Gossip might do more for your relationship than you think, study suggests

Couples who gossip together may be happier and more satisfied in their relationships, according to a new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

While gossip is often criticized as petty or harmful, psychologists have long noted that it can strengthen social bonds, such as between friends and coworkers.

However, previous research has rarely looked at gossip specifically between romantic partners. Additionally, most past studies rely on self-reports or artificial lab settings, which are biased and do not reflect real-world gossip.

To address these research gaps, Chandler M. Spahr and Megan L. Robbins from the University of California recruited 76 couples from Southern California. These included both same-gender (man-man, woman-woman) and different-gender (man-woman) pairs. All participants were in long-term, marriage-like relationships and living together for at least a year.

Each person wore a small portable recording device, called the Electronically Activated Recorder (EAR), for two weekends. The device captured short sound clips throughout their day-to-day lives in a naturalistic setting, whether it was at home, at work, or in a public setting.

In total, nearly 100,000 audio clips were collected. A team of research assistants coded the conversations to identify when participants were gossiping – defined as talking about someone not physically present in the conversation. Participants also filled out surveys measuring their happiness and relationship quality.

The findings showed that gossip was a common part of couples’ daily conversations. Partners spent an average of 38 minutes per day gossiping, and nearly every couple engaged in gossip at least once. About 3 percent of all recordings contained gossip with a romantic partner.

Couples who gossiped more frequently with each other reported higher levels of happiness and better relationship quality. This link was consistent across both same-gender and different-gender couples.

Some differences by relationship type also appeared. Women in relationships with women tended to gossip more often and reported the highest relationship quality. Women in relationships with men reported the lowest relationship quality. However, gossip predicted positive outcomes across all groups.

“Because gossip is a shared activity, it may reinforce the perception that partners are “on the same team,” enhancing feelings of connectedness, trust, and other positive relationship qualities,” Spahr and Robbins explained.

The authors note some caveats. For instance, the study did not distinguish between positive and negative gossip, or examine the subjects of gossip. Participants also tended to report already high levels of happiness, suggesting the findings may not represent couples in more strained situations.

The study, “Spill the tea, honey: Gossiping predicts well-being in same- and different-gender couples,” was authored by Chandler M. Spahr and Megan L. Robbins.