A sense of shared power predicts a healthier sex life in married couples

A new study finds that when both husbands and wives feel they have a voice and influence in their relationship, it is linked to a more positive and less inhibited sexual life for both partners over time. The research, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, suggests that the dynamics of everyday decision-making and communication can have long-lasting connections to a couple’s sexual well-being.

Sexual passion is a recognized component of a healthy romantic relationship, but researchers have only recently begun to explore what factors within a marriage might predict its expression. Ashley Forbush of The University of Texas at Austin and her colleagues were interested in exploring the link between relational power and sexual motivations. They wanted to understand if the way couples negotiate influence and decisions could shape the type of passion partners feel in their sexual relationship over the course of several years.

The researchers based their work on self-determination theory, a framework for understanding human motivation. This theory suggests that people are most fulfilled when their actions are self-chosen and align with their own values, a state known as intrinsic motivation. In a sexual context, this can be thought of as harmonious sexual passion, where sex is well-integrated into a person’s life and identity.

In contrast, when people feel pressured or controlled, their motivation becomes extrinsic, which can lead to reluctance or avoidance. This is similar to inhibited sexual passion, where a person might hesitate to act on their sexual desires. The researchers proposed that a sense of shared power would create an environment that supports autonomy, which is the feeling of being in control of one’s own actions and decisions. This increased autonomy in the sexual domain could then foster more harmonious passion and less inhibited passion.

To investigate these connections, the research team analyzed data from a large, nationally representative sample of 1,668 newly married, different-sex couples in the United States. These couples were part of the Couple Relationships and Transition Experiences study and completed surveys at three different time points, roughly one year apart. This longitudinal approach allowed the scientists to observe how perceptions of power at one point in time were associated with sexual passion in subsequent years.

In the surveys, participants answered questions designed to measure their perceptions of shared power in their marriage. These questions focused on communication and decision-making processes, such as whether they felt their partner listened to their perspective or if they talked through problems until they reached a mutual agreement.

Participants also reported on their sexual passion, responding to items that distinguished between harmonious passion, like feeling their sexual interests were well-integrated into their relationship, and inhibited passion, like feeling reluctant to act on sexual urges with their partner.

Finally, they assessed their sexual autonomy by indicating how free they felt to be themselves and express their needs within their sexual relationship. The researchers used a statistical approach that allowed them to see how one partner’s perceptions affected their own outcomes and also how they affected their partner’s outcomes.

The results showed a clear link between a sense of shared power and better sexual outcomes for both husbands and wives. Individuals who reported more shared power in their relationship also reported greater harmonious sexual passion at the same time point. This perception of shared power also predicted increases in their own harmonious passion two years later. Similarly, feeling more shared power was associated with having less inhibited sexual passion at the same time and predicted a decrease in inhibited passion one year later.

The study also revealed that one partner’s feelings about the relationship’s power dynamics could affect the other partner. A person’s perception of shared power was not only linked to their own harmonious passion but was also associated with their partner having greater harmonious passion, both at the same time and one year later.

This suggests that when one person feels the relationship is balanced and supportive, it can benefit the sexual well-being of both individuals. This partner effect was not observed for inhibited passion; a person’s sense of shared power was only linked to a reduction in their own feelings of inhibition, not their partner’s.

The researchers also examined whether sexual autonomy could explain the connection between shared power and sexual passion. They found that at a single point in time, the link was present. People who felt more shared power also reported greater sexual autonomy, and this sense of autonomy was in turn associated with more harmonious and less inhibited passion.

However, this explanatory role did not extend over time. A person’s feeling of shared power at the beginning of the study did not predict an increase in their sexual autonomy a year later. This finding suggests that the influence of shared power on sexual autonomy may be more immediate rather than a gradually building effect.

For the most part, the study found that these patterns were similar for both husbands and wives. The way that shared power connected to sexual passion did not significantly differ by gender. This indicates that creating a relationship environment where both partners feel they have influence is equally important for the sexual motivations of both men and women in these newly married couples.

The study has some limitations. The findings are based on a sample of newly married, different-sex couples, so the results may not be generalizable to same-sex couples, cohabiting couples, or couples who have been married for a longer period. The research identifies strong associations between these concepts but cannot definitively prove that shared power causes changes in sexual passion. The researchers also noted that the measure of sexual autonomy could be expanded in future studies to capture the concept more fully.

Future research could explore these dynamics in different types of couples and examine whether the connection flows in the opposite direction, for instance, whether a more harmonious sexual relationship might lead couples to develop a greater sense of shared power over time.

The study, “Power and passion: An exploration of the relationship between marital power processes and sexual passion styles,” was authored by Ashley Forbush, Dean Busby, Jeremy Yorgason, and Erin Holmes.