Subscribe
The latest psychology and neuroscience discoveries.
My Account
  • Mental Health
  • Social Psychology
  • Cognitive Science
  • Psychopharmacology
  • Neuroscience
  • About
No Result
View All Result
PsyPost
PsyPost
No Result
View All Result
Home Exclusive Relationships and Sexual Health

New study links “destiny beliefs” to post-breakup contact and tracking

by Eric W. Dolan
April 17, 2025
in Relationships and Sexual Health, Social Psychology
[Adobe Stock]

[Adobe Stock]

Share on TwitterShare on Facebook
Stay on top of the latest psychology findings: Subscribe now!

A recent study published in the journal Personal Relationships found that people who believe in soulmates are more likely to engage in post-breakup contact and tracking behaviors—such as calling, messaging, or monitoring an ex online—especially when they see the former partner as an ideal match. In contrast, those who believe relationships succeed through effort and growth showed less inclination toward these behaviors. The research, which combined results from four studies, suggests that beliefs about romantic destiny may shape how people cope with heartbreak, and that targeting these beliefs could help reduce distress after a breakup.

Romantic breakups are often described as one of the most emotionally painful events a person can go through. Many people turn to strategies that aim to maintain a connection to their ex-partner, whether through social media, messages, or physical proximity. These actions, known as post-relationship contact and tracking (PRCT), are common. While some are relatively harmless, others can border on invasive or even escalate into stalking. The goal of the current research was to understand what psychological factors predict these behaviors, with a focus on people’s underlying beliefs about how relationships work.

“In the last few years, I’ve been fascinated by how people make sense of romantic relationships and how their beliefs about relationships impact functioning and dissolution,” said study author Ashley E. Thompson, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota Duluth. “Breakups are such a common experience, yet people respond to them in very different ways. Exploring how our beliefs relate to behaviors like ‘stalking an ex” provides a window into how we can support emotional recovery and decision-making post-relationship dissolution.”

The researchers examined a framework known as implicit theories of relationships, which include two types of beliefs. Destiny beliefs reflect the idea that romantic connections are either meant to be or not—soulmate-style thinking. In contrast, growth beliefs emphasize that successful relationships are built through shared effort, communication, and the ability to overcome obstacles. The researchers hypothesized that people who hold stronger destiny beliefs would be more likely to engage in PRCT after a breakup, especially if they believed their ex was the right match.

To investigated this, the researchers conducted four separate studies using different samples and methods. The first two studies involved adults recruited online who had recently gone through a breakup. In the first study, 142 participants completed surveys measuring their relationship beliefs and how often they had engaged in a list of 22 post-breakup behaviors, including messaging their ex, trying to see them in person, or checking their social media. The results showed that those who scored higher on destiny beliefs reported more frequent PRCT behaviors. Growth beliefs, in contrast, were not significantly related to these behaviors.

The second study, with 198 participants, replicated these findings and added an important factor: perceived partner fit. Participants were asked whether they believed their ex was their “soulmate.” The researchers found that destiny beliefs predicted more frequent PRCT behaviors, but only among those who had seen their ex-partner as an ideal match. In other words, people who both believed in romantic destiny and felt they had lost “the one” were most likely to seek continued contact. This pattern was not found among those with strong growth beliefs.

To examine whether relationship beliefs could be altered—and whether this might change PRCT tendencies—the third and fourth studies used experimental methods. In Study 3, 138 adults were randomly assigned to read a fictional article that either promoted destiny beliefs, promoted growth beliefs, or served as a neutral control. Participants then imagined breaking up with their current partner and rated how likely they would be to engage in each of the 22 PRCT behaviors.

Interestingly, even though the articles did not significantly shift participants’ self-reported beliefs about relationships, the messages did affect their behavioral intentions. Those who read the article promoting destiny beliefs reported a stronger likelihood of engaging in PRCT, compared to those who read the growth-focused article.

Study 4 built on this by adding a pre-post design, in which participants completed measures of their relationship beliefs before and after reading one of the fictional articles. This allowed the researchers to directly measure belief changes. Destiny beliefs decreased after reading the growth-oriented article, and those in the growth condition again reported lower intentions to engage in PRCT. Partner fit, which was measured using a more detailed scale in these studies, did not significantly moderate the results in the final study, perhaps due to the hypothetical nature of the scenarios.

“Although the impact of partner fit on the relationship between destiny beliefs and PRCT participation was not always replicated, our study did provide some evidence that people with strong destiny beliefs, who believed that their ex-partner was their ‘soulmate,’ were the most likely to engage in PRCT,” Thompson told PsyPost. “In other words, what we found to be important was not necessarily whether someone believed in the concept of “soulmates” but whether they thought they had found theirs.”

Across all four studies, one consistent pattern did emerge: people who believe that relationships are predestined and that some partners are simply “meant to be” are more likely to struggle with letting go. They may be more prone to seek contact, track their ex’s behavior, or try to revive the connection—even when the relationship is over. On the other hand, people who believe that relationships grow through shared effort may be better able to accept a breakup and move on, recognizing that a failed relationship does not necessarily mean personal failure or lost fate.

“In a nutshell, individuals with strong destiny beliefs (who believe in a perfect fit and that relationships are either meant to be or not) were more likely to seek post-relationship contact with the ex, hoping to somehow rekindle the relationship or find a way to make it work,” Thompson explained. “With these results in mind, it is important to understand that breakups are never easy. However, to support those with strong destiny beliefs when attempting to move past a breakup, we need to encourage a growth-based approach that emphasizes the development of romantic chemistry.”

