Unraveling the happiness paradox: The mental exhaustion of chasing joy

A new study published in the journal Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being shows that the more we try to boost our happiness, the more we drain our mental energy needed for self-control. In other words, the very act of chasing after happiness can leave us vulnerable to poor decisions, like overspending or overindulging, because it uses up the mental resources that help us resist temptation.

The desire for happiness is almost universal. People across cultures and backgrounds value feeling good and strive for positive emotions. This widespread pursuit of happiness has even fueled a massive self-help industry, filled with books and programs promising to unlock the secrets to a happier life.

However, some researchers started noticing a troubling pattern. Instead of leading to greater well-being, these relentless efforts to be happier sometimes seemed to backfire. People who strongly focused on increasing their happiness often reported feeling less happy in the moment and less satisfied overall. This paradox raised important questions. If happiness is so desirable, why does trying harder to achieve it sometimes make things worse?

Previous research hinted that pursuing happiness might make people feel like they were running out of time, adding stress and reducing happiness. The current research team wanted to investigate another possible consequence: whether the very act of trying to be happier could drain our mental energy, making us less equipped to handle life’s challenges and temptations.

To investigate this idea, the researchers conducted a series of four studies, each designed to examine different aspects of the relationship between seeking happiness and self-control. In the first study, they surveyed 532 adults recruited online. These participants answered questionnaires designed to measure their tendency to actively seek happiness and their general level of self-control.

To measure happiness seeking, the researchers used a scale called the Valuing Happiness Scale. This scale includes statements like “To have a meaningful life, I need to feel happy most of the time,” and asks people to rate how much they agree with each statement. Higher scores on this scale indicated a stronger tendency to pursue happiness.

To measure self-control, participants completed the Brief Self-Control Scale. This scale asks about people’s ability to resist temptations and control their impulses, with items such as “I am good at resisting temptation.” Higher scores on this scale indicated greater self-reported self-control. The researchers also measured participants’ general mood using a questionnaire that assessed both positive and negative emotions, to ensure that mood wasn’t influencing the results.

The second study aimed to see if the link between happiness seeking and self-control held up when looking at actual behavior, rather than just self-reports. For this study, 369 participants were recruited online and from a university. Similar to the first study, they completed the Valuing Happiness Scale. This time, instead of a self-control questionnaire, participants were given a decision-making task. They were presented with twelve different scenarios involving purchasing items, like clothing or travel, at various price points. They were asked to rank these items in order of preference, as if they were deciding what to spend money on.

The researchers measured how long participants spent on this decision-making task. The thinking was that making choices requires mental effort and self-regulation. If seeking happiness drains mental resources, then people who are more inclined to seek happiness might have fewer resources left for the decision-making task, and thus spend less time and effort on it. This study also included a subtle measure of mood, where participants rated how much they liked different shapes. Previous research suggests that liking simple shapes can reflect a person’s underlying mood state.

The third study moved beyond surveys and decision-making tasks to examine a more direct behavioral measure of self-control in a real-world setting. Researchers approached 36 people passing by a university library. Participants were randomly assigned to one of two groups. One group was shown an advertisement that included the word “happiness,” designed to subtly prompt them to think about happiness. The other group saw a neutral advertisement without any happiness-related words. As a cover story, participants were asked to evaluate the advertisements.

Afterward, they were told they were participating in a chocolate taste test. They were given a bowl of chocolate candies and asked to taste and rate the chocolates, and were told they could eat as many as they wanted. The number of chocolates consumed was used as a measure of self-control. Resisting the temptation to overeat chocolate requires self-control, and if seeking happiness depletes self-control, then those primed with happiness might eat more chocolate. Participants also reported their current mood.

Finally, the fourth study aimed to compare the pursuit of happiness to pursuing another goal, to see if the effect was specific to happiness or just any kind of mental effort. In this study, 188 participants recruited online were randomly assigned to one of two conditions: a happiness-seeking group or an accuracy-seeking group. All participants were presented with 25 pairs of everyday products, like iced latte versus green tea, and were asked to choose one from each pair. The happiness-seeking group was instructed to choose the option that would improve their happiness. The accuracy-seeking group was told to choose the option that represented the most accurate judgment based on their preferences.

After this choice task, participants were given anagram puzzles to solve. Anagrams are words with scrambled letters that need to be rearranged to form a new word. The researchers measured how long participants persisted in trying to solve these anagrams. Persistence on a challenging task like anagrams is another measure of self-control and mental resources. Those with fewer resources would be expected to give up sooner. After the anagram task, participants answered questions to check if the happiness manipulation worked, and to measure their tiredness, mood, and engagement with the tasks.

What did these studies reveal? Across all four investigations, a consistent pattern emerged. In the first two studies, the researchers found that people who scored higher on the happiness-seeking scale reported lower self-control and spent less time on the decision-making task. This suggests that a general tendency to pursue happiness is associated with reduced self-regulatory resources.

Importantly, these relationships held even after considering participants’ mood, indicating that it wasn’t just a matter of happier or sadder people having different levels of self-control. In the third study, those who were subtly primed with happiness through an advertisement consumed more chocolate candies than those who saw a neutral advertisement. This provides experimental evidence that even briefly focusing on happiness can weaken self-control, leading to increased temptation.

Finally, the fourth study showed that participants instructed to make choices to improve their happiness spent less time trying to solve anagrams compared to those asked to make choices for accuracy. This suggests that the act of actively pursuing happiness during decision-making specifically depletes mental resources, more so than simply engaging in a similar cognitive task focused on accuracy.

These findings point to a potentially important limitation to our pursuit of happiness. The researchers suggest that actively trying to make ourselves happier requires mental effort, specifically the kind of effort we use to regulate our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This kind of self-regulation is like a muscle; it can become fatigued with overuse. When we are constantly trying to manage our feelings and actions to achieve happiness, we may deplete our mental resources.

As a result, we have less willpower left over to control our impulses, resist temptations, and make good decisions in other areas of our lives. This depletion can then lead to behaviors that actually undermine our happiness in the long run, such as overeating unhealthy foods, overspending, or acting impulsively in relationships.

“The pursuit of happiness is a bit like a snowball effect. You decide to try making yourself feel happier, but then that effort depletes your ability to do the kinds of things that make you happier,” explained study co-author Sam Maglio, a professor of marketing at the University of Toronto Scarborough and the Rotman School of Management.

The researchers acknowledge that their study has some limitations. For example, the effect sizes in the experimental studies were relatively small, suggesting that while the effect is real, it might be subtle. Future research could explore this phenomenon over longer periods to see how the pursuit of happiness impacts self-control and well-being over time. It would also be interesting to investigate whether cultural background influences this relationship, as different cultures may have different ideas about happiness and how to achieve it.

Despite these limitations, this research provides important insights into the happiness paradox. It suggests that the very act of striving for happiness can be mentally taxing, potentially leading to reduced self-control and choices that are ultimately detrimental to our well-being. The researchers suggest that instead of constantly chasing after happiness, perhaps a more effective approach is to shift our focus.

Rather than trying to maximize positive emotions, we might benefit from appreciating what we already have and accepting the natural ups and downs of life. As Maglio puts it, “Just chill. Don’t try to be super happy all the time. Instead of trying to get more stuff you want, look at what you already have and just accept it as something that gives you happiness.” This shift in perspective, away from relentless pursuit and towards mindful appreciation, may be a more sustainable and less draining path to genuine well-being.

The study, “Happiness depletes me: Seeking happiness impairs limited resources and self-regulation,” was authored by Aekyoung Kim and Sam J. Maglio.