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Most dating-app users strongly disapprove of people lying about their gender, appearance or age, but deception about weight receives considerably more tolerance, according to research published in Behaviour & Information Technology. Greater acceptance of some lies was also associated with psychopathic personality traits and, to a lesser extent, gender and education.
Research suggests that men and women may misrepresent different characteristics when seeking partners: men are reportedly more likely to exaggerate their status, resources or height, while women may be more likely to misrepresent their weight or appearance.
Such deception is not always equivalent to catfishing or romance fraud, but it may still damage trust. Discovering that a prospective partner has misrepresented themselves can reduce the likelihood that a first date develops into a relationship. Nevertheless, relatively little research has examined which dating-app deceptions people consider unacceptable and whether personality influences these judgments.
Olga Bogolyubova, originally affiliated with the University of Malta when the study was conducted, surveyed 796 current or former dating-app users. Participants were aged 18 to 67, with an average age of 27.96. The sample included 393 men, 392 women, eight people who selected another gender category and three who did not report their gender.
Participants read six hypothetical dating-app scenarios. These described people lying about their age, gender, appearance, weight, socioeconomic status or relationship status. Examples included using a model’s photograph, claiming to be single while married and posing as another gender for entertainment. Each participant randomly received male or female versions of the scenarios.
They rated each behavior on a seven-point scale ranging from “entirely unacceptable” to “entirely acceptable.” Participants also completed a questionnaire measuring four dark personality traits: psychopathy, narcissism, Machiavellianism and sadism.
These four characteristics collectively make up what psychologists refer to as the “Dark Tetrad.” Narcissism is generally characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a feeling of entitlement, and a deep need for admiration. Machiavellianism involves a cynical, manipulative, and highly strategic approach to social interactions, where individuals prioritize their own interests and calculate how to use others to their advantage.
Psychopathy typically manifests as high impulsivity, thrill-seeking, callousness, and a pronounced lack of empathy for others. Finally, sadism refers to the tendency to derive enjoyment, amusement, or satisfaction from inflicting physical or psychological distress on others.
The nature of the lie made a substantial difference in how participants reacted. Deception about gender was strongly rejected by 93.1% of participants, followed by appearance at 90.6%, age at 81.6%, relationship status at 78.5% and socioeconomic status at 71%.
Only 37.7% strongly rejected the weight deception. In that scenario, a person understated their weight by 40 pounds—approximately 18 kilograms—and avoided posting full-body photographs. Bogolyubova suggested that this difference may have appeared relatively moderate to participants and therefore less serious than using an entirely different person’s photograph or concealing a marriage.
Psychopathy was the most consistent personality factor. Higher scores predicted a greater likelihood of not strongly rejecting deception about gender and relationship status. Among participants who did not already classify deception as unacceptable, higher psychopathy was also associated with greater acceptance of lies concerning age, appearance and relationship status. Notably, the study assessed personality characteristics along a continuum; it did not diagnose participants as “psychopaths.”
As Bogolyubova concluded, “psychopathy emerged as the most consistent individual difference associated with tolerance for deception in online dating.”
Gender differences were also present. Men were less likely than women to strongly reject deception involving age, socioeconomic status and relationship status. Women judged lies about age and relationship status less harshly when the person engaging in the deception was female. However, the size of these differences was small, meaning gender provided only limited information about an individual’s response.
Additionally, lower educational attainment predicted greater acceptance of age and appearance deception among participants who did not strongly reject those behaviors.
Some limitations are to be noted. The study utilized a convenience sample, self-reported attitudes and hypothetical scenarios that had not been independently validated. Some personality measures were also less reliable than desirable, and attitudes do not necessarily predict behavior.
The study, “Perceptions of deceptive self-presentation in online dating: unacceptable or not? The role of gender and dark personality traits,” was authored by Olga Bogolyubova.