Securely attached individuals are more likely to engage in BDSM

A survey in Belgium found that individuals who engage in BDSM tend to report lower levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety. Those with more secure emotional attachment were more likely to act on their BDSM interests. The study was published in Psychology & Sexuality.

BDSM is an umbrella term encompassing sexual and roleplay activities that may involve restraint, rules, power exchange, or consensual giving and receiving of pain. It includes both physical acts, such as tying or spanking, and psychological dynamics, such as dominance and submission. Some participants adopt fixed roles—always dominant or always submissive—while others prefer to switch depending on the context.

A core principle of BDSM is that all participants consent to the activities in advance and understand each other’s limits. Safety practices—such as safe words, knowledge of techniques, and aftercare—are commonly used to protect participants’ well-being. These experiences can be sexual, emotional, or both, depending on the individuals involved. BDSM is not inherently linked to mental illness; rather, it represents one of many ways consenting adults explore intimacy and sexuality.

Study author Els Tierens and colleagues aimed to investigate whether individuals with an interest in BDSM differ from non-BDSM participants in their emotional attachment styles. They also examined whether these differences varied across BDSM role identities—dominant, submissive, or switch—and how attachment patterns were associated with the frequency of BDSM fantasies and practices.

Attachment in adults is typically described along two dimensions: attachment anxiety (fear of rejection and abandonment) and attachment avoidance (discomfort with closeness and reliance on others). Different combinations of these traits are often used to describe four general patterns:

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• Secure (low anxiety, low avoidance)
• Anxious-preoccupied (high anxiety, low avoidance)
• Dismissive-avoidant (low anxiety, high avoidance)
• Fearful-avoidant (high anxiety, high avoidance)

The study included 263 BDSM-interested individuals recruited through FetLife, a large BDSM-oriented social networking platform, and 300 control participants from the general Belgian population recruited via the market research agency Bilendi. Participants ranged in age from 18 to 71, with an average age of around 41 to 43 years. Roughly half identified as women.

Participants in the BDSM group completed a shortened version of a validated BDSM questionnaire, measuring their engagement with four categories: submissive fantasies, dominant fantasies, submissive practices, and dominant practices. All participants also completed the Experiences in Close Relationships (ECR) scale, which measures attachment anxiety and avoidance on continuous scales.

Among BDSM participants, 25% identified primarily with a dominant role, 46% with a submissive role, and 29% as switches. On average, the BDSM group scored significantly lower than the control group on both attachment anxiety and avoidance, suggesting they were more securely attached. However, the effect sizes were small.

Importantly, while attachment style was not strongly associated with having BDSM fantasies, individuals with lower insecure attachment—particularly lower avoidance—were more likely to report actively engaging in BDSM behaviors, whether dominant or submissive.

“These results suggest that lower levels of insecure attachment are related to the tendency to put BDSM fantasies into practice,” study authors concluded.

The results are in line with another recent study, published in the Journal of Homosexuality, which found that BDSM practitioners—especially those who identify as dominants—tend to have more secure attachment styles, lower rejection sensitivity, and higher psychological well-being than non-practitioners. These findings challenge the lingering stigma that links BDSM with emotional dysfunction or psychopathology.

However, there are some limitations. All data were collected through self-report surveys, which may be affected by response bias. The BDSM group was recruited from a specific online platform, potentially excluding individuals who practice BDSM privately or who are less open about their interests. In addition, the control group was screened to exclude anyone who reported even occasional BDSM interests, which may have created a particularly conservative comparison sample.

The paper, “Associations of BDSM fantasies and practices with insecure attachment styles,” was authored by Els Tierens, Violette Coppens, Ilona De Zeeuw, Elise Wuyts, Kris Goethals, Laurence Claes, and Manuel Morrens.