A new study published in Personal Relationships provides insight into how the age gap between romantic partners changes when people enter relationships at different life stages. Researchers analyzed data from 29 countries and found that as men grow older, they are more likely to form relationships with younger partners. Women exhibit a similar but weaker trend. These findings suggest that age-related preferences in romantic relationships evolve over time, potentially due to a combination of biological and social influences.
Understanding how age preferences shift in relationships is important for studying romantic dynamics, particularly in later life. While previous research has extensively examined gender differences in partner age preferences, most studies have focused on younger populations. However, as life expectancy increases and people form new relationships later in life due to divorce or widowhood, it becomes increasingly relevant to explore how these preferences evolve over time.
Past studies have consistently shown that men tend to prefer younger partners, whereas women prefer slightly older ones. However, the extent to which these preferences change over time has remained unclear. Some researchers have suggested that men’s preference for younger women is driven by evolutionary factors related to reproductive potential, while women may prioritize financial stability and social status when selecting a partner. At the same time, sociocultural influences, such as shifting gender roles and caregiving expectations, may shape these patterns. By analyzing a large international dataset, the researchers aimed to clarify whether these trends are consistent across different cultures and whether they change as people enter relationships at older ages.
“The nature of close relationships of people in higher age is a topic we focus on in our research lab,” said study author Jaroslav Gottfried, a postdoctoral researcher at the University College Dublin. “One reason is that while intimate relationships are often studied in young and adult people, this topic has been neglected in research and public communications until approximately the last two decades. By describing the trends in people forming intimate relationships in higher age, we hope to better understand the changes in their preferences and lifestyle. This knowledge could help to tackle the issues of lower wellbeing or loneliness in people in higher age.”
The researchers used data from the Survey of Health, Ageing, and Retirement in Europe (SHARE), which collects information from individuals aged 50 and older across 28 European countries and Israel. The study focused on individuals who were currently in long-term relationships and excluded cases where information about the relationship start date was unavailable.
The final sample included nearly 36,000 individuals, with an equal gender distribution. The participants reported their own age, their partner’s age, and the year their relationship began. By analyzing the relationship start date, the researchers were able to assess how age preferences shaped partner choice at the time of relationship formation, rather than simply comparing age differences in long-term couples.
The study found that the age gap between romantic partners is not fixed but systematically shifts based on the age at which people enter relationships. For men, the trend was particularly pronounced: younger men tended to partner with women about three years younger, but as they aged, their partners became progressively younger. By the time men reached older adulthood, the age gap had widened significantly, with some older men forming relationships with women nearly a decade younger.
Women, on the other hand, followed a different trajectory. Younger women typically partnered with men who were a few years older, consistent with traditional gendered age norms. However, as women aged, this preference shifted. By around age 60, women were no longer seeking older partners and instead formed relationships with men of similar age. This trend suggests that women’s preferences become less influenced by traditional norms as they age, possibly due to changing priorities, social dynamics, and the realities of the dating market.
The findings align with both evolutionary and sociocultural explanations. Evolutionary theories suggest that men’s preference for younger partners may stem from reproductive motives, as youth is associated with fertility. However, this does not fully explain why older men continue to prefer significantly younger partners even when reproduction is no longer a consideration. Some researchers suggest that this preference may be tied to social status, as having a younger partner can signal prestige. Women’s shifting preferences, on the other hand, may reflect changing social needs and priorities. As they age, women may prioritize companionship, shared life experiences, and avoiding caregiving responsibilities, leading them to seek same-aged partners.
Another factor influencing these trends is the gender imbalance in the dating pool. Because women tend to live longer than men, older women may have fewer options when searching for an older partner. As a result, they may be more open to forming relationships with younger men, leading to the observed shift in preferences.
“On average, there is a stable trend in older men coupling with progressively younger women,” Gottfried told PsyPost. “That means that most men couple with women a couple of years younger than themselves, but at a higher age, this age difference between them and their newfound partner usually grows. A slightly weaker trend also applies for women, in general. Although most women couple with men a couple years older than themselves, the age difference gradually diminishes as women grow older, and women older than 60 years tend to find themselves a partner who is more or less the same age as them. Dating market availability and also possible changes in partner preferences (e.g. potential healthcare issues associated with dating a person in high age) can explain this slow shift towards preferring progressively younger partners as people age.”
Although the study provides important insights into how age preferences shift over time, it has some limitations. One key limitation is that it focuses only on age differences in long-term relationships rather than examining ideal partner preferences. This means that while the study shows who people actually form relationships with, it does not measure what their preferences might be in hypothetical scenarios.
Additionally, the dataset only includes participants from European countries and Israel, which limits the generalizability of the findings to other cultural contexts. In societies with different social norms or economic conditions, patterns of age preferences may vary. Future research could explore how these trends play out in different regions of the world.
Moreover, the study does not directly measure socioeconomic status at the time of relationship formation. While socioeconomic factors likely play a role in shaping partner preferences, the dataset did not include sufficient information to analyze this variable in depth. Future research could examine whether men with higher socioeconomic status are more likely to form relationships with significantly younger women, as some theories suggest.
The study, “Couples age discrepancies in a large-scale European sample: Evolutionary and sociocultural perspectives,” was authored by Jaroslav Gottfried, Anna Ševčíková, Lukas Blinka, Andrea Lambert South.
