How sexual expression influences long-term marital satisfaction in older couples

A new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior has found that older couples who experience more agreement in their sexual expression, and engage in frequent sexual activity, report better marital quality over time. The research emphasizes the link between sexual behaviors, attitudes, and desires—collectively referred to as “sexual expression”—and their role in shaping both positive and negative aspects of marital quality.

As people age, their sexual activity typically declines, but intimacy and sexual expression can still be important components of marital satisfaction. While previous research has demonstrated a connection between sexual activity and relationship quality in younger couples, there has been less attention given to older adults. With life expectancy increasing, the dynamics of long-term relationships, especially in terms of intimacy, warrant deeper exploration.

“We are interested in researching the sexual expression of older adults because this area remains stigmatized and underexplored despite its importance to the overall well-being of older individuals,” said study author Heidi A. Lyons, an associate professor of sociology at Oakland University.

“Society often overlooks or dismisses the sexual needs and desires of older adults, leading to a lack of adequate support and understanding in this aspect of their lives. By studying this topic, we hope to contribute to a more nuanced and respectful understanding of older adults’ sexual behavior. Such research has the potential to challenge harmful stereotypes and reduce stigma, fostering a more inclusive environment where older individuals can fully embrace their sexuality and experience a more fulfilling life.”

For their study, the researchers used data from the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project (NSHAP), which includes a large sample of older adults in the United States. Specifically, they focused on 620 heterosexual couples who were interviewed across two different time points, five years apart. The average age of wives in the study was 66, while husbands were slightly older, at around 69 years. Most couples had been married for an average of 39 years. The study captured various aspects of sexual expression at the first time point and measured both positive and negative marital quality at the second.

Free daily newsletter

To assess sexual expression, participants were asked about their sexual behaviors over the past 12 months, including how often they engaged in sexual activities like vaginal intercourse, oral sex, or intimate touching. They also inquired about sexual desires—such as how often participants masturbated or thought about sex—and how satisfied they were with the frequency of their sexual activities. Additionally, participants rated how important sex was to them, offering insight into their motivations for engaging in sexual activity.

The marital quality of each couple was assessed five years later using questions about how often they could rely on their partner for emotional support, how much they felt understood by their partner, and how often their partner got on their nerves or made demands. These responses provided a measure of both the positive and negative dimensions of marital quality.

The study identified four distinct groups, or “latent classes,” of sexual expression among older couples:

1. Traditionalist (28%) – These couples engaged in sexual activity about once a month, focusing primarily on vaginal intercourse, and exhibited some discrepancies between husbands and wives in terms of sexual desire. Wives tended to be more satisfied with the frequency of sexual activity than husbands.
2. Versatile (34%) – This group had the highest frequency of sexual activity, often engaging in vaginal intercourse and intimate touching, with both partners generally satisfied with the frequency and importance of sex in their lives.
3. Compensatory (8%) – In this group, husbands reported more frequent sexual activity than their wives, with many compensating for a lack of intercourse through other forms of sexual activity, like oral sex or intimate touching. Both partners were generally dissatisfied with their sexual relationship.
4. Resigned Inactive (29%) – These couples rarely engaged in any sexual activity and exhibited low levels of sexual desire, with sex being of little importance to either partner.

When the researchers examined marital quality five years later, they found that couples who belonged to the “Versatile” group, with higher sexual frequency and mutual satisfaction, had the highest levels of positive marital quality for both husbands and wives. On the other hand, couples in the “Compensatory” group, who exhibited a greater discrepancy in sexual activity between spouses, reported the lowest levels of marital satisfaction.

Interestingly, sexual expression appeared to be more strongly associated with positive marital quality than negative marital quality. For example, couples in the “Traditionalist” and “Versatile” groups not only experienced higher marital satisfaction but also lower levels of conflict or tension compared to couples in the other two groups. In contrast, couples in the “Compensatory” group were more likely to report higher levels of negative marital quality, particularly among wives.

The researchers also found that demographic and health-related factors played a role in marital quality. For example, older husbands who had physical limitations reported higher positive marital quality if they were in the “Traditionalist” or “Versatile” groups, suggesting that sexual expression may help compensate for physical challenges.

In contrast, couples where the husband experienced erectile difficulties were more likely to report lower marital satisfaction, particularly in the “Traditionalist” group. Meanwhile, wives’ self-rated mental health had a significant influence on marital quality in both the “Versatile” and “Resigned Inactive” groups, with better mental health linked to higher positive marital quality for both spouses.

“The study highlights that a sizable proportion of older couples actively engage in various types of sexual behavior, highlighting a diverse aspect of their relationships,” Lyons told PsyPost. “Notably, couples who reported more frequent sexual activity and greater alignment in their desires and motivations experienced higher positive marital quality five years later. The findings highlight the importance of addressing sexual health and intimacy in older adults, as these factors are closely linked to enduring positive marital outcomes and continued relational satisfaction.”

While this study provides valuable insights into the role of sexual expression in older adults’ relationships, it does have some caveats to consider. For instance, the sample included couples who were still together five years later, which might indicate a selection bias toward couples who already had relatively stable and healthy relationships. Future studies might benefit from examining couples who experience more instability or health challenges, as well as those who separate or divorce.

“The long-term goals of our research on older adult sexual behavior are to challenge and dismantle the prevailing stigma surrounding sexuality in later life and to provide a comprehensive understanding of how sexual expression remains an important component of many older couples’ relationships,” Lyons said.

“By exploring and documenting the nuances of sexual behavior among older adults, we aim to highlight its significance in overall relationship satisfaction. This research hopes to start to shift societal perceptions, promote open dialogue about aging and sexuality, and ultimately enhance the quality of life for older couples by affirming that sexual expression is a key aspect of their well-being and relational health.”

The study, “Sexual Expression and Subsequent Marital Quality Among Partnered Older Adults,” was authored by Heidi A. Lyons, David F. Warner, and Terri L. Orbuch.