A study in the Netherlands looked at older divorced parents and found that those who had little or no contact with their adult children had lower levels of well-being. This means they were less satisfied with their lives, felt lonelier, and were less healthy compared to divorced parents who had regular contact with their adult children. However, the study also discovered that divorced parents who had a new partner were not as strongly affected by the lack of contact with their children. The research was published in Demographic Research.
In the 20th century, divorce rates were relatively low in many countries, but they started to rise during the mid-20th century in the United States and Europe. This increase was linked to changing social attitudes, economic factors, and legal reforms that made divorce easier to obtain. The divorce rates in the United States peaked in the 1970s and 1980s but have been declining since then. In Europe, the trend has varied across countries, but overall, divorce rates are much higher now than they were a century ago.
This rise in divorce rates means that many more parents now live separated from their children. After divorce, children most often reside with their mother and experience declining contact and closeness with their father. The conflict associated with divorce often spreads to children and there is evidence that these adverse psychological consequences of parental divorce carry over into children’s adulthood.
In his new study, University of Amsterdam sociology professor Matthijs Kalmijn examined how the amount of contact between divorced parents and their adult children affects the well-being of the parents. He wanted to see if parents who rarely see their children experience more mental health problems than parents who have regular contact with their children. The study focused on the parents’ health, life satisfaction, and feelings of loneliness.
The data for the study came from a survey of Parents and Children in the Netherlands, which included information from individuals aged 25 to 45 whose parents had divorced during their youth. The data collection took place through an online survey in the first half of 2017.
The participants in the study were 4641 individuals between 50 and 86 years old, with an average age of 62, who had children from a previous divorced or separated relationship. Their children were between 21 and 62 years old at the time of the survey, with an average age of 34.
The participants completed assessments about their life satisfaction, loneliness, and self-rated health. The researchers also asked two children from each participant’s previous marriage or union about how often they had contact with each of their parents (face to face or by telephone). The answers were grouped into four categories: weekly or more, monthly or every other month, less often, and never.
The results showed that among divorced fathers, 12% had no contact with their child, and 6% saw their child less often than once every two months. These low contact frequencies were much less common among married fathers, with only 1.5% falling into these two contact categories combined. Low or no contact with children was also present among divorced mothers – 7% of divorced mothers never had contact with their oldest child, and 5% had infrequent contacts.
Both divorced mothers and divorced fathers who had little or no contact with their children had lower life satisfaction than divorced mothers and fathers who had regular contact. Parents who had little or no contact with their children were lonelier than those who had regular contact. These parents also rated themselves as less healthy, but these associations were weaker than with life satisfaction and loneliness.
The study also found that parents whose children reported more intense conflict between the parents during their marriage tended to feel lonelier. However, the intensity of the conflict was not associated with the parents’ life satisfaction or self-rated health. Additionally, divorced parents who were single had lower levels of well-being compared to divorced parents with a new partner. Having a new partner seemed to lessen the negative impact of the lack of contact with children from the previous marriage or union.
“Older divorced parents who had little or no contact with their children had lower well-being than divorced parents who had regular contact with their children,” Kalmijn concluded. “This was true for all three well-being indicators, but the associations were strongest for social wellbeing (loneliness). The associations were not limited to fathers but were also present for mothers. Since the prevalence of low contact was smaller for mothers, however, the overall impact on well-being was larger for fathers.”
“There was some evidence for ‘dose effects,’ with further reduced well-being when there was little contact with two children rather than just one child. Moreover, the association between well-being and losing contact was less negative when divorced parents had a (new) partner, suggesting that a partner compensates for losing ties to children.”
The study sheds light on the importance of contact with their children for the well-being of older adults. However, it also has limitations that need to be taken into account. Notably, the study design does not allow any cause-and-effect conclusions to be made. It also does not look into the reasons or factors determining the amount of contact between children and parents.
The paper, “Weakened parent–child ties and the well-being of older divorced parents”, was authored by Matthijs Kalmijn.