Importantly, the research also hints at the possibility that these beliefs are not entirely fixed. In the final study, exposure to growth-oriented messages helped reduce destiny beliefs and lowered participants’ willingness to engage in PRCT behaviors, at least in imagined scenarios.

But the study, like all research, has limitations. Many of the studies relied on self-report data, which may be influenced by memory bias or social desirability. The experimental articles, though based on real media formats, did not always shift relationship beliefs as intended, suggesting that more robust interventions may be needed to meaningfully alter long-held views. The measures used to assess partner fit also varied between studies, which could have influenced the consistency of moderation findings.

“I am currently extending this work by investigating the extent to which growth/destiny beliefs predict relationship burnout (defined as emotional, physical, and cognitive exhaustion experienced by romantic partners trying to attain unrealistic expectations within a relationship),” Thompson said. “Although I have been able to determine that growth and destiny beliefs affect behavior after relationship dissolution (via the current study), little is known about how these beliefs impact behavior that may lead to dissolution.”

“In particular, I am looking to explore whether those high in growth beliefs are more “burnt out,” due to the amount of work they are willing to put into their relationships as compared to those low in growth beliefs. Additionally, I am interested in determining whether people high in destiny beliefs are more likely to terminate a relationship when experiencing high levels of burnout as compared to those low in destiny beliefs.”

The study, “We Were Meant to be: Do Implicit Theories of Relationships and Perceived Partner Fit Help Explain Post-Relationship Contact and Tracking Behaviors Following a Breakup?,” was authored by Ashley E. Thompson, Katie Gooch, Rachel M. Willhite, and Lucia F. O’Sullivan.

TweetSendScanShareSendPinShareShareShareShareShare

RELATED

Psychopathic tendencies may be associated with specific hormonal patterns
Psychopathy

Psychopathic tendencies may be associated with specific hormonal patterns

July 10, 2025

What if the roots of psychopathy could be traced in our blood? New research is looking beyond psychology and into our endocrine system. A new study suggests hormones like cortisol and testosterone may hold important clues to a person's manipulative and impulsive tendencies.

Read moreDetails
Testosterone shifts political preferences in weakly affiliated Democratic men, study finds
Political Psychology

Testosterone shifts political preferences in weakly affiliated Democratic men, study finds

July 10, 2025

What if the key to swaying a swing voter lies in their biology? New research found giving testosterone to weakly affiliated Democratic men made them less loyal to their party and more open to Republicans, revealing a potential hormonal link to political persuasion.

Read moreDetails
Ketamine repairs reward circuitry to reverse stress-induced anhedonia
Relationships and Sexual Health

New study links why people use pornography to day-to-day couple behavior

July 9, 2025

Daily motivations for pornography use predict how couples treat each other, according to a new study. When people used porn to manage emotions, they were less kind. Shared or pleasure-based use, by contrast, was tied to warmer behavior.

Read moreDetails
Bullshit is deemed more credible if attributed to a scientist, compared to a spiritual guru
Social Psychology

Scientists who relocate more often start Nobel research up to two years earlier

July 8, 2025

A new study of Nobel Prize winners suggests that scientists who change locations or work in multiple places tend to begin their groundbreaking research earlier, highlighting how exposure to diverse environments may help spark innovative, high-impact ideas.

Read moreDetails
The most popular dementia videos on TikTok tend to have the lowest quality, study find
Addiction

People with short-video addiction show altered brain responses during decision-making

July 8, 2025

People who frequently use short-video apps like TikTok may show reduced loss sensitivity and impulsive decision-making, according to a new neuroimaging study that links addictive use patterns to changes in brain activity during risky choices.

Read moreDetails
Being adopted doesn’t change how teens handle love and dating
Relationships and Sexual Health

Being adopted doesn’t change how teens handle love and dating

July 7, 2025

In one of the first large-scale studies on adopted adolescents’ romantic experiences, researchers found that adoption status had little effect on whether teens were dating, how long relationships lasted, or how relationship quality shaped well-being.

Read moreDetails
People with psychopathic traits fail to learn from painful outcomes
Narcissism

National narcissism linked to emotional impairments and dehumanization, new study finds

July 7, 2025

A new study suggests that people who see their nation as uniquely important often struggle with recognizing emotions and experience more anger and contempt—factors that may help explain why they’re more likely to dehumanize both outsiders and fellow citizens.

Read moreDetails
Anxious and avoidant attachment are elevated among individuals with eating disorders
Developmental Psychology

Personality may be a key factor connecting negative parenting experiences to adult challenges

July 7, 2025

New research finds a link between how adults recall being parented and their current life difficulties. These challenges may be partly explained by personality traits, such as lower conscientiousness, that are connected to early family environments and adult well-being.

Read moreDetails

SUBSCRIBE

Go Ad-Free! Click here to subscribe to PsyPost and support independent science journalism!

STAY CONNECTED

LATEST

Dementia: Your lifetime risk may be far greater than previously thought

Psychopathic tendencies may be associated with specific hormonal patterns

Scientists use deep learning to uncover hidden motor signs of neurodivergence

Study finds “Anxious Mondays” linked to long-term stress and heart health risks in older adults

Adults treated with psychostimulants for ADHD show increased brain surface complexity, study finds

Is humor inherited? Twin study suggests the ability to be funny may not run in the family

Testosterone shifts political preferences in weakly affiliated Democratic men, study finds

Can sunshine make you happier? A massive study offers a surprising answer

         
       
  • Contact us
  • Privacy policy
  • Terms and Conditions
[Do not sell my information]

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In

Add New Playlist

Subscribe
  • My Account
  • Cognitive Science Research
  • Mental Health Research
  • Social Psychology Research
  • Drug Research
  • Relationship Research
  • About PsyPost
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy