New research indicates that individuals with high levels of narcissistic admiration often struggle to see their partners in a positive light. The findings, which have been published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, provide insight into how narcissistic personality traits influence perceptions of romantic partners.
Narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry are two distinct aspects of narcissism. Narcissistic admiration is characterized by a grandiose self-image and the desire to be admired, respected, and adored by others. On the other hand, narcissistic rivalry refers to the need for a narcissistic person to feel superior to others. They may feel a need to put down others or compete with them in order to maintain their sense of superiority.
The authors behind the current research sought to better understand how these two aspects of narcissism might influence the functioning of romantic relationships.
“I have long been interested in how accurately people perceive their romantic partners, but in recent years, I have become increasingly interested in how narcissism relates to the way people perceive their partners,” said study author Gwendolyn Seidman, a professor of psychology at Albright College.
“Most happy couples have positive biases when it comes to how they see their partners. However, narcissistic individuals, with their strong need to be superior to others, may be reluctant to elevate their partners. On the other hand, narcissistic individuals seek high-status and physically attractive partners that they can show off to others. So this creates somewhat of a dilemma for them.”
In two studies, the researchers examined how narcissism affects the way people see their partners in three different ways. The first way is called partner-enhancement, which means seeing your partner as better or more positive than yourself. The second way is called mean-level bias, which means seeing your partner as more positive than they see themselves. The third way is called tracking accuracy, which means accurately understanding how your partner compares to others in the study.
The first study included 252 people. There were 122 men and 130 women who participated. Their ages ranged from 21 to 41, with an average age of 30.29. When asked about their sexual orientation, most people identified as heterosexual, followed by bisexual and homosexual. A small number of people preferred not to answer.
On average, the participants had been in their current relationship for 6.09 years. The majority of participants were married or living together, but some were in committed relationships without living together or casually dating.
The participants completed demographic questions and rated both themselves and their partner on a series of desirable partner characteristics (warmth/trustworthiness, attractiveness/vitality, and status/resources). They also completed an assessment of narcissistic personality traits.
The second study involved 75 couples. The participants were between the ages of 18 and 61, with an average age of 31.95. Almost all of the participants identified as heterosexual, with a small number identifying as bisexual or asexual.
On average, the couples had been together for 6.71 years. Most couples were married or seriously dating, with some engaged or casually dating. Most non-married couples reported that they lived together. Both members of each couple completed an online survey separately, using a secure website.
In both studies, the researchers found that narcissistic admiration was associated with reduced levels of partner enhancement. Narcissistic rivalry, on the other hand, had inconsistent associations with partner-enhancement.
“Individuals who are high in narcissistic admiration, an aspect of narcissism that involves admiration-seeking and self-promotion, tend to see themselves as superior to their partners on physical attractiveness and status. This is in contrast to those who are low in narcissism, who usually see their partners as superior to themselves in these areas,” Seidman told PsyPost.
“Individuals who are high in narcissistic rivalry, a more hostile and antagonistic aspect of narcissism that involves putting others down, were actually more accurate in their perceptions of their partners’ physical attractiveness than those low in this trait. Again, people typically have positive biases when it comes to perceptions of how attractive their partners are.”
“Another interesting finding from the study was that those high in narcissistic admiration tended to have partners who perceived them as especially physically attractive and high-status. Thus, they were able to find partners who admired them in the areas they care about most,” Seidman said.
Neither aspect of narcissism was associated with mean-level bias or tracking accuracy, with one exception: Those high in narcissistic rivalry tended to show less mean-level bias and greater tracking accuracy in judgments regarding their partners’ attractiveness/vitality.
“I was surprised that narcissism was not related to downgrading partners or having negative biases about their qualities, but rather, it was related to a lack of positive biases,” Seidman said.
The study highlights the importance of examining the effects of narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry separately. But like all research, it includes some limitations.
The study mostly included heterosexual couples, so it’s not clear how well the results apply to same-sex couples. In addition, the participants were mostly from the United States, which is a country that values individualism, and were also relatively young. Lastly, the study was cross-sectional, so the researchers could not observe how partner perceptions and self-perceptions changed over time. Future research could investigate these changes over time and how narcissistic individuals’ relationships start well but end poorly.
“This research didn’t examine how these partner perceptions change over time,” Seidman said. “The sample of couples in the second study was rather small, so smaller effects were unlikely to achieve statistical significance. The study examined levels of narcissistic traits in a typical, non-clinical sample. Individuals vary in how narcissistic they are, and these traits exist on a continuum.”
The study, “Narcissistic Admiration and Narcissistic Rivalry: Associations With Accuracy and Bias in Perceptions of Romantic Partners“, was authored by Gwendolyn Seidman, Virgil Zeigler-Hill, and Masumi Iida.
