Obsession with money linked to poorer communication and lower marital satisfaction

A new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships has found that couples who are overly focused on money tend to communicate less effectively about finances and are less satisfied in their marriages. However, couples who share similar money-related beliefs—known as “money scripts”—tend to have better financial communication, which may benefit their relationship overall. The findings suggest that aligning financial attitudes and keeping money in perspective may help couples maintain a healthier and happier marriage.

While previous studies have linked money scripts to individual financial outcomes, little was known about how these beliefs affect romantic relationships. Because money is often a source of conflict in marriage and closely tied to personal values, the researchers aimed to understand whether certain money scripts—and the extent to which couples agree on them—relate to marital satisfaction. They were also interested in whether financial communication played a role in explaining these associations.

The study builds on the Couples and Finances Theory, which suggests that individuals bring financial attitudes into their relationships, and these attitudes influence both financial behavior and relationship quality. The researchers wanted to see whether money scripts—beliefs often developed in childhood—could explain differences in how couples talk about money and how satisfied they are in their relationships. They also aimed to test whether the level of similarity between spouses’ money scripts made a difference.

“We know from previous research that money scripts are associated with financial wellbeing. Many clinicians like financial therapists and financial planners incorporate money scripts into their practice, helping individuals and couples be aware of and sometimes change their money scripts in order to improve financial wellbeing, mental health, and marital wellbeing,” said study author Ashley LeBaron-Black, an assistant professor at Brigham Young University and author of Flourishing and Floundering Financially in Emerging Adulthood: A Handbook.

“However, despite many clinicians using money scripts with couples to increase marital wellbeing, no study had actually tested whether money scripts are associated with marital outcomes. My co-authors and I were excited to conduct the first study on the relational outcomes of money scripts, and the first to collect dyadic data (from both spouses) of money scripts.”

The researchers analyzed data from 1,153 mixed-gender couples who had been married for about eight years. The participants were part of a larger project called the CREATE study, which tracks the experiences of married couples in the United States over time. Both partners in each couple completed a detailed survey that assessed their beliefs about money, how they communicated with each other about finances, and how satisfied they were in their relationship.

Participants were asked to rate their agreement with statements that reflected four different money scripts: money avoidance (seeing money as negative or morally suspect), money focus (believing money brings happiness and wanting more of it), money status (linking money to self-worth and social standing), and money privacy (believing finances should be kept secret or private). The researchers then calculated three indicators for each couple: their average level on each script, how similar the two partners were in their overall pattern of money beliefs, and how far apart they were on each specific script.

In addition to assessing money beliefs, the study measured financial communication with two questions: how often couples argued about money and how well they felt they communicated about it. Relationship satisfaction was measured using a widely accepted questionnaire that asked participants how content they were with their marriage overall.

The results showed that when both spouses strongly endorsed money focus beliefs—such as never feeling satisfied with what they have and believing money is the key to happiness—they tended to report poorer communication about finances. In turn, this lower quality of financial communication was linked to lower marital satisfaction for both husbands and wives. These findings suggest that obsessing over money can make it harder for couples to talk constructively about financial matters, which may negatively affect how happy they feel in their marriage.

“We found that couples who averaged high on the money focus script tended to have worse financial communication and therefore also lower marital satisfaction,” LeBaron-Black told PsyPost. “The money focus script is sometimes called ‘money worship,’ and it measures how much people believe that money buys happiness. People high on money focus tend to never be satisfied with what they have and always want more and more money. In other words, they are highly materialistic.”

“Other research I’ve conducted has found that people who are highly materialistic tend to have less satisfying marriages, so this finding about the money focus script made sense. The takeaway here is that focusing too much on money (especially to the point of obsession or never being satisfied) can negatively impact your relationships. Money focus can make it harder to have high-quality communication about money with your spouse and makes it more likely that you will be unhappy in your marriage. Couples should put money in its proper place and prioritize relationships–what actually matters in life–above money and possessions.”

The researchers also found that when couples had similar overall patterns of money beliefs—what the study calls “profile-based similarity”—they reported better communication about finances. However, similarity on specific money scripts, such as money status or money privacy, did not appear to make a difference. This suggests that being aligned in one’s general approach to money may support more productive financial conversations, even if couples don’t agree on every individual belief.

Another important finding was that financial communication was strongly related to relationship satisfaction for both husbands and wives. When spouses reported that they could talk about money openly and effectively, they were also more likely to feel satisfied in their relationship. This held true even when controlling for factors such as income, education, number of children, and working hours. These results highlight the importance of financial conversations in shaping how couples feel about each other.

“We found that profile-based similarity of money scripts between spouses was associated with better financial communication,” LeBaron-Black explained. “In other words, the more similar partners are in their deep-seated financial beliefs, orientations, and values, the better they tend to talk about money together. Unmarried people can include compatibility of money scripts as one important factor to consider in choosing a partner.”

“Married couples who struggle with financial communication and/or experience high conflict around money can consider whether different money scripts, possibly inherited from childhood experiences within families of origin, might be the root of their conflict. Many disagreements or frustrations with each other about money may not be about the actual dollars and cents or surface-level considerations but rather may be about a discrepancy in those deep-seated financial beliefs, orientations, and values.”

“Awareness of their own and their partner’s money scripts may help married people create better understanding, cooperation, compromise, and common ground around finances — or at least better understand what they’re actually fighting about,” LeBaron-Black said.

The study did not find significant gender differences in how money scripts were related to communication or satisfaction. Both men and women appeared to be similarly affected by their own and their partner’s financial beliefs and communication patterns.

The researchers noted some caveats. Because the data were collected at a single point in time, it is not possible to determine whether money beliefs cause poor communication and dissatisfaction, or whether unhappy couples become more focused on money. Longitudinal research would be needed to track how these patterns evolve over time. Also, the study focused only on mixed-gender, married couples who had been together for about eight years.

The study, “Happily ever affluence: Dyadic analysis of money scripts, financial communication, and relationship satisfaction,” was authored by Ashley B. LeBaron-Black, Xiaomin Li, Melissa J. Wilmarth, Sofia C. Suxo-Sanchez, Kristy L. Archuleta, Jeremy B. Yorgason, and Dexia Kong.