There’s that great bit in Annie Hall when Annie and Alvy Singer are shown in splitscreen at their respective therapists’ offices. In response to their shrinks asking how often they have sex, Annie says, “Constantly. I’d say three times a week,” while Alvy laments: “Hardly ever, like three times a week.” It’s a funny scene for a few reasons, but most of all because it skewers the argument over the frequency with which people should engage in carnal delight. But perhaps there’s a metric to consider other than frequency: timing.
The Telegraph enlisted Paul Kelley, a clinical research associate at Oxford University’s Sleep and Circadian Neuroscience Institute, to explain how couples in different age groups should set their coitus clocks.
Why would age matter for scheduling sex? Because, as our circadian rhythms shift over the years, so too do the times of day when we’re most alert, sedate and primed for passion.
Libidos of the young and spry can fire up at any point in the day, their energy levels spike during those post-lunch hours so those in their twenties should set their sex alarms for 3 p.m. The reason: In young adults, Kelley told the Telegraph, a neurotransmitter involved in inducing alertness, orexin, doesn’t overpower melatonin, the hormone at the helm of sleep-schedule regulation, until mid-morning. So, regardless of when the post-college set wakes up, they may not truly “wake up” until they’ve been out of bed for a bit.
Couples in their thirties, however, should get it on at 8:20 a.m. As Kelley explains, sunlight revvs up testosterone in both men and women by stimulating the hypothalamus.
For (early) middle-agers, it’s best for the mood to strike before turning in, around 10:20 p.m. Sex sparks the release of oxytocin, the “love” hormone, which can promote rest. Forty-somethings, according to Kelley, should aim to hit the sack before midnight, and rise at 7:50, when they’ll feel more naturally alert than younger adults.
Fifty-somethings only need to tweak their sexing schedule slightly, as Kelley recommends getting after it even closer to bedtime. Sex: 10 p.m. → Sleep: 10:30 p.m. Also, these true middle-agers should indulge in any alcohol early in the evening, to give slowed-down livers time to break down the libido lubricants.
Golden-agers should sync up with the air time of NCIS, and shoot for sex-having around 8 p.m. Older people naturally adopt an early-to-bed, early-to-rise schedule, and should try to fit in sex without disrupting their biological rewind.
As for the amount? Well that, as always, remains up for debate.
This article originally published by Van Winkle’s, vanwinkles.com, the editorial division of Casper Sleep