Have you ever heard someone say that their significant other knows them better than they know themselves? A study published in the Journal of Research in Personality suggests that though that may not be true, romantic partners are generally just as accurate about their partners abilities as their partners are about their own abilities.
Feedback on our abilities from people close to us can be useful since our own perceptions may not always be fully accurate. Previous research has focused on the accuracy of self-perception and different factors that influence our perceptions of others. Self-other knowledge asymmetry, or SOKA, is a model that identifies four categories for traits: open area, blind spot, hidden area, and unknown area.
Open area traits are judged accurately by oneself and others, blind spots are only accurately judged by others, hidden area traits are only accurately judged by oneself, and unknown area is not appropriately judged by either. This study sought to understand the difference in accuracy between oneself, a romantic partner, a close friend, and an acquaintance.
For their study, Gabriela Hofer and colleagues utilized a sample of 238 participants between the ages of 18 and 45 who were recruited over social media, on-campus, and from mailing lists. Participants had to speak German and be in a romantic relationship of at least 6 months.
For each participant, data was collected from themselves, their significant other, their closest friend, and an acquaintance. Participants completed measures on intelligence, creativity, and emotional abilities. Participants and their chosen companions filled out estimates of ability. Participants were also asked to assess the closeness of their relationships.
Results indicated that people were able to predict their own abilities to a moderately accurate degree. The participants’ romantic partners were able to predict the abilities of the participant with a similar level of accuracy. “All in all, it appears that the increased interpersonal intimacy between partners and targets—as compared to other informants—might not necessarily be detrimental when it comes to accuracy,” the researchers said.
Surprisingly, participants did not overestimate their abilities, but rather were more likely to underestimate themselves. People were especially able to accurately judge their own abilities when it came to numerical intelligence. Romantic partners were more accurately able to predict their partners abilities in every single domain measured compared to close friends or acquaintances. Romantic partners were able to shed somewhat accurate insight into intrapersonal skills of the participant, which the other groups were not.
This study took important steps into understanding the accuracy of self and other’s perceptions, there are limitations to be aware of. One such limitation is that the sample was smaller than originally targeted due to complications from COVID-19. Additionally, there are many different types of acquaintances, such as work friends or friends of friends, and it is possible their accuracy would differ due to nuances of the relationship.
“This study’s results suggest that people we are very well-acquainted with—like our closest friends or our partners—can provide at least moderately accurate assessments of a variety of our cognitive and non-cognitive abilities,” the researchers concluded. “Both types of sources might also be able to provide us with information about our abilities that we ourselves have no access to. In that, our partners also do not appear to idealize our abilities—at least not more than our close friends or acquaintances.”
“Indeed, people who we have just met or who we only interact with in very specific contexts—like at work or at university—are likely less accurate in their perceptions of our abilities. Our own knowledge of our abilities can be considered moderate across many areas and even high in the domain of numerical intelligence. Despite all that, the associations between our own and different types of others’ perceptions of our abilities and our actual standing on the same abilities are far from perfect. Thus, when we really want to know how well we are doing in a domain, our best option likely remains to take psychometrically sound performance tests.”
The study, “Love is not blind: What romantic partners know about our abilities compared to ourselves, our close friends, and our acquaintances“, was authored by Gabriela Hofer, Silvia Macher, and Aljoscha C. Neubauer.