New psychology research explores the costs and benefits of consenting to unwanted sex

A study conducted in Finland found that consenting to sex despite not wanting it can have both positive and negative consequences for a person’s well-being. Positive outcomes are more likely when the decision to consent is driven by a desire to increase intimacy or express love. Negative consequences, on the other hand, are more common when the consent is the result of coercion or when the individual experiences sexual distress. The study was published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.

Sexual compliance refers to engaging in sexual activity with a partner even when one does not feel a personal desire to do so at that moment. This behavior is often motivated by a wish to satisfy the partner, maintain the relationship, avoid conflict, or fulfill perceived obligations. Unlike coercion, sexual compliance is usually voluntary, though it may still involve subtle pressures such as guilt or fear of disappointing the partner.

Research suggests that sexual compliance is relatively common in both long-term and casual relationships. While it may not be harmful in isolated instances, repeated compliance can lead to decreased sexual satisfaction and reduced emotional well-being. Over time, it may also contribute to feelings of resentment, emotional disconnection, or burnout.

Study author Sabina Nickull and her colleagues set out to examine the factors that predict the perceived outcomes of sexual compliance. They noted that sexual compliance can have both beneficial and harmful effects on well-being, depending on the context and underlying motivations.

The researchers hypothesized that positive outcomes would be more likely when individuals were motivated by approach motives—such as a desire to feel closer, express love, or experience pleasure—and when relationships were characterized by high levels of trust, effective sexual communication, and strong sexual self-esteem. Conversely, they predicted that people with insecure attachment styles, a history of sexual coercion, avoidance-based sexual motives, depression, anxiety, sexual distress, or low sexual assertiveness would be more likely to experience negative consequences.

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Participants were selected at random from the Finnish population registry by the Digital and Population Data Service Agency of Finland. A total of 30,000 residents between the ages of 18 and 50 were invited to participate.

Out of those invited, 948 individuals completed the survey and met eligibility criteria, which required having a partner and having had sex with that partner. The average age of participants was 34 years. About 38% reported having complied with sex more than 100 times, 28% said they had done so a few dozen times, and 31% reported complying only a handful of times.

Participants completed a variety of standardized assessments. These included the Consequences of Sexual Compliance Scale, which measured perceived outcomes; measures of approach and avoidance motives for sex; and tools assessing sexual self-efficacy, sexual self-esteem, attachment style, depression and anxiety symptoms, sexual distress, sexual assertiveness, dyadic sexual communication, trust within the relationship, and experiences of sexual coercion by a partner.

When comparing men and women, the results showed that men, on average, reported higher levels of sexual self-efficacy, self-esteem, and sexual assertiveness. They also had stronger approach motives for sex and perceived more positive consequences of sexual compliance than women.

Women, in contrast, were more likely to report anxious attachment, experiences of partner sexual coercion, and higher levels of depression, anxiety, and perceived negative outcomes of sexual compliance.

Across both genders, approach motives for sex were the strongest predictors of positive consequences. In contrast, sexual coercion by a partner and sexual distress were the most reliable predictors of negative consequences. For women, avoidance-based motives for sex also predicted negative outcomes. For men, lower levels of trust in the partner were linked to more negative consequences.

“The strongest predictor of perceived positive consequences was having approach motives for sex, when controlling for all other predictors. The strongest predictors for perceived negative consequences of sexual compliance were having felt coerced to have sex by the partner in the past month and having experiences of sexual distress. There were slight variations in significant predictors for men and women, but the effects were generally small. The findings can guide clinicians working with couples with discrepancies in sexual desire to identify key focus areas in a clinical context,” the study authors concluded.

The study sheds light on the factors associated with psychological outcomes of sexual compliance. However, it should be noted that the study was exclusively conducted on residents of Finland. Findings on people from other cultures may differ.

The paper, “Predictors of Perceived Positive and Negative Consequences of Sexual Compliance,” was authored by Sabina Nickull, Patrick Jern, Caoyuan Niu, Marianne Källström, and Annika Gunst.