Men with premature ejaculation symptoms are more likely to blame themselves for negative sexual experiences and are less likely to take credit for good sex.
That is the finding of a study of 853 men published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
The research found that men with chronic premature ejaculation symptoms tended to take greater responsibility for negative sexual experiences. Men without such symptoms, on the other hand, were more likely to blame negative sexual experiences on situational factors, their relationship or their partner.
Men with premature ejaculation symptoms were also more likely to attribute positive sexual experiences to external factors, such as their partner, rather than themselves.
PsyPost interviewed the study’s corresponding author, David L. Rowland of Valparaiso University. Read his responses below:
PsyPost: Why were you interested in this topic?
Rowland: Men who ejaculate before they desire (often fitting the category of premature ejaculation) struggle with their condition, feeling embarrassment and often worrying about the sexual satisfaction of their partner. The condition is relatively common, affecting anywhere from about 10-25% of men at some time in their life. However, sometimes the problem is dismissed as being temporary and of little consequence. One the other hand, little is actually known about how men themselves respond to their sexual problem, which was one of the goals of this study.
What should the average person take away from your study?
Men who ejaculate before they desire are more likely to blame themselves for any/all negative sexual situations, whether or not germane to their problem of ejaculating quickly after (or even before) penetration, in contrast with men having no problem who are more likely blame the specific situation (e.g. felt hurried or a lack of privacy) or even their relationship (e.g., we just didn’t click that time). Furthermore, such men are less likely to take credit for a particularly good/satisfying sexual experience involving their partner.
In other words, they develop a mindset of feeling responsible for every possible negative thing about sex, and are less likely to take credit for any possible positive experiences with their partner. That is, these men “internalize” the negatives (blaming themselves) and “externalize” the positive (attributing good outcomes to things other than themselves. As you might imagine, such a mindset erodes self-efficacy and confidence, both of which are important to a satisfying sexual relationship.
Are there any major caveats? What questions still need to be addressed?
Yes, our sample was quite young, with an average age in the mid-20’s. As men become more sexually experienced, they may, with the support of their partner, be able to overcome this mindset.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
Yes, the situation reiterates the importance of helping men deal with their sexual problem through a team approach, where the couple strives together to develop a higher level of sexual satisfaction through open communication, an increased sexual repertoire, and professional guidance and biomedical solutions when appropriate. In other words, such problems might not be viewed just as the man’s problem, but as one that benefits most from the support of one’s partner.
The study, “Attribution Patterns in Men Who Ejaculate Before They Desire: An Internet Survey“, was also co-authored by David L. Rowland, Laura C. Mikolajczyk, Devin M. Pinkston, Holly M. Reed and Darren M. Lo.
