New research provides evidence that people with darker personality traits are more likely to use flirting as a tool for personal gain rather than for romantic connection. The study suggests that while the social environment largely dictates when people flirt for love, individual personality features drive the decision to flirt for material rewards or favors. These findings were published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences.
Scientific inquiry into human interaction has identified various reasons why individuals engage in flirting. Some motivations are relational, meaning they are intended to start a new romance or deepen an existing bond. Other motivations are instrumental, where the goal is to secure a specific benefit or reward from another person.
Instrumental flirting can be purely utilitarian. An individual might flirt with a bartender to get a free drink or with a coworker to receive assistance on a project. While these distinctions are well-established, less was known about which types of people gravitate toward these specific behaviors.
“My coauthors and I were interested in addressing a gap in flirting research. Previous research has established several motivations people have for flirting (e.g., for romantic interest, for fun, for esteem-boosting),” said study author Braden T. Hall, a PhD student at the University of Alabama who collaborated with the University of Alabama Psychology Research Think Tank.
“However, little to no research has examined the individual differences that promote the chronic adoption of specific motives. We chose two contrasting personality frameworks (the Dark and Light Triads) to best illustrate the differential effects of individual differences in motive adoption.”
The Dark Triad is a psychological framework that describes three offensive personality traits. Narcissism involves a grand sense of self-importance and a persistent craving for validation. Machiavellianism is defined by the use of manipulation and a focus on self-interest over morality. Psychopathy is marked by a lack of empathy and callous behavior toward others.
The Light Triad represents the benevolent side of human personality. This group consists of faith in humanity, humanism, and Kantianism. Faith in humanity involves the belief that others are fundamentally good and worthy of trust. Humanism focuses on valuing the dignity and worth of every individual. Kantianism refers to acting with integrity and treating people as an end in themselves rather than as tools for success.
The researchers aimed to determine if these specific character traits could predict whether a person flirts to build a “we” or to benefit “me.” They proposed that people with manipulative tendencies would be more prone to instrumental flirting. They also anticipated that those with a communal orientation would prefer relational flirting.
To investigate these questions, the research team recruited a total of 2,865 participants. These individuals were organized into 955 groups, which the researchers referred to as triads. Each group consisted of one main participant and two informants who knew that person well.
The main participants were primarily female and white, with an average age of approximately 27 years. The use of informants allowed the researchers to gather data that extended beyond simple self-reports. This method helped minimize the potential for social desirability bias, where people might downplay their manipulative behaviors.
Participants and their informants completed a series of online surveys. They were first presented with a standardized definition of flirting to ensure consistency. They then reviewed examples of flirting in seven different social settings.
These settings included romantic contexts, sexual contexts, workplace environments, parties, restaurants or bars, schools, and interactions with strangers. For each setting, the participants rated the frequency and skill of the main participant’s flirting behavior. They also rated the underlying motives for that behavior.
The study measured relational motives by asking to what extent the person flirted to enhance a relationship. Instrumental motives were measured by asking to what extent the person flirted to get something they wanted. The researchers averaged the scores from the main participant and the two informants to create a composite score.
In addition to the flirting measures, the main participants completed assessments for the Dark Triad and Light Triad traits. The Dark Triad assessment evaluated levels of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. The Light Triad assessment measured faith in humanity, humanism, and Kantianism.
The researchers analyzed the data using multilevel modeling to account for the nested nature of the reports. They controlled for general flirting frequency and skill. This allowed them to isolate the specific influence of personality on motivation.
The results indicated that the Dark Triad traits were positively associated with instrumental flirting motives. Individuals who scored higher on the combined Dark Triad measure were more likely to use flirting to achieve goals or obtain resources. This effect was driven largely by Machiavellianism and psychopathy.
Narcissism showed a different pattern. This trait was unrelated to both relational and instrumental motives. The researchers suggest that narcissistic individuals may flirt simply to receive attention or admiration rather than to achieve a specific outcome.
The researchers found that the Light Triad traits were generally negatively associated with instrumental flirting. People who scored high on faith in humanity, humanism, and Kantianism were less likely to use flirting for manipulative purposes. This aligns with the moral focus of the Light Triad framework.
However, the Light Triad traits were mostly unrelated to relational flirting motives. Only humanism showed a small positive association with flirting to enhance relationships. This suggests that “light” personality traits do not necessarily make someone more likely to flirt for romance.
“We were surprised at the null relationships between Light Triad traits and relational flirting motives,” Hall told PsyPost. “We expected that individuals higher in these traits would be more inclined to form romantic relationships, but, in hindsight, perhaps these traits are not tapping into the individual differences that would affect such motives.”
The researchers also examined the role of the social setting. They found that the context of the interaction was a strong predictor of relational flirting. People were naturally more likely to flirt for relationship enhancement in romantic settings compared to other environments.
This implies that relational flirting is largely situational. It is driven by the opportunity for romance rather than by specific personality traits. In contrast, instrumental flirting appeared to be more strongly driven by disposition.
“I think this paper offers a nuanced view of the idea that some people are ‘flirty’ individuals,” Hall said. “I would want the average reader to understand that people do have somewhat consistent flirting behaviors (i.e., flirting is not merely a situation-specific behavior), and that these behaviors are motivated in certain ways toward certain goals. It also underscores the importance of considering where someone is coming from when you sense they are flirting with you.”
The study also revealed gender differences regarding instrumental motives. Women were found to be more likely to adopt instrumental flirting motives than men. The authors note that this may be because women are more often on the receiving end of material rewards in flirting contexts, such as free drinks.
The data indicated that instrumental flirting was less common when interacting with strangers or at school compared to romantic settings. However, instrumental motives were more common in sexual contexts. This is likely because the individuals are focused on achieving the specific goal of having sex.
The statistical associations were relatively small in size. This means that while personality plays a role, it is not the only factor influencing why people flirt. “The effects of the traits on flirting motives are subtle,” Hall noted. “However, these effects may compound over time and situations to create larger effects.”
There are some limitations to this research. The study relied on cross-sectional data. This prevents the researchers from proving that personality traits cause the adoption of specific flirting motives. It is possible that the relationship is influenced by a third variable.
It is also important to avoid overinterpreting the directionality of the findings. “An important caveat is that we are by no means suggesting that the effects travel in reverse,” Hall told PsyPost. “That is, we are not suggesting that people who flirt with more instrumental motives are narcissistic, Machiavellian, or psychopathic.”
The study used informant reports, which is a strength, but future research could benefit from other methods. For example behavioral observations in real-world settings could provide additional validity. The researchers expressed an interest in conducting field experiments in places where flirting commonly occurs. Bars, coffee shops, and parties could serve as venues for gathering qualitative data.
The study, “Flirting for me or flirting for we? The Dark and Light Triads as predictors of flirting motive,” was authored by Braden T. Hall, Toni Rebaldo, Amelia Geist, Angel Reed, and Darren George.
