We often think of attraction as something that draws us to another individual, but what if that pull not just toward an individual but toward the energy that flows between people in a relationship? Recent research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior has identified a phenomenon called symbiosexuality, where individuals find themselves attracted to the dynamics within existing relationships. These findings offer a new perspective on human desire, suggesting that attraction can be more complex than we previously understood.
The concept of symbiosexuality emerged from observations in cultural and academic discourses that some people are drawn to the relationships between others rather than to individuals themselves. Despite this, the phenomenon had remained largely unexplored, with most discussions on human attraction focusing on one-to-one dynamics.
“As part of the polyamorous community, I have heard people talk openly about experiencing attraction to established couples,” explained study author Sally W. Johnston, an adjunct professor of anthropology and sociology at Seattle University. “In a review of the literature, I was surprised to find that this phenomenon has been largely ignored in social and academic discourse. Paradoxically, in a previous study (Johnston, 2024), I also found that sexual and romantic relationships between single people and couples (potetnially motivated by symbiosexual attraction) receive a lot of negative attention in polyamorous communities. I wanted to learn more about this understudied attraction.”
The primary source of data for her new study was a larger project known as The Pleasure Study, which was designed to investigate various aspects of gender identity and sexual pleasure. The survey administered in The Pleasure Study consisted of 65 questions that covered a wide range of topics, including gender, sexual orientation, relationship practices, cultural background, education, and specific experiences with couples.
Johnston zeroed in on responses from participants who indicated they had experienced attraction to a couple — defined as an attraction to two people and their relationship together, rather than to each individual separately. Out of the 373 participants in The Pleasure Study, 145 reported this type of attraction.
In addition to analyzing survey data, Johnston conducted in-depth interviews with a subset of these participants. A total of 34 interviewees, who had previously indicated their attraction to couples in the survey, provided richer, more detailed accounts of their experiences. These interviews were conducted via Zoom, recorded, transcribed, and then analyzed for thematic content.
One of the key discoveries was that symbiosexual attraction is experienced by a diverse group of people. While the sample was skewed towards queer and nonmonogamous individuals due to the recruitment methods, the variety within this group was notable. Participants varied widely in age, race, ethnicity, education, and social class, indicating that symbiosexual attraction is not confined to any particular demographic.
“I was most surprised by the large and diverse population of people that reported experiencing this attraction,” Johnston told PsyPost.
There was a particularly high representation of individuals who identified as queer or nonmonogamous, suggesting a possible correlation between these identities and the experience of symbiosexual attraction.
Through the interviews, Johnston uncovered rich descriptions of what participants found attractive about couples. Many described a fascination with the energy and dynamics between two people in a relationship. This included the cohesion, charisma, multidimensionality, and power that couples projected. Participants often spoke of being drawn to the “synergy” or “third force” created by the couple, which was perceived as greater than the sum of its parts. This attraction was distinct from being attracted to the individuals within the couple; it was specifically about the relational dynamic they created together.
Johnston also identified several common themes in the types of relationships that were particularly attractive to those with symbiosexual desires. Participants frequently mentioned being drawn to couples who displayed strong intimacy, high-quality communication, and a playful or sexually open dynamic. Some were specifically attracted to the physical appearance of the couple as a unit, while others were drawn to the inherent queerness or gender diversity within the relationship.
Another significant finding was that, for many participants, symbiosexual attraction was an unexpected and unfamiliar experience. Several described it as something they had not initially recognized or had difficulty articulating. This lack of language and recognition likely contributed to a sense of uncertainty or even hesitation about the validity or “normality” of their attraction. Despite this, for some, symbiosexual attraction was a profound and central aspect of their sexual identity, suggesting that this phenomenon could be an important component of a broader spectrum of human desire.
Johnston’s study also highlighted the potential social stigma and challenges faced by those who experience symbiosexual attraction, particularly within nonmonogamous communities. Individuals who experience this attraction are sometimes referred to as “unicorns”—a term that describes someone who is willing to engage in romantic or sexual relationships with established couples. However, this label, while popular, often oversimplifies the complexity of symbiosexual attraction, which involves a deeper pull toward the energy and dynamics within a relationship.
“There is a diverse population of people who experience symbiosexual attraction, an attraction to the energy, multidimensionality, and power shared between people in relationships,” Johnston said. “Therefore, we need to rethink the nature of human attraction and desire as only one-to-one experiences. We also need to challenge the stigma and discrimination against this attraction within the polyamorous community.”
The findings from this study offer evidence that symbiosexuality is a genuine and significant experience for many people. However, Johnston noted that “while I provide a label for this attraction, ‘symboisexual attraction,’ it is important to note that participants were not offered this label during the study when asked about their experiences of attraction to couples. It is unknown if the label will resonate for every participant.”
Further research is also needed to explore the prevalence of symbiosexuality in the general population and to understand how it intersects with other aspects of identity, such as gender and sexual orientation. It would also be beneficial to investigate the psychological and emotional impacts of symbiosexual attraction. For instance, how does this attraction influence relationship satisfaction or mental health? Are there particular life experiences or personal characteristics that make someone more likely to experience symbiosexual attraction?
“I have a follow-up study under review examining sexual and romantic experiences with couples of people who experience symbiosexual attraction,” Johnston said. “As we learn more about people’s lived experiences with this attraction, it is my hope that those who experience symbiosexual attraction will be able to find both information and validation. In addition, I hope that this work will reduce stigma in both monogamous and non-monogamous communities and expand conceptualizations of desire in sexuality studies.”
Researchers could also examine the relationship between symbiosexual attraction and compersion, which refers to the positive emotions, such as joy, pleasure, or contentment, that some people experience when witnessing or imagining their partner engaging in intimate relations with someone else.
“I believe there is an interesting connection between the experience of compersion (often discussed in polyamorous communities) and symbiosexual attraction,” Johnston said. “More research is needed on these potentially intersecting phenomena.”
The study, “Symbiosexual Attraction: An Integrated Mixed‑Methods Study,” was published April 8, 2024.
