Benevolent sexism appears to buffer the impact of unequal chores on women’s sexual desire

A recent study published in The Journal of Sex Research provides evidence that how couples divide household chores is linked to women’s sexual desire, but this connection depends heavily on their personal beliefs about gender roles. The findings suggest that women who prefer equal partnerships tend to experience lower sexual desire when they take on more of the housework, while those who embrace traditional gender roles do not. These insights highlight how societal expectations about gender can shape intimate relationship dynamics.

Low sexual desire is frequently reported among women in long-term relationships with men. Historically, scientists have often treated this as an individual or relational issue. They tend to look at stress, relationship dissatisfaction, or hormonal changes as the primary causes.

Often, society treats women’s low desire as an internal problem or a medical issue without considering the environment the woman lives in. Psychological theories suggest that society normalizes strict binary gender roles, which position women as caregivers with naturally lower sexual motivation and men as providers with high sexual interest. The researchers wanted to see if living within these structural gender inequities actually shapes sexual desire.

Alexandra Liepmann, a clinical psychology PhD student in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of Colorado Boulder, helped lead the research. She conducts her work in the Renée Crown Wellness Institute’s Growth, Identity, and Sexual Trauma Lab.

“One way that broader gender inequities are expressed in romantic relationships are through unequal division of household labor, where women often do more of the household chores compared to their man partner,” Liepmann explained. “Although there has been an increase in expectations for more egalitarian gender roles in man-woman relationships, women are still performing more of the household chores.”

Free daily newsletter

Because of this persistent imbalance, the scientists set out to investigate how domestic responsibilities impact physical intimacy. “We wondered whether when women perform more of the household chores, they may experience less desire to have sex with their partner within long-term relationships, especially when they value an egalitarian partnership,” Liepmann noted.

To test these ideas, the researchers conducted two separate studies. The first study utilized a sample of 163 mixed-gender couples, meaning 326 participants in total. These couples were living together during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. The scientists used a longitudinal approach, asking participants to complete an initial baseline survey followed by three weekly surveys.

The questionnaires asked participants to report on their sexual desire and to estimate how they divided household chores with their partner. Participants also completed a widely used psychological survey to measure their levels of benevolent sexism. Benevolent sexism refers to a set of beliefs that idealize traditional, complementary gender roles, often framing women as naturally warm caretakers and men as providers.

The researchers found that women generally reported lower sexual desire and performed more of the household labor than men. Surprisingly, doing more of the overall housework was not directly linked to lower sexual desire for women as a whole group across the study period. For women, the relationship between housework and sexual desire depended on their gender role beliefs.

The second study expanded on these ideas using a separate sample of 617 individuals in mixed-gender relationships. This group included 409 parents, which allowed the researchers to look at the specific impacts of childcare. Instead of a single question about general chores, participants in the second study completed a detailed 59-item survey about specific household tasks.

These tasks included categories like cleaning, financial management, social planning, and parenting logistics. For each item, participants indicated who usually completed the task, ranging from themselves doing it entirely to their partner doing it entirely. This allowed the scientists to see if specific types of chores had different effects on sexual desire.

Similar to the first study, there was no overall drop in sexual desire for all women who simply did more total chores. But when looking at specific types of chores, nuances emerged. Women reported lower sexual desire when they took on a larger share of the cleaning, parenting, and financial management tasks.

“Even though there have been societal shifts and an increased emphasis on egalitarian division of household labor in man-woman relationships, women are still doing more of the household tasks across almost all household chore domains,” Liepmann told PsyPost. “In our studies, even though most couples were in dual-earning couples with both partners working outside the home, on average, women did more of the household tasks in all domains except for financial tasks, household administrative tasks, and house and car maintenance.”

This unequal burden carries specific psychological weight. “Women’s responsibility for the bulk of the household labor, even after working outside of the home, has been termed their ‘second shift,’ which is a key example of gender inequity,” Liepmann added.

Both studies provided evidence that benevolent sexism plays a moderating role. “How household chores are divided up is important for women’s sexual desire for their partner, especially when women want equity in their relationships,” Liepmann emphasized.

“When women endorsed less benevolent sexism (in line with wanting an equitable partnership) and were evenly splitting household chores with their man partner, they reported the highest sexual desire for their partner,” Liepmann detailed. “But, when women who want an equitable partnership were doing more household chores than their man partner, they reported the lowest sexual desire for their partner.”

The burden of physical and mental labor appeared especially heavy for parents. When the researchers isolated the group of mothers, they found that mothers who did more of the overall household labor experienced the lowest levels of sexual desire.

“Regardless of benevolent sexism attitudes, when mothers did more household labor, they reported less desire to have sex with their man partner,” Liepmann said. “Prior research shows that when couples have children, division of household labor tends to become gendered, even in couples who value an egalitarian partnership.”

Because of this shift, Liepmann advised that “our work suggests that parents should be especially mindful of how household tasks are divided and how this may be related to their sex lives.”

A potential misinterpretation is that holding traditional, sexist beliefs is universally beneficial for a woman’s romantic relationship. While benevolent sexism might buffer a woman’s sexual desire from the negative impacts of unequal housework, these beliefs are generally tied to broader societal inequities.

“Although, when women endorsed more benevolent sexism attitudes and did more of the household chores than their man partner, they did not report lower sexual desire for him, these sexual ‘benefits’ function as a way to mask the significant costs for women who endorse more benevolent sexism attitudes,” Liepmann warned.

“For instance, prior work has found that when women endorse more benevolent sexism, women experience reduced power in public domains, less career advancement, lower career competence and worse well-being,” Liepmann explained. “Although women who endorse more traditional gender roles may not experience these costs in their sexual desire for their partner when doing more household labor, they may still experience costs in their personal and professional lives.”

And as with all research, there are some limitations. Because the studies relied on self-reported survey data and were observational, scientists cannot conclude that doing more chores directly causes a drop in sexual desire. It is entirely possible that other unmeasured factors influence both how couples divide labor and how much desire they feel.

The researchers note that both studies focused exclusively on relatively satisfied mixed-gender couples from Western countries. The dynamic between chores and sexual desire might look very different in same-gender couples, who tend to divide labor more equally. The patterns might also differ in countries with starkly different gender norms.

Moving forward, the scientists plan to investigate the active communication strategies couples use regarding chores. “This work suggests that on average, division of labor is still gendered in man-woman romantic relationships, and this can be associated with lower sexual desire for women,” Liepmann said.

“However, we know very little about how couples negotiate or discuss division of labor and whether they have reflected on the role of gender in this division,” Liepmann continued. “We are currently asking couples in long-term relationships about the extent to which they see their division of labor as gendered and whether they have conversations about this.”

The study, “Division of Household Labor and Sexual Desire: The Role of Gender and Benevolent Sexism,” was authored by Alexandra Liepmann, Emily J. Cross, and Amy Muise.