person has felt sadness, loneliness, and pain,” or “Just like me, this person longs for peace, love, and self-expression.”
“I personally experienced the ‘Just-Like-Me’ meditation in a workshop (led by Mironel de Wilde) many years ago,” explained Ludwig, the director of the Human Sexuality and Well-Being Project at the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. “The intensity of looking into someone’s eyes and contemplating their humanity impressed me deeply. Many people in the room had tears in their eyes. So, I wanted to explore this method as one way to overcome or address loneliness, polarization, and disconnection in our society.”
“Often, people – especially in the business world – view meditation methods like this as somewhat ‘woo-woo’ or unconventional. That is why I wanted to provide solid scientific evidence that they actually work. I hoped this would give people a reason to try them and take these methods seriously.”
“I think it is really needed,” Ludwig continued. “For example, in the United States right now, Democrats hardly speak with Republicans anymore, and vice versa. I have the impression that both sides dehumanize the other side, sometimes almost saying that the other side is not worthy of compassion or understanding at all. People hate on groups of other people based on their religion, immigration status, gender, or other factors.”
“What if we all stopped for a moment and noticed: ‘Just like me’ all these people are humans, going through this world struggling to find their way. They all have feelings, hopes, needs, dreams, wishes; they all have felt lonely, they are often very much doing their best given the circumstances they have been experiencing. I might be naïve, but I believe in the good deep down in (almost) all people, even if their actions can be problematic. Let’s connect, not hate. Talk to each other, instead of assuming. Let’s figure this out together.”
The researchers compared Just-Like-Me meditation to two control conditions: one in which participants simply gazed at each other without any reflective prompts, and, in a second study, a third condition in which participants sat next to one another and practiced solitary breath-focused meditation with their eyes closed.
The first was conducted virtually over Zoom with 55 participants who were paired into 101 dyads. In this study, participants engaged in either the Just-Like-Me meditation or the simple gazing condition, each lasting two minutes.
Before and after each interaction, participants completed self-report questionnaires rating their sense of closeness, perceptions of their partner’s warmth, competence, and attractiveness, and how much of a hypothetical $100 they would share with their partner in a version of the dictator game. Facial expressions were recorded using webcam footage and analyzed with facial recognition software to assess smile synchrony.
In the second study, the researchers conducted an in-person version of the experiment with 98 participants and 238 dyad pairings. This study added the solitary “Eyes Closed” condition as a comparison. It also included heart rate measurements using chest-strap monitors to evaluate physiological synchrony between participants. Ratings of potential for friendship were added in this version, and romantic attraction was assessed only at the end of the session.
Across both studies, the Just-Like-Me meditation and the gazing condition produced consistent and meaningful effects. In both virtual and in-person settings, participants reported feeling closer to their partners after just two minutes. These increases in closeness were typically about one standard deviation, a large effect for such a brief exercise.
Across both studies, participants consistently rated their partners as more attractive following both meditations. Perceptions of warmth also increased, though this effect was limited to the gazing condition in the virtual setting; in person, both meditations led to warmer impressions. In the in-person study, the Just-Like-Me condition also led to higher ratings of the partner’s competence and potential as a friend. When the two meditations were directly compared in this setting, Just-Like-Me outperformed Gazing on measures of closeness and friendship potential.
Participants also showed increased prosocial behavior after engaging in the dyadic meditations. In both studies, participants allocated more hypothetical money to their partner in the dictator game compared to typical baselines found in previous research. In the in-person study, those who completed the Just-Like-Me meditation gave more than those in the solitary Eyes Closed condition, suggesting a link between interpersonal engagement and generosity.
“Potentially, people can experience increased perceptions of attractiveness, which is helpful to be prepared for,” Ludwig said. “It can sometimes feel quite intense to do this exercise with someone. This might be a desirable side effect in dating contexts or romantic partnerships, and it’s usually not overly problematic in other contexts, given this effect is not very strong. I speculate that this happens because we begin to resonate with the other person and perceive their unique ‘beauty,’ so to speak, which increases their perceived attractiveness. The benefits of the exercise likely far outweigh any potential risks.”
Importantly, the researchers also explored the role of synchrony—subtle coordination in behavior and physiology—as a potential mechanism. In the virtual study, smile synchrony between participants predicted greater closeness, warmth, and even romantic attraction for mixed-gender dyads, but not for same-gender dyads. Dyads in the Just-Like-Me condition showed higher levels of smile synchrony than those in the gazing condition, even though they smiled less overall.
In the in-person study, heart rate synchrony was observed among Just-Like-Me participants and was higher than among pseudo-dyads—pairs who completed the same task separately but were not actual partners. However, unlike smile synchrony, heart rate synchrony did not predict perceived closeness or prosocial behavior.
“When I saw that there was actually smiling synchrony and heart rate synchrony emerging between people doing the Just-Like-Me meditation, I was deeply moved,” Ludwig said. “I had predicted that, of course, but to actually see it was sort of mind-blowing. In terms of the heart rate synchrony, I recommend still some degree of caution interpreting it, because our heart rate measure was very coarse (one measurement every 2 seconds). But something seems to be going on. The synchrony was significantly higher than when I randomly paired participants’ data sets with others in the same condition, which is one gold standard for demonstrating synchrony.”
The findings suggest that a brief moment of mindful, compassionate attention directed toward another person can significantly enhance interpersonal connection, and that synchrony—whether in facial expressions or heart rhythms—may help explain these effects. The results align with a growing body of research showing that emotional and physiological alignment between people is associated with increased trust, empathy, and social cohesion.
