Romantic relationships can help men recognize sexism, new research finds

Men in romantic relationships with women are more likely to recognize sexism when their partner shares a personal experience of discrimination, according to new research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science. The study found that men were more likely to empathize with their partner, identify the situation as discriminatory, and express greater overall awareness of sexism and commitment to gender equality when they actively took their partner’s perspective.

The research, led by Emily J. Cross of York University in Canada, sheds light on how romantic relationships might serve as a unique environment for fostering men’s awareness of gender discrimination. While traditional efforts to reduce sexism often fall short, especially when targeting men, this study suggests that hearing directly from a romantic partner about sexism may be a promising avenue for increasing understanding and reducing gender-biased attitudes.

“We were interested in whether romantic relationships could serve as a meaningful context for raising men’s awareness of sexism. Research shows that men, on average, are less likely than women to recognize gender discrimination or understand its impact—perhaps because conversations about sexism can feel accusatory, prompting defensiveness or disengagement,” explained Cross, a senior research associate.

“At the same time, perspective-taking—imagining how an experience might feel from someone else’s point of view—has been shown to reduce intergroup prejudice and discrimination. We figured romantic relationships might offer a unique opportunity: partners are often attuned to each other’s emotions, and what affects one usually matters to the other.”

“That kind of closeness could give men a powerful reason to better understand what their partner is going through. So we asked: could that intimacy motivate men to take their partner’s perspective—and in doing so, help them recognize sexism not as isolated moments, but as part of a broader pattern of gender-based inequality?”

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To investigate this, the researchers conducted two studies with heterosexual men who had been in romantic relationships with women for at least a year. In the first study, 576 participants recruited online were randomly assigned to read a scenario about gender discrimination in the workplace.

The woman in the scenario was described as either the man’s romantic partner, a close friend, or a stranger. All participants read that the woman had learned that a male colleague with similar qualifications was earning 25% more than her. She suspected the pay gap was due to her being a woman and expressed frustration and uncertainty about what to do.

After reading the scenario, participants were asked how much they could put themselves in the woman’s shoes, how sexist they perceived the situation to be, and how aware they were of sexism more generally. They also completed surveys measuring their broader attitudes about gender, including modern sexist beliefs (such as denying that sexism still exists) and protective paternalism (the belief that men should shield and provide for women).

The results showed that men were more likely to engage in perspective-taking when the woman in the scenario was described as their romantic partner. Men in this condition also rated the situation as more sexist compared to those who read about a friend or a stranger. These effects remained even when accounting for participants’ general levels of empathy, relationship quality, and existing sexist beliefs.

However, simply imagining a partner experiencing sexism did not directly lead to broader changes in gender attitudes or increased awareness of discrimination against women in general. But when researchers analyzed indirect pathways, they found that perspective-taking increased the likelihood of perceiving the situation as sexist, which in turn predicted greater general awareness and lower modern sexism scores.

The second study was designed to test whether similar patterns emerged when men recalled real experiences with their partners rather than imagined scenarios. The researchers surveyed 570 men, of whom 432 reported that their romantic partner had previously shared a personal experience of gender discrimination. These included examples like being passed over for a promotion, receiving unwanted sexual attention, or hearing sexist jokes.

Participants were asked to describe the incident and then answer questions about how much they took their partner’s perspective, whether they viewed the situation as discriminatory, and how aware they were of sexism in society. They also answered questions about how often they believed their partner experienced discrimination and whether they had taken actions to support gender equality—such as learning more about women’s issues or confronting sexism when they witnessed it.

As predicted, men who reported greater perspective-taking during their partner’s disclosure were more likely to view the situation as sexist. This recognition was, in turn, associated with greater awareness of how often women—and their partner specifically—experience discrimination. It also predicted higher levels of allyship behaviors, including a stronger commitment to confronting gender bias.

Importantly, these effects held even when controlling for participants’ existing beliefs about gender roles and other factors. This suggests that the relational context itself plays a powerful role in shaping how men respond to discussions about sexism.

“We were struck by how consistent the perspective-taking effect was,” Cross told PsyPost. “These effects emerged regardless of how close men felt to their partner, how satisfied they were in the relationship, or their pre-existing views on gender equality. What really made the difference was the act of taking their partner’s perspective—actively imagining how the situation felt for her when she described an experience of sexism.”

The findings highlight how romantic relationships can create opportunities for men to become more aware of sexism by prompting them to empathize with someone they care deeply about. When men are personally connected to someone affected by discrimination, they may be more open to recognizing it and questioning their own assumptions.

“Men were more likely to recognize sexism when it affected their women romantic partner (vs woman friend or stranger),” Cross said. “This recognition also spilled over to their broader beliefs — men were more aware of gender discrimination in general and were less likely to agree with subtle, everyday beliefs that downplay or dismiss sexism.”

But the study, like all research, includes some caveats.

“Our studies specifically focused on man–woman relationships, so we didn’t test whether the same dynamics would apply in other types of relationships,” Cross noted. “And while perspective-taking can be a powerful tool for building awareness, it’s not enough on its own—lasting progress requires systemic changes and collective efforts to challenge gender inequality.”

The researchers suggest future studies could examine how similar dynamics play out in other close relationships, such as between siblings or parents and children, and whether interventions like high-quality listening training might help men better engage with stories of discrimination. Longitudinal research could also help clarify whether perspective-taking leads to increased awareness over time, or whether more awareness makes men more likely to empathize in the first place.

“We’re interested in exploring how men respond to a broader range of disclosures from women—ranging from subtle forms of sexism to more overt discrimination—and what kinds of partner responses women actually want and find supportive,” Cross said. “We’re also studying how these conversations play out in real time, including what fosters meaningful engagement versus what triggers defensiveness or withdrawal.”

“One key takeaway is that man–woman romantic relationships can provide a powerful context for raising men’s awareness of sexism and gender discrimination,” she added. “When men are willing to listen and genuinely engage with their partner’s experiences, they may begin to see sexism not just as a distant or abstract issue, but as something that affects the women they care about—and recognize it as part of a broader, structural problem that demands attention.”

The study, “Leveraging Man−Woman Romantic Relationships to Promote Men’s Awareness of Sexism and Gender Discrimination,” was authored by Emily. J. Cross, Alyssa DeBlaere, and Amy Muise.