A small study in the United Kingdom compared emotional intelligence, sexual self-efficacy, and subjective happiness of women who had same age male partners and women whose male partners were 7-10 years younger than them. The results indicated that women with younger male partners scored higher in all three aspects, suggesting that their romantic relationships might be more fulfilling. The research was published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy.
Traditional views on romantic relationships dictate that men should be of the same age or older than their female partners. This practice is associated with the idea that maturity and financial stability of the male partner are prerequisites for a romantic relationship. If the male partner cannot provide for his partner and the family, he is traditionally considered to be undeserving of having a relationship. On the other hand, the primary expectation for women is to be capable of childbearing, implying that they should be young and healthy. These expectations collectively lead to the prevailing norm that men should be older than their female counterparts.
In contrast to this, modern societies increasingly see romantic pairs in which the female partner is older than the male. The situation where there is a substantial age difference between romantic partners is referred to as age-hypogamy. Age-hypogamy relationships in general tend to raise eyebrows. However, while societies are relatively tolerant of relationships between older men and younger women, they tend to view women who date younger men much more critically.
Study authors Marilyn Thomas and her colleagues conducted this study to gain a deeper understanding of women who date significantly younger men, comparing them to women with partners of similar ages. They focused on evaluating these women’s sexual self-efficacy, emotional intelligence, and subjective happiness.
Sexual self-efficacy is the belief in one’s ability to effectively navigate and engage in sexual activities, contributing to sexual confidence and satisfaction. Emotional intelligence refers to the capacity to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions and the emotions of others, fostering better interpersonal relationships and communication. Subjective happiness is an individual’s personal perception of their own well-being and life satisfaction, which can vary from person to person and is not solely dependent on external factors. Studies have shown that individuals who exhibit these three traits tend to have more fulfilling romantic relationships.
The study involved 17 women in age-hypogamous relationships, i.e., with significantly younger male partners, and 7 women with same-age partners, aged between 25 and 57 years. The majority (12) were from the UK, primarily London, with others from the U.S., Belgium, and Germany.
Participants completed an online survey that included assessments of sexual self-efficacy (using the SSE questionnaire), emotional intelligence (through the Schutte Self Report E.I. Test), subjective happiness (via a 4-item instrument), and age-related dating preferences (using the “Cougar” Age Hypogamy and Age Homogamy Questionnaire, e.g., “Younger men are more sexually attractive to me than men in my age group or older”).
The results showed that women in relationships with younger men scored higher in all three evaluated psychological characteristics. They reported greater subjective happiness, enhanced emotional intelligence, and better sexual self-efficacy.
“We found that ‘Cougars’ [women dating substantially younger men] had higher scores among these measures than women in age-matched dating groups. Since [sexual self-efficacy, emotional intelligence, and subjective happiness] are associated with fulfilling intimate relationships, this study questions the preconceived notion that women in relationships with younger men are any less fulfilling or successful than those in similar relationships,” the study authors concluded.
The study makes an intriguing contribution to the scientific understanding of age-hypogamy relationships. However, it should be noted that the sample of this study was very small and consisted of women from very different countries. It is possible and quite likely that findings would not be the same in larger samples and those more representative of the general population.
The paper, “Age-hypogamy, emotional intelligence, sexual self-efficacy, and subjective happiness associations”, was authored by Marilyn Thomas, Samantha Banbury, Joanne Lusher, and Chris Chandler.
