A new study suggests that certain personality traits and past relationship patterns are linked to whether an individual avoids intimate touch or uses it to control their romantic partner. The research also indicates that the mechanisms behind these behaviors may differ between men and women. The findings were published in the journal Current Psychology.
The study, led by University of Virginia PhD student Emily R. Ives and Binghamton University Professor Richard Mattson, focused on a set of personality characteristics known as the Dark Triad: Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and narcissism. Machiavellianism refers to a strategic and cynical approach to manipulating others for personal gain. Psychopathy is primarily marked by a lack of empathy, impulsivity, and shallow emotions, while narcissism involves a grandiose sense of entitlement and a persistent need for admiration.
The researchers also examined attachment theory, which proposes that our early life experiences with caregivers shape our expectations and behaviors in adult relationships. These experiences can lead to insecure attachment styles, such as an anxious style characterized by a fear of rejection, or an avoidant style marked by discomfort with closeness.
The researchers sought to understand if there was a connection between these concepts and the less-studied aspects of physical touch. While touch is often seen as a positive force in relationships, some people experience touch aversion, finding physical affection intrusive. Others may engage in coercive touch, using physical contact not for affection but to exert dominance or manipulate a partner.
“I was interested in touch as a tool for communication in relationships. While research in this area often describes touch as a means to communicate positive emotions and provide support, it can also be used to communicate ‘darker’ messages—those that convey power over one’s partner and facilitate self-serving motivations,” explained Ives.
“My research team and I were also interested in whether those who would use touch in a coercive fashion would also themselves demonstrate a discomfort with being touched affectionately. If so, one potential factor that could explain this overall negative orientation toward touch was a characterological discomfort comfort with interpersonal closeness and proximity, known as attachment style, which is further linked to psychopathic, narcissistic, and Machiavellian personality traits.”
“These dispositions are collectively referred to as the ‘Dark Triad’ and center on being manipulative and self-oriented. We reasoned that individuals would be the most likely to wield touch in untoward ways towards others, including romantic partners, to the extent they were in some way insecure in their interpersonal relationships and also demonstrated these Dark Triad traits.”
For their study, the researchers recruited 526 undergraduate students who were currently in a romantic relationship. Participants completed a series of questionnaires designed to measure their attachment style, assessing their levels of attachment anxiety and avoidance. They also completed a survey to measure their levels of the three Dark Triad personality traits.
Finally, they answered questions about their experiences with physical intimacy, specifically focusing on touch aversion and the use of coercive touch. Questions related to touch aversion assessed the extent to which participants found physical contact from their partner to be intrusive or uncomfortable, often leading them to actively avoid being touched. Coercive touch, on the other hand, was evaluated by asking if participants ever use physical contact as a tool to assert control, express dominance, or manipulate their partner into compliance.
The initial results provided evidence for their main hypothesis. The analysis showed that the shared element among the three Dark Triad traits, which can be described as an antagonistic interpersonal style, was associated with both greater touch aversion and a higher tendency to use coercive touch.
The findings also suggested a pathway from early relationship patterns to these touch behaviors. Individuals with higher levels of either anxious or avoidant attachment tended to report higher levels of Dark Triad traits. These personality traits then appeared to function as an intermediary, linking the insecure attachment styles to the negative touch outcomes.
“Touch is a powerful tool used to communicate many things in relationships, from love and support to control over one’s partner, and not all people are receptive to touch in either case,” Ives and Mattson told PsyPost. “The use of touch as a form of manipulation can vary over time within and across different relationships, but for some may represent a more stable interpersonal approach or trait.”
Interestingly, when the researchers examined the data separately for men and women, a more complex picture emerged. The proposed pathway appeared to hold true mainly for women. For female participants, insecure attachment styles were associated with higher scores on the Dark Triad traits, and these traits fully accounted for their increased likelihood of reporting touch aversion and using coercive touch.
The pattern for men was different. For them, attachment insecurity seemed to have a more direct impact on touch behaviors, with Dark Triad traits playing a less significant role. Men who reported a more avoidant attachment style also tended to report greater touch aversion directly, independent of their personality scores. Similarly, men with a more anxious attachment style were more likely to use coercive touch, a connection that did not appear to be explained by their Dark Triad traits.
This suggests that for women in the study, a tendency toward manipulative or antagonistic personality traits may be a key factor driving negative touch behaviors. For men, these same behaviors might be more directly tied to their underlying insecurities and fears about relationships, such as a fear of abandonment or a discomfort with emotional vulnerability. An additional analysis confirmed that coercive touch was distinct from outright physical aggression, suggesting it is a unique form of manipulation within relationships.
“We were interested in potential gender differences in one’s orientation towards touch, but this line of research is so new that we did not have much on which to build specific predictions,” the researchers explained. “In that sense, I think we could say that finding stark differences in the reasons why women and men used or oriented to touch in problematic ways was somewhat surprising!”
“Put simply, issues related to touch for men boiled down to relationship insecurity regardless of other traits whereas this emerged for relationally insecure women only when they were also elevated on Dark Triad personality characteristics. In hindsight, it is possible that women are more socialized in our society to use touch to communicate and therefore, women high in Dark Triad traits may feel more comfortable using this communication method to manipulate their partners.”
“This is not to say men do not have methods of manipulating their partners, but that potentially they do this in different ways. For instance, it is also possible that men higher on Dark Triad traits use methods other than touch to manipulate or ensure compliance, such as physical or psychological aggression.”
The study has some limitations to consider. The participants were primarily white, heterosexual undergraduate students from one university, so the findings may not apply to other populations. The study design was also correlational, meaning it identifies associations between variables but cannot prove that one causes another.
“Our sample was made up entirely of undergraduates whose psychiatric history is not known to us,” Ives and Mattson noted. “That is to say, we have no idea if any of these people would be diagnosable as psychopathic, for instance, or if there are other traits that run alongside the Dark Triad that can better explain our findings.”
“Correspondingly, it is also important to highlight that coercive touch and touch aversion were normally distributed, meaning that many individuals in the sample reported some use of coercive touch or times when they react negatively to touch. Our findings suggest that this is more prevalent as individuals are more insecure in relationships and/or carry certain personality characteristics. Simply because your partner used touch in a coercive way or withdrew from a hug does not therefore imply that they are a Machiavellian, psychopathic or narcissistic.”
“Finally, this is just one study on a relatively restricted group. It would be great if more research could be done on this relationship as well as the relationships between personality, attachment, and touch as a whole.
The study, “The dark side of touch: how attachment style impacts touch through dark triad personality traits,” was authored by Emily R. Ives, Bridget N. Jules, Samantha L. Anduze, Samantha Wagner, and Richard E. Mattson.
