New research sheds light on biased perceptions of sexist attitudes in intimate heterosexual relationships. The study, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, found that women tend to overestimate their partners’ hostile sexism while underestimating benevolent sexism. Conversely, men tend to underestimate their partners’ hostile sexism and overestimate benevolent sexism.
Prior research has mainly focused on individuals’ own sexist attitudes or perceptions of strangers’ sexist attitudes. However, understanding how individuals perceive their intimate partners’ sexist attitudes could have significant consequences for relationship dynamics and overall satisfaction.
“Sexist attitudes have really important implications for intimate relationships between men and women,” explained study authors Nina Waddell, a PhD candidate, and Nickola Overall, the principal investigator at the REACH Lab at The University of Auckland.
The researchers focused on two forms of sexist attitudes based on Ambivalent Sexism Theory. Hostile sexism reflects overtly negative attitudes towards women. Benevolent sexism, on the other hand, is a subtler and often more socially accepted form of sexism. It includes the belief that women are delicate, nurturing, and should be protected by men.
“Men who hold more hostile sexist attitudes act with more aggression toward women in intimate relationships, and thus hostile sexism has very harmful consequences for women,” the researchers explained. “By contrast, benevolent sexism romanticizes women and men’s traditional roles, such as promoting women as warm caregivers and men as protectors and providers. Men’s benevolent sexism is appealing to women by offering more care and commitment in intimate relationships, but these attitudes ultimately continue to uphold traditional gender roles which maintain gender inequalities.”
“Given men’s hostile and benevolent sexist attitudes have substantial consequences for women, we expected that women would pay attention to their partners’ sexism but also be biased in ways that may help avoid the costs of sexist attitudes. In situations that make us vulnerable, such as in intimate relationships where someone has a lot of influence over our feelings and experiences, we often perceive others’ feeling and attitudes in biased ways to protect ourselves from encountering negative outcomes. For example, we should be sensitive to any cue that our partners’ might reject us, such as overestimating their dissatisfaction, in order to do something to prevent painful rejection.”
“Men’s hostile sexism risks harm for women in relationships. Failing to detect hostile attitudes (underestimating hostile sexism in partners) would mean women would be less alert to the presence of these potential harms. Instead, women should be more cautious and sensitive to these potential harms, and thus likely overestimate their partner’s hostile sexism to be on the safe side.”
In Study 1, the researchers investigated biased perceptions of sexist attitudes in intimate relationships. They recruited 91 mixed-gender couples and asked them to complete the Ambivalent Sexism Inventory (ASI) to measure their own hostile and benevolent sexism towards women, as well as their perceptions of their partner’s sexist attitudes.
The findings revealed interesting patterns of biased perceptions. Women tended to overestimate their partner’s hostile sexism, which suggests that they are cautious about potential risks associated with men’s antagonistic attitudes towards women. On the other hand, men tended to underestimate their partner’s hostile sexism, possibly assuming that women are less likely to endorse hostile attitudes toward their own gender.
Regarding benevolent sexism, women underestimated their partner’s endorsement of such attitudes, indicating a cautious approach to relying on the promised protective care from men. Conversely, men tended to overestimate their partner’s benevolent sexism, possibly being cautious not to underestimate the expected protective care they should provide.
“We found that women did indeed overestimate their partners’ hostile sexism,” Waddell and Overall told PsyPost. “We expected and found a different pattern of bias with regard to men’s benevolent sexism. Men’s benevolent sexism is appealing to women because it signals willingness to invest in the relationship and gives women security. But overestimating these attitudes would leave women expecting chivalry and protection from someone that will not provide it. Thus, women should be cautious to not feel safer than they actually are and, as we found, should be more likely to underestimate their partner’s benevolent sexism.”
In Study 2, the researchers aimed to replicate and extend the findings from Study 1 regarding biased perceptions of sexist attitudes in intimate relationships. They recruited 98 mixed-gender couples and collected data from them five times over the course of a year. Their findings replicated the patterns observed in Study 1 and suggested that these biases persist over time.
“People often think we only hold positive biases of our partners, which is consistent with a lot of research showing we wear ‘rose-colored glasses’ when judging our loved ones (e.g., seeing our partners as more attractive and intelligent than partners rate themselves). However, holding only positive, love-based biases would make people too vulnerable in relationships,” Waddell and Overall explained.
“If we underestimate the possibility of rejection or aggression, we are at risk of being hurt. If we overestimate positive intentions, we are at risk of being disappointed or not as safe as we assumed. So, in addition to positive biases, people also demonstrate tendencies to be cautious about partner’s attitudes that signal risks for the self and the relationship and so we can overestimate hostile attitudes and underestimate benevolent intentions.”
Interestingly, both studies found that tracking accuracy was relatively low for both men and women, indicating that their judgments of their partner’s sexist attitudes were not very accurate. This indicates that people may not fully grasp their partner’s true attitudes when it comes to sexist beliefs.
“What might surprise some readers is that women hold sexist attitudes as well, and men also pay attention to these attitudes in their partners,” Waddell and Overall told PsyPost. “Benevolent sexism communicates to women that adhering to traditional gender roles should be rewarded with a chivalrous and devoted partner that is willing to provide for and protect them. Accordingly, women’s benevolent sexism is often associated with lofty and rigid expectations, and in turn dissatisfaction and anger when men do not meet these ideals.”
“This means that like men’s hostile sexism, women’s benevolent sexism can risk dissatisfaction and conflict for women and their men partners. Given the negative outcomes associated with failing to meet the expectations that come with women’s benevolent sexism, men are likely to be cautious in their assessment of women’s benevolent sexism. In particular, we found evidence that men overestimate their partner’s level of benevolent sexism in order to avoid the more costly error of failing to live up to expectations to fulfil the traditional male role of committed and benevolent provider.”
While the study provided valuable insights into biases in perceptions of sexist attitudes within intimate relationships, it also had some limitations. The study used a sample of college-aged participants from university-based advertisements. This may limit the generalizability of the findings to more diverse populations. Additionally, the study focused on biases in perceptions of sexist attitudes, but it did not explore how these biases affect relationship outcomes or behavior. Future research could investigate the consequences of these biases on relationship dynamics and satisfaction.
“There are definitely important questions that still need to be addressed in future research. It is important to consider what the implications of these perceptual biases for relationships might be. Oftentimes, the ‘rose-colored glasses’ biases we have toward our partners end up being a positive thing — viewing your partner as smarter and more attractive than the average person is generally good for relationships.
“However, thinking your partner endorses hostile sexism to a greater extent than they actually do could be more problematic. For example, this biased perception may result in women acting more submissively in relationships to avoid aggressive or hostile reactions they assume their partner will have, which would likely be detrimental for women’s relationship quality and wellbeing.”
The study, “Bias, accuracy and assumed similarity in judging intimate partners’ sexist attitudes“, was authored by Nina Waddell and Nickola C. Overall.
