In a new study published in Sex Roles, researchers have found evidence that parental acceptance of gender atypicality plays a crucial role in buffering social anxiety in younger children. This study, one of the first of its kind, offers significant insights into how children’s gender expression relates to their mental well-being.
The research, prompted by increasing societal awareness of gender atypicality, was designed to investigate the impact of gender expression on children’s social anxiety. Gender atypicality refers to how a person’s behavior, interests, or appearance align with or diverge from the cultural norms and expectations traditionally associated with their assigned gender at birth. For example, a boy engaging in activities or exhibiting behaviors that are culturally considered feminine (like wearing a dress) would be considered gender atypical.
Previous studies have primarily focused on older children and adolescents, often overlooking the experiences of younger children. This gap in research led the team to explore how varying degrees of gender typicality and parental acceptance affect children’s mental health across different childhood stages.
“My coauthors and I share a common interest in parental socialization and children’s gender development,” said study author Sonya Xinyue Xiao, an assistant professor at Northern Arizona University. “In particular, we were interested in the role parents plays when it comes to gender expansive children, many of whom experience challenging social lives with peers due to peer victimization, stigmatization, and exclusion. Notably, the children we study did not necessarily identify as a gender and/or sexual minority, rather, these are children from a community sample who vary in how stereotypically they express and experience gender.”
Conducted over a two-year period, the study involved 626 children from eight elementary schools in a large Southwestern city in the United States. The participants, including 209 kindergarteners, 206 second graders, and 206 fourth graders, were a diverse group, representing various ethnic backgrounds. Parents of these children also participated, providing valuable insights into family dynamics and attitudes.
Children were asked to rate their perceived similarity to boys and girls using a specially designed measure, which captured a spectrum of gender expression. This approach allowed the researchers to assess not just how children felt about their own gender but also how they related to the opposite gender. Teachers contributed by reporting on the children’s social anxiety.
In parallel, parents completed a questionnaire focusing on their acceptance of gender atypical characteristics in children, allowing researchers to gauge the level of support these children received at home (e.g. “How acceptable would it be to you if you had a daughter who had a stereotypically masculine personality?”, “How acceptable would it be to you if you had a son who had stereotypically feminine mannerisms?”).
Contrary to what might be expected, the researchers found that a child’s own sense of gender typicality (how similar they felt to their own gender) was not directly related to their social anxiety. More significantly, the study revealed that parental acceptance had a notable impact, especially for younger children. For kindergarteners, high levels of parental acceptance were linked to lower levels of social anxiety related to feeling similar to the other gender. This pattern was also observed in second graders but not in fourth graders, suggesting that the influence of parental acceptance may diminish as children grow older.
“The protective role of parental acceptance was only observed with kindergartners and 2nd graders, but not 4th graders in the sample,” Xiao told PsyPost. “This was surprising because prior research on this topic showing the importance of parental acceptance has focused on older children and adolescents.”
Additionally, the study found that parental acceptance appeared to be more protective for girls than for boys. This unexpected finding points to potential differences in how gender nonconformity is perceived and accepted for different genders.
“Parents’ acceptance of gender atypicality matters – this includes parent being accepting about their children’s gender atypicality across several domains including their children’s personality, activities and interest, mannerisms, and the way they dress,” Xiao said. “Although generally children who are considered gender atypical (perhaps by being/feeling more similar to other-gender peers, and/or less similar to same-gender peers) are at risk for social anxiety, the degree of their parents’ acceptance of gender atypicality influences whether and how much children expressed social anxiety.”
The study underscores the importance of parental acceptance in shaping children’s mental well-being. But, like all research, includes some caveats.
“One major caveat is that parents in the sample were generally pretty accepting,” Xiao noted. “More research needs to be done with parents who show more variability in acceptance. Also, we examined how accepting the parent is of children who are the same gender as their child, rather than focusing on their reported acceptance of that specific child.”
Additionally, “the measure we used varied depending on age groups and that requires further study: We used a novel measure to assess children’s gender typicality – how similar they felt to same- and other-gender peers across many domains of gender including children’s overall similarity (global), how similar they dress, act, and enjoy playing with these peers. However, the youngest participants – the kindergartners – answered only global questions about their similarity to same-gender peers and their similarity to other-gender peers.”
Notably, the researchers examined gender atypicality — not gender identity. Gender atypicality is about how one’s gender expression aligns with societal norms and expectations, while gender identity is about one’s internal sense of their own gender, irrespective of societal norms. The two can intersect but do not necessarily correlate directly — for instance, a person may identify strongly with their assigned gender (gender identity) but still engage in behavior that is considered atypical for that gender (like a boy playing with dolls).
“When it comes to gender expansiveness, many people may think of youth who identify as gender and sexual minorities such as transgender or gay youth,” Xiao told PsyPost. “It is important to note that even among cisgender individuals, they vary in gender typicality meaning that not everyone feels or acts stereotypically. Our team has repeatedly found this across students from many different public schools. We believe that research on children in the community – those who experience differing levels of typicality – is relevant to the wellbeing of children and their families.”
The study, “Parents Matter: Accepting Parents Have Less Anxious Gender Expansive Children“, was authored by Sonya Xinyue Xiao, Aubrey L. Hoffer, Renee L. Benoit, Stephan Scrofani, and Carol Lynn Martin.
