It is well-studied that romantic partners are often similar, due to individuals being attracted to people who share beliefs, goals, and interests. Research has shown that partners tend to align their beliefs in short-term situations, such as over the course of a conversation, but do beliefs align more over a longer time frame? A study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science suggests that they do not.
Similarities are important in romantic relationships. It is generally understood that people gravitate towards others who have interests, beliefs, and opinions that align with their own. This leads to happier and longer-lasting romantic relationships. Successful romantic couples also tend to “merge” and create similarities between themselves by discussing and aligning themselves on topics or issues. This allows for more empathy and understanding between partners. As important as this can be for relationships, long-term convergence is not well-studied or understood as of now.
Hammond and Sibley recruited 171 mixed-gender New Zealand couples to participate in this study from an annual panel sample and analyzed data for them from 2015 to 2018. Participants ranged from 22 to 90 years old. Participants filled out questionnaires about well-being, political beliefs, environmental attitudes, personality traits, religious attitudes, and more once a year for four years in a row. Researchers sought to measure multiple types of convergence (catalytic, short-term, long-term) using this data.
The current research aimed to answer the question “do partners converge over time?” The answer seems to be no. Individuals showed change that was separate and distinct from their partners. Even factors that seem as if they would intuitively be very connected for a couple, such as relationship and life satisfaction, showed disconnect within the pairs. For some variables, such as satisfaction with the economy, couples even showed divergence, with one partner showing increased satisfaction while the other revealed decreased satisfaction. Despite these results, the data showed that even when couples do not converge, they share many similarities, which is consistent with previous research about relationships.
This study made strides on tracking convergence within couples by reviewing annual data four years in a row, but it still has some limitations. While results were stable when controlling for length of relationship, it may not generalize to newer relationships, as it is possible that convergence occurs as people fall in love. Future research could focus on convergence in new relationships and divergence in recently ended relationships to better understand how these mechanisms function. Additionally, results from New Zealander couples may not be generalizable to other countries, specifically cultures that are collectivist.
“Many theories propose that romantic partners’ convergence is fundamental to the formation and maintenance of their relationship,” the researchers said. “The current results challenge interpreting these theories as specifying that couples become more similar across time: People’s traits, wellbeing and beliefs followed trajectories that were disconnected from their partners.”
The study, “Romantic Partners Are Similar in Their Well-Being and Sociopolitical Attitudes but Change Independently Over Time“, was authored by Matthew D. Hammond and Chris G. Sibley.