A new study published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking has shed light on why some people have intrusive thoughts and obsessive concerns about their romantic relationships. The researchers focused on a phenomenon called Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or ROCD, which is a form of obsessive–compulsive behavior that emerges in romantic connections. They found that certain patterns of social media use and decision making, combined with perceptions about the quality of a relationship, can be associated with these intrusive thoughts.
People with ROCD experience repeating doubts and concerns about their relationships. Sometimes the focus is on the nature of the bond itself, with thoughts about whether one truly loves their partner or whether the partner feels the same. In other instances, the focus shifts to perceived flaws in a partner, such as their physical appearance, character, or intelligence. These thoughts can undermine emotional closeness and satisfaction within the relationship.
The researchers wanted to understand why these thoughts arise. They knew from earlier studies that ROCD often appears when people have certain ways of thinking about relationships, especially when they struggle with accepting uncertainty or have deep-seated fears about making the wrong choice. They also suspected that social media platforms could play a role.
Social media exposes people to countless profiles and images, making it easy to compare their own partner and relationship to idealized versions online. At the same time, certain people have a strong tendency to seek the “best” possible choice in every area of life, a trait called a maximization style. This can intensify feelings of doubt and dissatisfaction.
To investigate, the researchers surveyed 211 adults from Italy who were in committed relationships. The participants were between 19 and 67 years old, with an average age of roughly 30. All were asked about the quality of their relationships, their use of social media, and their tendency to seek the best option when making decisions.
The survey measured ROCD symptoms using questionnaires that assessed intrusive thoughts about a person’s relationship and intrusive thoughts about a person’s partner. It also measured perceptions of emotional closeness, conflict, help, and security within the relationship, as well as the degree of addiction-like behavior related to social media use. The maximization scale assessed how much a person felt compelled to seek the best option when making decisions.
The quality of the relationship emerged as an important factor. People who felt more conflict and less emotional closeness with their partners were more likely to experience intrusive thoughts about the relationship. This applied both when focusing on the state of the relationship itself and when focusing on perceived flaws in the partner. Conflict and emotional disconnection seemed to intensify feelings of doubt.
The researchers also found that social media addiction was associated with ROCD thoughts. People who felt compelled to spend more time on platforms like Facebook or Instagram were more likely to experience intrusive thoughts about their relationship, especially when focusing on its quality. Social media can create a sense that countless alternatives are available and present idealized images of relationships, making people more prone to compare and doubt.
Another significant finding was the role of the maximization style. People who felt the need to seek the best possible choice were more likely to experience ROCD symptoms, regardless of whether their focus was on the quality of their relationship or the perceived flaws of their partner. The drive to make the best decision appeared to intensify feelings of doubt and hesitation within the relationship.
The researchers emphasized that these findings highlight risk factors for ROCD thoughts that could be addressed in therapy. Helping people accept uncertainty, manage social media habits, and reduce the tendency to seek perfection in relationships may aid in reducing intrusive thoughts and concerns about their partner and the state of the relationship. The results also point to the importance of focusing on emotional closeness and minimizing conflict within relationships.
The researchers acknowledged limitations to their work. The study relied on self-reported questionnaires and focused exclusively on people in relationships at the time of the survey, which means it is unclear how ROCD symptoms evolve for people who have been through breakups or have long histories of dating. It was also conducted exclusively with Italian participants, making it unclear how the findings apply across different cultures. The study was cross-sectional, making it hard to draw conclusions about how ROCD develops over time.
Future research could expand the participant pool to include people with clinical ROCD diagnoses, test ways that social media and decision-making styles affect relationships, and investigate the role of social comparisons more directly. The researchers also suggested exploring couples’ long-term dynamics to understand how ROCD symptoms evolve over time.
The study, “‘Can I Have More Than This?’ The Role of Romantic Relationship Quality, Maximization Style, and Social Media Addiction in Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Symptoms,” was authored by Paolo Mancin, Anna Malerba, Guy Doron, Marta Ghisi, and Silvia Cerea.