Single adults in early midlife often prefer cohabitation over marriage, study finds

A recent study reveals that unmarried adults in their thirties and forties hold highly diverse goals for future relationships, with cohabitation being more popular than marriage. The findings indicate that previous life events shape what people want for their future, challenging the idea of a universal relationship path. The research was published in the journal Family Transitions.

In the United States, roughly one in three adults between the ages of 30 and 49 live without a spouse or partner. As people delay milestones like first marriages and first births, a growing share of the population remains single into midlife. Currently, about one in five adults in their early forties have never married, and almost one in six women in their late forties do not have children.

Sociologists Susan L. Brown, Wendy D. Manning, and Karen Benjamin Guzzo of Bowling Green State University and the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill initiated the study to understand the long-term relationship and parenting goals of this expanding demographic. Past research on family planning has heavily focused on teenagers and young adults, who often express a desire to marry and have children.

Alternatively, researchers have studied older adults, who are frequently uninterested in reentering a formal union. Adults in early midlife occupy a unique transitional space because many have already experienced milestones like marriage, living with a partner, or having children.

The research team applied a sociological framework known as the life course perspective. This concept suggests that prior life events establish a foundation that guides an individual’s subsequent choices. For example, a person who has already navigated a divorce might view the prospect of a new marriage differently than someone who has never wed. A related concept highlights how family relationships influence personal decisions, such as single parents weighing their own desires for a romantic partner against the potential impact on their children.

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To explore these dynamics, the researchers analyzed data from the 2023 Singlehood in America survey. The dataset included 799 single adults between the ages of 30 and 50. In this context, single was defined as individuals who were neither married nor currently living with a romantic partner. The participants were drawn from a large, nationally representative online panel.

The sample featured roughly equal numbers of men and women with diverse educational backgrounds, income levels, and racial identities. Participants answered questions about whether they wanted to marry, live with a partner without marrying, remain unpartnered, or if they were unsure about their future relationship plans. They also indicated whether they wanted to have a child or additional children in the future.

The researchers used statistical models to evaluate how a person’s prior relationship history and parental status related to their future preferences. These models accounted for demographic factors like age, education, income, homeownership, and sexual identity. The analysis revealed a wide spectrum of relationship goals among single adults in early midlife.

Cohabitation emerged as the most desired relationship format, favored by roughly 38 percent of men and 29 percent of women. Marriage was less popular, desired by only 18 percent of men and 23 percent of women. At the same time, roughly a quarter of both men and women expressed no desire to live with or marry a partner in the future, and many others reported feeling unsure.

The researchers found that past experiences with cohabitation were associated with a desire to live with a partner again. People who had previously lived with a romantic partner were more likely to want to marry or cohabit in the future compared to those who had never lived with a partner. The researchers expected that individuals who had been married previously might be less eager to marry again. The results showed that prior marital experience had no negative association with a desire to marry.

Formerly married men were simply more likely to express uncertainty about their future relationship goals than men who had never married. The team also anticipated that having children might act as a deterrent to forming new residential unions. Being a parent had no measurable association with an individual’s desire to marry or live with a partner.

Current life circumstances also played a role in future planning. Women who had a college degree were much more likely to want to marry or cohabit than women with less formal education. Conversely, women who owned a home were more likely to express a firm lack of interest in forming a new residential union. For both men and women, those who had ended a live-in relationship within the past five years were more eager to cohabit in the future compared to those who had been single for six years or more.

The researchers then evaluated the participants’ desires to have children. Most single adults in early midlife did not want to have a child or additional children. Only about 20 percent of women and 17 percent of men expressed a desire to expand their families. This low percentage is likely due to the fact that approximately 80 percent of the study participants were already parents.

For women, earlier experiences with marriage, cohabitation, or parenthood were entirely unrelated to their future fertility desires. A woman’s desire to have a child was not tied to whether she was already a mother or whether she had been married. Women with higher incomes were slightly less likely to want a child in the future.

For men, the patterns were slightly different. Fathers were much less likely to want additional children compared to men without children. Men who had previously lived with a romantic partner were more likely to want a child in the future.

Age also influenced male preferences, with men in their early thirties being substantially more likely to want a child than men approaching age 50. Men with a college education were more likely to want a child, while men who owned their own homes were less likely to want to expand their families.

Because the survey data was collected at a single point in time, the research cannot determine whether these preferences will lead to actual marriages, cohabiting relationships, or births. The analysis only captures an association between past experiences and current desires. The survey also limited relationship preferences to living together or getting married.

This omits the possibility that some individuals might prefer long-term committed relationships where partners live in separate households. The dataset provided a snapshot of relationship history, but it did not capture the duration, quality, or specific timing of past marriages and cohabiting relationships. Future investigations could benefit from tracking individuals over time to see if their relationship goals shift as they age or if they meet a compatible partner. Researchers could also explore how unmeasured factors, such as the strength of a person’s friendships, might shape exactly what early midlife adults want from a future partner.

The study, “The Future Family Desires of Single Early Midlife Adults,” was authored by Susan L. Brown, Wendy D. Manning, and Karen Benjamin Guzzo.