“Participants were strangers, most of them students at UPenn, who were quite new to meditating in general,” Ludwig noted. “I put them in an ‘impossible’ situation, surprising them by asking them to gaze at a stranger in this way (of course, voluntarily). They were not pre-selected based on being interested in wanting to connect in that way. The in-person version (Study 2) was happening just at the end of the pandemic, when everyone was still anxious about social connection. The fact that it worked even in such a group of people and at that difficult time moves me deeply. I truly believe this study can teach us something very important.”
What might this actually look like in everyday life? The researchers suggest that anyone—from partners to coworkers—could benefit from practicing the Just-Like-Me meditation. One of the most compelling aspects of the practice was its accessibility.
“The Just-Like-Me meditation is a simple method that can help people (even and especially strangers) connect deeply with each other quickly,” Ludwig told PsyPost. “Our data shows that clearly in terms of self-report and even in terms of smiling synchrony and heart rate synchrony. People could try it with their partner, friends, or work colleagues. It could be used in retreat settings, in educational settings, in organizations, or even in the workplace. Simply have two people look at each other silently and contemplate the sentences that we provided in the study. One could adapt the prompts for different audiences or come up with new ones.”
“If direct eye contact is too uncomfortable, it can be enough to sit with each other, looking at the other person’s hair or another area that feels comfortable. The exercise can even be done alone, in one’s imagination or with a photograph (although we didn’t investigate this here, so I can’t make scientific claims on this yet). Sit down, close your eyes, and think of someone specific while contemplating one of the sentences.”
“Alternatively, look at a photo of the individual,” Ludwig explained. “You could start with someone you already know a bit and like (as people do in ‘loving kindness meditation’). And then make it harder by thinking of someone you truly do not like or have problems with; it could for example be someone with opposing political views, a different group in society that you mistrust, or a person in your life who you are envious of.
“It doesn’t mean forgiving everything the other person has done or accepting everything about them. But it does mean opening oneself to shared humanity and perhaps, if that doesn’t seem too strongly put, even a state of unconditional love. This could then open up new avenues for mutual understanding and problem solving.”
“As mentioned, I learned this method from Mironel de Wilde, who learned it from other non-violent communication teachers. I haven’t been able to figure out where exactly it came from, but there are a few books that mention a method similar to it, such as by Dass and Bush. Also the Dalai Lama has mentioned similar ideas, as presented in this study.”
Still, there were some limitations. The positive outcomes were measured immediately after the interaction, and it remains unclear how long these effects last. The dictator game involved hypothetical money, which may not perfectly reflect real-world behavior. Future studies could benefit from longer sessions, different social contexts, or the use of real incentives.
The authors acknowledge that dyadic meditations may not be comfortable or appropriate for every setting. While some participants reported feeling more connected, others described the exercise as awkward or emotionally intense. Mixed-gender pairs occasionally reported increased romantic feelings, which might not be welcome in every context, such as the workplace. Participants must be fully informed and allowed to opt out if they feel uncomfortable.
“Potentially there can be increased attractiveness perceptions, which is good to prepare oneself for,” Ludwig said. “It can just be very intense to do this exercise with someone. This might be a desirable side effect in a romantic partnership, however, and not overly problematic in other contexts given this effect is not very strong. I speculate that it’s just that we start to resonate with the other person, perceive their unique “beauty” so to speak, and that increases the perceived attractiveness. Moreover, the benefits likely outweigh the risks very much.”
Despite these caveats, the study points to a simple and accessible method for enhancing human connection. The Just-Like-Me meditation requires no special equipment, can be completed in just two minutes, and is effective both in-person and over video. The researchers suggest that it could be used in a wide range of settings. In particular, the lead author is interested in applying the exercise in romantic relationships, to foster intimacy, or in community settings to reduce gang-related violence and political polarization.
“I’m currently focusing on the study of sexual well-being,” Ludwig said. “Therefore, one direction I’m particularly interested in is applying this exercise in romantic partnerships to explore whether it can strengthen relationships or even enhance physical intimacy.”
“I’ve also been in conversation with someone from the law enforcement community, David Berez, who suggested applying this method in restorative justice settings, supporting people who have committed a crime in connecting with their victims in a new way, or possibly even vice versa. While this could be emotionally complex and challenging, I believe it has the potential to be deeply impactful. Similarly, I wonder if it could help young people involved in gang-related violence see one another in a different light. With so many tragic shootings amongst youth occurring in Philadelphia, I wish there were a way for youth to access something like this. I hope that other researchers or community workers might take this idea further and bring it into the world.”
“Finally, I would love to explore the use of this method to foster connection across political divides in the United States,” Ludwig said. “It makes me sad to see how polarized our society has become, and I believe this division is hindering our ability to address the real challenges we face. I understand that many people feel deep anger and resistance to engaging with those on the “other side,” and those emotions are valid. Still, I think it’s worth trying – even a little – to open up space for genuine dialogue. We can disagree on issues and still connect on a human level.”
“I hope that people give this meditation method a real try! It could be alone, with one’s partner, with friends or in organizations or educational settings! Even if it seems awkward at first, pushing through resistance may pay off in beautiful ways. It’s ok to laugh and giggle when starting out. Just keep at it and observe the effects.”
The study, “Synchronous Smiles and Hearts: Dyadic Meditations Enhance Closeness and Prosocial Behavior in Virtual and In‑Person Settings,” was authored by Vera U. Ludwig, Lana Prieur, Scott M. Rennie, Andrew Beswerchij, Devora Weintraub, Blaire Berry, Jenny Wey, Katelyn Candido, and Michael L. Platt. Mironel de Wilde served as an advisor on the meditation method.
