The emotional cost of phubbing: How digital distraction disrupts romantic connections

A recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships provides evidence that being ignored by a romantic partner in favor of a smartphone is linked to lower relationship quality. This behavior tends to accompany lower mindfulness within the relationship, which in turn is linked to poorer evaluations of the romantic bond. The findings suggest that staying emotionally present might protect couples from the negative patterns associated with digital distractions.

In the modern era, mobile phones have become deeply integrated into daily life. While smartphones keep people connected to the broader world, their presence during face-to-face interactions can interrupt immediate communication. A common manifestation of this is “phubbing,” a term created by combining the words phone and snubbing.

Phubbing occurs when a person diverts their attention away from a conversation partner to look at their mobile device. Past research tends to associate this behavior with lower relationship satisfaction and increased emotional distress. Less attention has been given to the psychological resources that might help couples navigate these everyday interruptions.

Tuğba Türk Kurtça, a researcher in the department of psychological counseling and guidance at Trakya University in Edirne, Türkiye, initiated this study to understand these dynamics. “Smartphones have become a constant presence in everyday life, including romantic relationships,” Türk Kurtça said. “While technology offers many benefits, I became interested in how phone use during face-to-face interactions might affect partners’ feelings of connection and relationship experiences.”

Within a romantic partnership, mindfulness involves an open and accepting awareness of shared experiences. Mindful partners are generally better at regulating their emotions and responding constructively to relationship stressors. “I was particularly interested in understanding whether mindfulness within romantic relationships could help explain why perceived partner phubbing is associated with relationship outcomes,” Türk Kurtça explained.

Free daily newsletter

To explore these dynamics, Türk Kurtça recruited 704 heterosexual romantic couples residing in Türkiye. This resulted in a total sample size of 1,408 individuals. The participants were aged between 18 and 35. Approximately 23 percent of the participants reported that their relationship had lasted for less than six months, while the rest had been together for longer periods.

The participants completed an online survey, which took about 15 minutes. Both partners in each relationship were required to complete the measures to allow for a dyadic analysis. A dyadic analysis is a statistical approach that examines how the traits and behaviors of one partner relate to the other partner.

“One aspect of the study that I believe is particularly valuable is its dyadic design,” Türk Kurtça said. “Rather than collecting data from only one member of a couple, I gathered data from both partners and examined how each person’s experiences were associated with both their own outcomes and their partner’s outcomes. This approach provides a more comprehensive picture of how relationship processes unfold within couples.”

Participants answered questions assessing three main variables. First, they reported on perceived partner phubbing. This measure evaluated how often they felt their partner ignored them for a phone, using statements asking if a partner checks their device if there is a lull in conversation. Higher scores indicated higher levels of perceived phone snubbing.

Next, the couples completed a measure of mindfulness in their romantic relationship. This assessed how often they operated on automatic pilot without paying attention to their partner. The items were scored so that higher numbers reflected greater relationship mindfulness.

Finally, the participants rated their perceived romantic relationship quality. This section focused on broad dimensions like trust, intimacy, and overall satisfaction. Participants answered questions about how satisfied and intimate they felt their relationship was, with higher scores indicating a higher quality bond.

The statistical models evaluated both “actor effects” and “partner effects.” An actor effect looks at how a person’s own experiences relate to their own outcomes. A partner effect examines how a person’s experiences relate to their romantic partner’s outcomes.

The data revealed that perceived partner phubbing was negatively associated with relationship mindfulness for both men and women. Individuals who felt more ignored by their partner’s phone use reported being less mindful and present in their own relationship. This actor effect suggests that experiencing phubbing is tied to a person feeling pulled out of the shared emotional moment.

This lower level of mindfulness was then associated with a poorer evaluation of the relationship’s overall quality. Women and men who reported higher mindfulness also reported more positive evaluations of their relationships. This supports the idea that staying engaged and present goes hand-in-hand with a more secure and satisfying interpersonal bond.

“One key takeaway is that seemingly small moments of distraction can matter in close relationships,” Türk Kurtça said. “When people feel that their partner is frequently focused on a phone rather than the interaction, they may become less mindful and emotionally present within the relationship.”

Türk Kurtça noted that this lower level of mindfulness is part of an indirect pathway. “My findings suggest that this reduction in relationship mindfulness is associated with lower perceptions of relationship quality,” the author explained. “In other words, feeling seen, heard, and attended to during everyday interactions may play an important role in maintaining relationship well-being.”

In addition to these individual patterns, the author found evidence of partner effects. When one person reported feeling phubbed, their partner actually reported lower levels of mindfulness. Smartphone disruptions seem to correspond with a changing emotional climate for both individuals.

“One finding I found especially interesting was that the associations extended beyond the individual who perceived being phubbed,” Türk Kurtça noted. “The results suggested that experiences related to partner phubbing were also linked to the other partner’s level of relationship mindfulness.”

While the direct link between one person’s mindfulness and the other person’s relationship quality was not statistically significant, the broader implications remain. “Although these partner effects were generally smaller than the actor effects, they highlight the interconnected nature of romantic relationships and suggest that technology-related behaviors may have broader relational implications than we often assume,” Türk Kurtça said.

While the study provides evidence of the negative patterns associated with smartphone distractions, there are limitations to consider. The research used a cross-sectional design, meaning the data were collected at a single point in time. Because of this, the study cannot definitively prove that phubbing causes a drop in mindfulness or relationship quality.

“Because the study was cross-sectional, it cannot establish causality,” Türk Kurtça warned. “The findings show associations among perceived partner phubbing, mindfulness, and relationship quality, but they do not prove that one variable directly causes another.”

The sample was also restricted to young, unmarried heterosexual couples, many of whom were university students. “The sample consisted of unmarried heterosexual young adults living in Türkiye, so the findings should not be generalized to all populations or relationship contexts without further research,” the author added.

Future research could benefit from exploring these dynamics in more diverse populations to see if the patterns hold true across different demographics. Scientists might also explore how the specific context of the interaction relates to the negative aspects of digital distractions.

Türk Kurtça plans to continue investigating these romantic dynamics. “I would like to examine these processes using longitudinal and daily diary methods to better understand how technology-related behaviors influence relationship dynamics over time,” the researcher said.

Finding ways to shield couples from modern interruptions is a primary goal. “I am also interested in exploring other factors that may help protect relationships from the potential negative effects of digital distractions, such as communication patterns, emotional regulation, and relationship skills,” Türk Kurtça concluded.

The study, “Phubbing, Perceived Romantic Relationship Quality, and Mindfulness in Romantic Relationships: A Dyadic Analysis of Unmarried Couples,” was authored by Tuğba Türk Kurtça.