Avoidant attachment to parents linked to choosing a childfree life, study finds

A large new study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin sheds light on why some people choose not to have children—and how their close relationships may shape that decision. Researchers found that individuals who are more emotionally distant from their parents were significantly more likely to identify as childfree. On the other hand, people who expressed more anxious attachment toward their parents were slightly less likely to opt out of parenthood. The study also found that people with different attachment styles reported different reasons for choosing not to have children, ranging from mental health concerns to a desire for personal freedom.

The decision to be childfree is becoming more common, especially in industrialized societies. While some individuals remain childless due to circumstances beyond their control, childfree people are defined by their active and deliberate decision not to have children—biological, adopted, or otherwise.

Past research has focused on societal trends and personal motivations, such as concerns about finances, health, or the environment. But fewer studies have examined how a person’s early emotional bonds, especially with parents, relate to the desire to remain childfree. The current research sought to better understand these psychological factors and explore whether different types of attachment—secure, anxious, or avoidant—are associated with specific reasons for not wanting children.

Attachment styles describe the ways people relate to others in close relationships, shaped by early interactions with caregivers. People with a secure attachment style generally feel comfortable with closeness and trust others. In contrast, those with an anxious attachment style often worry about being abandoned, while those with an avoidant style tend to be emotionally distant and uncomfortable with dependency. These patterns can carry over into adult relationships, including with romantic partners, friends, and parents.

“Broadly, I wanted to better understand why some people make the choice to not have children. A lot of the research on the reasons for being childfree has been qualitative, and while that’s very valuable research, I wanted to better understand how common each of the major reasons is within the childfree community,” explained study author Sara Glass, a PhD student at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign.

“I was also interested in exploring the personalities of childfree people. Previous research suggests that there are no major Big Five personality differences between childfree and non-childfree people. However, the decision to have children is often an interpersonal one, so I thought that a model of individual differences that may provide more insight into the lives of childfree people would be attachment theory.”

The study drew on data from more than 18,000 adults around the world, with over half of participants based in the United States. Participants completed a comprehensive online survey assessing their attachment patterns to key figures in their lives—mothers, fathers, romantic partners, and close friends—using a widely accepted measure known as the Relationship Structures Questionnaire. They were also asked about their parental status and intentions, which allowed researchers to classify them as parents, aspiring parents, undecided, childless, ambivalent, or childfree. Those who indicated they did not have and did not want children were categorized as childfree.

About 12% of the sample identified as childfree. These individuals were then asked to select from a list of 18 possible reasons for not wanting children. The most commonly endorsed reason was the desire to keep one’s freedom, selected by two-thirds of childfree respondents.

“Most childfree people said that they didn’t want to have children because they wanted to keep their freedom and because having kids just isn’t compatible with their lifestyle or goals,” Glass told PsyPost. “Other common reasons were being worried about the state of the world and the environment, financial reasons, career related reasons, to avoid losing their personal identity, mental health reasons, and not liking children, or only liking them in ‘small doses.'”

The researchers found that attachment avoidance—particularly toward one’s mother or father—was the strongest predictor of being childfree. People who scored higher in parental attachment avoidance were significantly more likely to opt out of parenthood. In contrast, individuals who were more anxiously attached to their parents were slightly less likely to be childfree. This pattern did not hold for attachments to romantic partners, which were not significantly related to childfree status. Interestingly, greater attachment insecurity toward close friends was also linked to a higher likelihood of being childfree, though to a lesser extent than parental relationships.

The study also looked at how attachment styles influenced the specific reasons people gave for being childfree. People with high attachment anxiety—characterized by fear of rejection and a strong need for reassurance—were more likely to cite mental health concerns and global instability as reasons for avoiding parenthood. In contrast, individuals high in attachment avoidance—marked by discomfort with closeness and dependence—were more likely to choose reasons related to lifestyle and personal freedom.

For example, childfree participants who were more anxiously attached to their friends or parents were significantly more likely to say they didn’t want children due to mental health reasons. Those same individuals were also more likely to report worries about the future and the state of the world as influencing their decision. By contrast, participants who were more avoidantly attached to their parents were more likely to say they wanted to keep their personal freedom and avoid a loss of identity.

“Generally, people who are more anxious in their relationships were more likely to be childfree because of worries and fears, such as being worried about the environment or their mental health,” Glass said. “People who are more avoidant in their relationships were more likely to be childfree for lifestyle related reasons, such as wanting to keep their personal freedom.”

“Our results also suggest that people’s relationships with their parents predict being childfree more so than their relationships with their romantic partners. People who were more anxiously attached to their parents were less likely to be childfree, and people who were more avoidantly attached to their parents were more likely to be childfree.”

The researchers caution that the study’s design does not allow for conclusions about cause and effect. While attachment avoidance was linked to being childfree, the relationship may be complex and bidirectional. For instance, choosing not to have children might contribute to emotional distance from parents if those parents expected grandchildren. It is also possible that other factors not measured in the study could explain both attachment style and reproductive decisions.

“We cannot say, for example, whether attachment avoidance towards parents causes people to be childfree, being childfree causes people to become more avoidantly attached to their parents, or if there is some third variable that causes both,” Glass noted.

Nevertheless, the study offers a deeper look into the psychological foundations of an increasingly common life choice. The results highlight that for many people, the decision to be childfree is not just about money, career, or personal goals—it may also reflect long-standing patterns in how they relate to others. The researchers suggest that people’s early relationships with their parents may shape how they imagine themselves as future caregivers and influence their motivations for embracing a childfree life.

Future studies could explore how these attachment-based motivations evolve over time and whether childfree individuals experience changes in their relational dynamics, mental health, or well-being as they age. Researchers could also examine the overrepresented of nonbinary individuals among childfree participants.

“Nonbinary people were about three times more common in the childfree subsample compared to the non-childfree subsample,” Glass said. “I believe exploring this finding more to better understand why nonbinary people are so much more prevalent within the childfree community would be a very interesting avenue for future research.”

The study, “Attachment Orientations Predict the Likelihood of Choosing to be Childfree and the Reasons for Not Wanting Children,” was authored by Sara Glass and R. Chris Fraley.