A new review published in Sexes proposes that sexual shame reduces sexual arousal and desire, leading to poorer sexual functioning. Sexual shame itself is determined by a multitude of biological, psychological, and cultural factors.
Sexual difficulties affect many women worldwide. Some studies indicate that between 30% and 50% of women report problems with sexual functioning. These problems include reduced desire and arousal, difficulties in experiencing orgasm (or an inability to experience it), and pain. The number of women experiencing these difficulties is probably even greater than studies report due to the social stigma associated with acknowledging and reporting sexual issues.
Many factors can lead to sexual difficulties in women, and sexual shame is one of them. Sexual shame is a deeply internalized feeling of guilt, embarrassment, or discomfort related to one’s sexuality. It is typically shaped by cultural, religious, or societal norms. In women, it can manifest as a negative body image, difficulty discussing sexual desires, or avoidance of sexual experiences due to a fear of judgment.
Some women experience guilt after sexual activity, even in consensual or committed relationships, due to learned beliefs that sex is inappropriate or “wrong.” Sexual shame can also lead to suppressed sexual desire, anxiety about intimacy, or dissociation during sexual encounters. Women with high levels of sexual shame tend to struggle with asserting boundaries or communicating their needs, fearing rejection or criticism. Over time, this can impact self-esteem, emotional well-being, and the ability to form healthy, fulfilling relationships.
Researchers Camilla Graziani and Meredith L. Chivers reviewed the existing literature on the role of sexual shame in women’s sexual difficulties and proposed a theoretical model describing the potential relationships among the factors involved. They based their review on published reviews, empirical studies, discussion and theoretical papers, and dissertations obtained through keyword searches on Google Scholar. The keywords they used included women, shame, sexual shame, sexual functioning, sexual dysfunction, arousal, desire, orgasm, and pain.
The authors define shame as a self-conscious emotion involving the global devaluation of the self. At its core, shame attacks an individual’s desire to be loved, valued, and seen as deserving and desirable. It stems from real or perceived negative evaluations by others. Sexual shame overlaps with this general concept of shame in that it is “a visceral feeling of disgust and self-abasement directed toward one’s physical body, sexual being, and identity, and includes beliefs and feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, and helplessness, resulting in perceiving the self as flawed and defective.”
The researchers then identified a list of factors that contribute to the experience of sexual shame in women. These factors include sociocultural messages about women’s sexuality, body image, genital self-image, sexual self-schemas, sexual pain, chronic diseases and illnesses, sexual trauma, experiences of childhood sexual abuse and adult sexual violence, and posttraumatic stress disorder.
Sociocultural messages about women’s sexuality, rooted in religious, familial, and media narratives, shape expectations that can make women feel ashamed of their sexual desires or behaviors. The authors discuss how these messages shape women’s internalized sexual norms, leading to shame when their desires or behaviors deviate from societal expectations. Body image, or how a woman perceives her physical appearance, influences sexual confidence. When this body image is negative, it can lead to feelings of shame and discomfort during intimacy, and even to the avoidance of sexual experiences.
Similarly, genital self-image concerns (a woman’s perception of the appearance and function of her genitals) can contribute to shame when societal beauty standards or misinformation about “normal” anatomy create self-doubt. Women’s sexual self-schemas (cognitive representations of one’s own sexuality) influence the ability to feel desire and engage in fulfilling sexual activities, with negative schemas reinforcing shame.
Chronic sexual pain disorders, such as dyspareunia and vaginismus, can lead to shame by making women feel inadequate or fearful of being unable to meet perceived sexual expectations. Additionally, chronic illnesses like diabetes and endometriosis can disrupt sexual function, and the resulting difficulties may heighten feelings of shame and a loss of sexual identity.
Women who have experienced sexual trauma may internalize shame, associating sexual activity with guilt, fear, and distress. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse sometimes struggle with shame-related cognitive distortions, which can impair their ability to form healthy sexual relationships. Adult sexual violence can lead to persistent sexual shame, particularly when victims face societal stigma or internalize self-blame for the assault. Finally, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, such as hypervigilance and avoidance, further reinforce sexual shame by making intimacy feel unsafe or emotionally distressing.
In turn, sexual shame reduces sexual arousal and desire, leading to poorer sexual functioning.
“This review brings attention to the powerful and negative impacts of sexual shame on women’s sexual functioning in the areas of arousal, desire, orgasm, and pain. Additionally, we present a model theorizing how sexual shame impacts affective and attentional processes in sexual functioning for women. Our synthesis of research to date identifies the complex and multifactorial biopsychosocial and interpersonal factors that contribute to sexual shame and the association between sexual shame and negative sexual functioning outcomes for women,” study authors concluded.
The paper proposes a comprehensive theoretical model of sexual shame and its role in female sexuality. However, it should be noted that this model is theoretical and derived from synthesizing existing research findings. Specific predictions of the model might require testing in empirical research.
The paper “Sexual Shame and Women’s Sexual Functioning” was authored by Camilla Graziani and Meredith L. Chivers.
