Feeling objectified by partner linked to fewer orgasms and more emotional labor for women

Women in heterosexual relationships often experience lower orgasm rates and a greater burden of sexual emotional labor compared to men. A new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that women’s perception of being objectified by their male partner plays a key role in these disparities.

The study was motivated by the well-documented phenomenon of the “orgasm gap,” which refers to the fact that men orgasm more frequently than women during heterosexual encounters. Biological explanations for this gap have been challenged, with researchers increasingly focusing on social and cultural factors.

Objectification theory provides one potential explanation, suggesting that women are often treated as objects valued for their appearance and sexual utility rather than as full individuals. This treatment can lead women to self-objectify, meaning they adopt an external perspective on their own bodies, monitoring how they appear to others rather than focusing on their own physical sensations.

Previous research has linked self-objectification to sexual dysfunction, but the new study aimed to examine whether objectification within a romantic relationship—both as perceived by women and self-reported by men—contributes to the orgasm gap and women’s engagement in sexual emotional labor.

“Women are often viewed as objects for others’ pleasure, particularly by men, and this idea is recognized in social psychology (such as in objectification theory),” said study authors Katie Read and Verena Klein, a PhD student and an associate professor at the University of Southampton, respectively.

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“Women also face challenges when it comes to enjoying sex, such as having lower rates of orgasm and a higher burden of performing sexual emotional labor. This emotional labor might include pretending to have an orgasm, showing desire for their partner even when women don’t feel it, or enduring discomfort or pain. Because of these issues, we wanted to explore whether the way men treat women as objects affects the sexual pleasure women experience in romantic relationships.”

To investigate this, the researchers collected data from 160 heterosexual couples in long-term relationships, with an average relationship length of nearly 14 years. Participants were recruited through an online platform and completed surveys independently. Women answered questions about their self-objectification, their perception of how much their partner objectified them, their orgasm frequency, and their engagement in sexual emotional labor. Men reported on their own tendency to objectify their partner. The researchers analyzed how these different forms of objectification related to women’s sexual outcomes.

The findings revealed that women who reported higher levels of self-objectification were more likely to engage in sexual emotional labor, such as faking orgasms, performing desire for their partner, and tolerating discomfort during sex.

However, self-objectification was not significantly linked to women’s orgasm frequency. Instead, the strongest predictor of lower orgasm rates was women’s perception that their partner objectified them. Women who felt more objectified by their partner reported experiencing orgasms less frequently and engaging in more sexual emotional labor. Interestingly, men’s self-reported objectification of their partner was not associated with these outcomes. This suggests that what matters most is not how much men think they objectify their partners, but how much women feel objectified.

“A woman’s perception of her male partner’s tendency to objectify her really matters,” the researchers told PsyPost. “One of our findings was that women’s perceptions of partner-objectification are of greater importance for their sexually pleasurable experiences than men’s self-reported partner-objectification. This means that in relationships regardless of how much a man objectifies his partner or thinks he does, it is the woman’s perception of his objectifying behaviour that affects her sexually pleasurable experiences. If we want to look to enhance women’s sexually pleasurable experiences, we must consider what male partners can do (or not do) to support this.”

One possible explanation for this discrepancy is that men may not be fully aware of their own objectifying behaviors, or they may underreport them. Alternatively, women’s perception of being objectified may be influenced by broader societal messages and past experiences, rather than solely by their partner’s behavior. The study’s authors note that men have been found to underestimate gendered inequalities in other areas, such as the extent of the orgasm gap and women’s experiences of sexism. In contrast, women may be more attuned to subtle cues of objectification and may even overestimate their partner’s objectifying tendencies as a protective strategy.

“Men’s self-reported partner-objectification was positively linked to women’s perceptions, but the correlation was weak,” Read and Klein explained. “Some women felt highly objectified while their partners reported little, and vice versa, while others were more in sync. This discrepancy made us question why couples perceived the same behavior so differently”.

The researchers acknowledged some limitations to their study. The participants were mostly white, heterosexual, and identified with the gender they were assigned at birth, which limits how broadly the findings can be applied to other groups. Future research could include more diverse samples to understand if these patterns hold true for women of different ethnicities, sexual orientations, and gender identities. Additionally, the study relied on questionnaires, which capture self-reported experiences and perceptions. Future studies could use different methods to further explore these dynamics.

“Although our findings suggest that women’s meta-perceptions are of greater importance for their sexually pleasurable experiences than men’s self-reports, we cannot make any causal inferences due to the study design,” the researchers noted. “Our research focused exclusively on heterosexual couples, as objectification theory is rooted in a heteronormative framework. Because of this, we cannot assume that our findings apply to queer relationships, highlighting the need for further research in more diverse relationships.”

Despite these limitations, the study offers valuable insights into the role of objectification in heterosexual relationships and its consequences for women’s sexual health. The findings highlight the importance of addressing perceptions of objectification in relationships and suggest that interventions aimed at improving women’s sexual well-being should consider the interpersonal dynamics within couples.

The study, “The dual lens of objectification: Perceived objectification, male partners’ reported objectification, and women’s detrimental sexual outcomes,” was authored by Katie Read, Dilan Kılıç, Rotem Kahalon, and Verena Klein