Public expressions of gratitude are generally viewed as positive social glue that strengthens relationships and signals warmth. However, new research suggests that offering effusive thanks may come with a hidden cost to one’s perceived social standing.
A series of studies indicates that when individuals express intense gratitude, observers often view them as having lower status and power relative to the person they are thanking. This research was published in Social Psychological and Personality Science.
Social scientists have historically emphasized the benefits of gratitude. It creates social bonds and signals that a person is friendly and responsive. Many organizations even institutionalize this practice through “gratitude walls” or dedicated communication channels to foster a positive culture. The authors of the current study wanted to investigate a potential downside regarding how competence and influence are perceived.
They noted that while gratitude signals warmth, it might also signal a lack of agency. Agency refers to traits like competence, assertiveness, and control. In social hierarchies, individuals with higher rank typically possess more agency and control over resources.
Because high-ranking individuals are often the ones dispensing favors and resources, they are frequently on the receiving end of gratitude. The researchers hypothesized that observers might intuitively associate intense displays of gratitude with a lower position in the social hierarchy.
“The overwhelming majority of research on gratitude highlights its positive effects. But—inspired in part by work showing that hierarchical relationships can become further entrenched when higher power groups help lower power groups—we had an intuition that sometimes when you express thanks, you might be subordinating yourself to another person,” said study author Kristin Laurin, a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia.
To test this hypothesis, the researchers conducted two initial studies involving approximately 800 participants recruited from Amazon Mechanical Turk. The team designed vignettes describing a workplace scenario.
In these scenarios, one colleague performed a favor for another, such as facilitating a meeting with a manager. The researchers included photographs to vary the gender and race of the characters to ensure the results were not driven by demographics.
Participants first rated the status of both characters based solely on the knowledge that a favor occurred. Following this, they viewed the thanker’s response. The researchers manipulated this response to be either mild or intense. A mild response was a simple phrase like “Great, thanks.” An intense response included phrases like “I’m incredibly grateful” and “I really owe you.”
The researchers found that the intensity of the gratitude significantly shaped perceptions of status. When the thanker was highly effusive, observers upgraded their perception of the helper’s status. The person receiving the thanks was seen as having more respect and influence than the person giving the thanks. This effect occurred even though the favor itself was identical in all conditions.
The researchers sought to replicate these findings across a broader range of contexts in two subsequent studies. These studies recruited roughly 740 participants from Prolific. The scenarios extended beyond the workplace to include academic settings, social media interactions, and casual encounters like a café visit. For instance, one scenario involved a student getting help with study notes.
A potential issue in the first studies was that mild gratitude might look like rudeness, which is a violation of social norms. To address this, the researchers asked participants to categorize various expressions of thanks as “appropriate,” “not enough,” or “too much.” Participants then viewed a gratitude expression that fell within the “appropriate” range but was either on the high or low end of intensity.
Participants rated both the status and power of the characters. Status was defined as respect and admiration. Power was defined as control over resources. The results reinforced the earlier findings. When thankers expressed mild gratitude, observers tended to view the helper as having less relative rank. When thankers expressed intense gratitude, the helper maintained a higher perceived rank.
The researchers also attempted to understand why this shift in perception occurs. They measured whether observers thought the thanker valued the help more or wanted to build a stronger relationship.
While intense gratitude did signal a desire for affiliation, these factors did not explain the shift in perceived status. The link between gratitude and low rank appeared to be a direct inference made by the observers.
The final set of studies moved away from hypothetical scenarios to real-world data. The researchers collected actual work-related messages exchanged by working adults. They presented these messages to over 650 participants across three separate studies. The participants viewed screenshots of emails and instant messages containing expressions of thanks.
Trained coders analyzed the messages for different types of intensity. They looked for “relative intensity,” which meant the message was primarily dedicated to expressing thanks rather than discussing other business. They also coded for “verbal amplification,” such as using extra adjectives, and “nonverbal amplification,” such as using exclamation points or emojis.
The participants rated the sender’s status, power, warmth, and competence. The findings revealed a nuanced pattern. When a message was primarily focused on gratitude, the sender was perceived as having lower status and power compared to the recipient. These senders were also viewed as less competent and assertive.
The use of nonverbal cues like emojis also tended to lower perceptions of rank. However, simply adding more words to say thanks did not consistently lower perceived status.
In some cases, verbose thankers were actually seen as having higher agency. The researchers speculated that managers might often use longer, praise-filled messages to encourage employees, which complicates the interpretation of verbal length.
“When we tested our predictions in a particular real-world context—emails sent in the workplace—we were surprised that using emojis and punctuation (like exclamation marks), or using extra words to express more effusive gratitude, actually did not result in thankers appearing lower status,” Laurin told PsyPost. “Instead, what made them appear lower status was sending an email that was solely or primarily about gratitude (as opposed to expressing thanks while also delivering other content).”
“This study was correlational, so we can’t rule out confounds: Maybe the more effusive thankers tended to be in management positions, or maybe lower status employees instinctively avoid emojis because they worry about how they’ll come across. But for now the key takeaway from these real-world studies appears to be that if you want to express gratitude without losing status, it might be safest to do so when you also have something else to say.”
The results suggest that while gratitude makes a person seem nicer, it can inadvertently signal lower professional standing. People often face a trade-off between appearing warm and appearing powerful.
That publicly expressing thanks can make observers think you have lower status than the person you are thanking. Many times that may be a price people are willing to pay, especially given gratitude’s other benefits, but it is a cost to bear in mind. The researchers note that this does not mean people should stop saying thank you.
“The effects are not huge, so the takeaway message is definitely not that you should never express gratitude if you care about your status!” Laurin clarified. “It may simply be worth asking yourself if you have a compulsion to overdo the gratitude, for example expressing it multiple times for the same favor. If so, it may be worth being aware that this may lead others to make assumptions about your status and power.”
As with all research, there are some caveats. The samples were entirely American. Cultural norms regarding hierarchy and gratitude vary significantly around the world. In some cultures, effusive gratitude might not carry the same connotations of submission.
The researchers are interested in how these dynamics play out in intergroup contexts. It remains to be seen how gratitude affects power dynamics between members of minority and majority groups.
“One of our inspirations for this project came from thinking about intergroup dynamics and pre-existing status relations: We wondered if gratitude hits differently when its expressed by a member of a minorities group to a member of a dominant group, compared to the reverse,” Laurin said. “Our initial forays into exploring this have not turned up reliable differences, but the broader question remains unresolved.”
The study, “Does Saying “Thanks a Lot” Make You Look Less Than? The Magnitude of Gratitude Shapes Perceptions of Relational Hierarchy,” was authored by Kristin Laurin, Kate W. Guan, and Ayana Younge.
