Shared positive humor styles predict better online dating matches

Sharing a similar, positive sense of humor appears to boost the chances of a successful romantic connection during the early stages of online dating. A recent study published in the North American Journal of Psychology suggests that people with compatible and constructive humor styles are more likely to express interest in dating each other after an initial digital conversation. These findings indicate that dating apps might benefit from pairing users based on how they make others laugh, moving beyond just physical appearance.

The research team from National University in Manila included Stephanie Kate Tejome, Jenny Rose Sano, Alyssa Mikhaela Casabuena, Ma. Kristina Mae Gonzales, Princess Kathleen Degracia, and Rita Aringo. They aimed to understand how different ways of expressing humor impact romantic attraction in virtual spaces. Online dating platforms generally rely heavily on physical attractiveness to match users, which often ignores interpersonal personality traits that help people bond.

Humor is a well-established social tool linked to emotional health and relationship building. Past psychological research suggests that people highly value a good sense of humor in a partner. Being funny often signals desirable traits like creative problem-solving skills, social competence, and intelligence.

To explore this dynamic, the authors looked at the Similarity-Attraction Theory. This psychological concept suggests that humans naturally tend to gravitate toward individuals who share their attitudes, values, and behaviors. The researchers wanted to see if this established theory applies specifically to the way people use comedy.

Psychologists typically divide humor into four distinct dimensions based on an assessment tool called the Humor Styles Questionnaire. Two of these dimensions are considered adaptive, meaning they are positive and healthy. Affiliative humor involves using jokes to amuse others and build relationships. Self-enhancing humor uses a humorous outlook to cope with stress and maintain a positive attitude.

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The other two dimensions are considered maladaptive, meaning they can be harmful to relationships. Aggressive humor involves teasing or mocking others to make oneself look better. Self-defeating humor involves putting oneself down to gain approval from peers or potential partners.

The authors noted the changing landscape of digital romance as a primary motivation. “At the time we were conceptualizing our study, online dating had become increasingly popular among our peers, particularly through platforms such as Bumble,” the researchers said. “We also observed that anonymous online chat websites like Omegle and ChatKool had become popular spaces where younger individuals, especially college students, sought to connect with potential romantic partners.”

These digital areas serve as modern meeting grounds that rely heavily on conversation. “These platforms gradually evolved into informal online dating environments, where the exchange of funny, engaging, or intriguing messages often determined the direction of the conversation and whether users would be interested in pursuing a deeper connection,” the authors explained. “Humor has long been an integral part of Filipino culture, with jokes and playful banter commonly used to make conversations more enjoyable and engaging.”

The cultural context provided a natural environment for studying digital matchmaking. “Similarly, humor, often in the form of jokes, witty remarks, or pick-up lines, is frequently used as an opening strategy in online dating applications,” the team added. “This observation inspired us to explore how humor influences interpersonal attraction and whether different humor styles can serve as predictors of compatibility in romantic relationships.”

To test their ideas, the scientists recruited a sample of 160 heterosexual Filipino undergraduate students. The participants included exactly 80 men and 80 women, all between the ages of 18 and 25 years old. Each participant first completed the Humor Styles Questionnaire so the scientists could identify their dominant way of using comedy.

Using a quasi-experimental design, the authors sorted the students into ten different humor-style pairings. A quasi-experimental design is a type of study where participants are assigned to groups based on existing characteristics rather than completely at random. These ten groups represented various combinations of similar and contrasting humor styles.

After being paired up, each male-female duo engaged in a ten-minute conversation using Discord. Discord is a popular digital communication platform that allows users to chat via text, voice, or video. Following this virtual interaction, the participants independently rated their level of dating intention. They used a specific five-item rating scale to report how interested they were in pursuing a romantic relationship with their assigned chat partner.

The researchers analyzed the data using statistical tests to compare the different pairings. They found that pairs who shared the same adaptive humor styles reported the highest dating-intention scores. Specifically, Affiliative-Affiliative matches and Self-Enhancing-Self-Enhancing matches showed a stronger initial romantic interest than pairs with mismatched or negative humor styles.

The data provides evidence that humor-style compatibility modestly but consistently boosts early romantic interest online. On the other end of the spectrum, pairings involving negative humor performed poorly. Matches consisting of two people who both used aggressive humor scored the absolute lowest in dating intention out of all ten group combinations.

Interpreting these findings requires acknowledging certain boundaries within the study design. The sample consisted solely of young, heterosexual college students in the Philippines. This specific demographic means the findings might not naturally apply to older adults, people from other cultural backgrounds, or individuals with different sexual orientations.

The ten-minute digital conversation only captured a brief snapshot of a first impression. Scientists do not yet know if this initial humor compatibility translates into a successful, long-term romantic relationship. Future research should track couples over an extended period to see if shared humor styles forecast durable relationship quality as time goes on.

The researchers hope their work encourages a deeper understanding of digital matchmaking algorithms. “Through this study, we aim to help individuals recognize that attraction and relationship formation are influenced by various factors, particularly in the context of online dating, where humor and humor styles play a significant role,” they stated. “Our findings suggest that individuals who share similar humor styles are more likely to experience positive match outcomes and relationship compatibility.”

“This aligns with the Similarity-Attraction Theory, which proposes that people tend to be more attracted to others who possess characteristics and behaviors similar to their own,” the authors noted. “Furthermore, our results indicate that individuals who use adaptive humor styles tend to engage in more positive, enjoyable, and meaningful interactions compared to those who primarily use maladaptive humor styles.”

The way a person jokes matters just as much as the jokes themselves. “Therefore, this study highlights that humor in online dating can have either positive or negative effects depending on how it is expressed,” the researchers concluded. “More importantly, shared adaptive humor styles may serve as a valuable factor in fostering attraction and establishing romantic connections in online environments.”

The study, “Humor Me: Humor Style Compatibility as a Predictor of Successful Matches in Online Dating,” was authored by Stephanie Kate Tejome, Jenny Rose Sano, Alyssa Mikhaela Casabuena, Ma. Kristina Mae Gonzales, Princess Kathleen Degracia, and Rita Aringo.