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A small qualitative study of young heterosexual women in Turkey found that most endorsed the “one and only” romantic belief, the idea that each person has a single ideal partner or soulmate destined for them. The women generally viewed romantic relationships portrayed on social media as artificial and unrealistic, but the findings suggest that repeated exposure to such portrayals may still shape their romantic expectations in dysfunctional ways. The paper was published in BMC Psychology.
Romantic relationships are an important part of human life, but people’s expectations about love are shaped by cultural norms, gender roles, and media portrayals. Some people develop unrealistic romantic beliefs, such as the idea that true love lasts forever, that everyone has one perfect soulmate, or that love can overcome any obstacle. Such beliefs have been linked to lower relationship satisfaction, difficulties resolving conflicts, and a greater risk of experiencing psychological dating violence.
Movies, television series, and social media frequently portray romantic relationships in idealized ways, potentially reinforcing these unrealistic expectations. According to cultivation theory, repeated exposure to media messages can shape how people perceive reality, including what they expect from romantic relationships. Social media may be particularly influential because users frequently share carefully selected, idealized representations of their relationships.
Study author Gökçe Sancak Aydın of Yozgat Bozok University argues that culture plays a central role in romantic relationships, but that most existing research has relied on Western samples and quantitative methods. As a result, the experiences of Turkish heterosexual women university students, and the meanings they attach to romance, remain underexplored. To address this, she conducted a study aiming to answer the following question: “What is the role of traditional media and social media in shaping romantic beliefs of undergraduate heterosexual women in Türkiye?”
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Sancak Aydın conducted in-depth, face-to-face interviews with 20 heterosexual women undergraduates at a university in Yozgat, a small city in central Turkey. Their ages ranged from 21 to 35, with an average age of 22. Eight were studying guidance and psychological counseling, and 12 were enrolled in teacher education programs. Six had never had a committed romantic relationship, six were currently in a relationship, and 14 had been in at least one committed relationship.
All participants described their socioeconomic status as middle class and said they actively used both social media and traditional media. The interview questions focused on what romance meant to participants, its importance in relationships, how it shaped their expectations, four common romantic beliefs, and the influence of traditional and social media on those beliefs. Two coders analyzed the interview transcripts to identify common themes.
Romantic beliefs are people’s ideas and expectations about the nature of romantic love and how romantic relationships should develop and function. The study examined four such beliefs drawn from earlier research: “love conquers all,” “one and only,” “idealization,” and “love at first sight.” “Love conquers all” is the belief that romantic love can overcome any obstacle, while “one and only” is the belief that everyone has a single ideal partner or soulmate destined for them. “Idealization” is the belief that romantic partners and relationships should be nearly perfect, and “love at first sight” is the belief that people can fall in love immediately upon meeting someone.
The “one and only” belief received the strongest endorsement, followed by idealization. Participants were more divided on “love conquers all” and “love at first sight,” with about half rejecting each. Some participants linked the “one and only” belief to their religious faith, with one citing a verse from the Quran stating that people are created with their spouses.
Participants who had never been in a relationship tended to endorse the “one and only” belief more often, and several described high standards that led them to delay or avoid relationships, though the study was not designed to compare these groups. Those with relationship experience more often described how romantic expectations, such as wanting frequent gifts, compliments, and surprises, led to conflict and disappointment with their partners. Many participants expected romantic gestures to come from men, reflecting traditional gender roles.
Participants perceived both traditional and social media as influential sources of messages about romance and said they were constantly exposed to romantic narratives. Turkish television series and films were seen as promoting beliefs such as “love conquers all” and the idea of a destined partner, while social media was seen as having a stronger influence on idealization through curated posts of seemingly perfect couples and advice from relationship influencers. Some participants also described influencers who claimed they had found “the right person” by practicing manifestation.
Most participants did not describe themselves as directly adopting these messages, and many saw relationships on social media as artificial and unrealistic. Still, many said the portrayals affected them anyway. “Even if I know this, I am very affected by it,” one participant said, describing how seeing other couples’ romantic gestures led her to ask herself, “Is there something wrong with me?”
Participants also noted that the media sent mixed messages. News reports about violence against women and daytime programs focused on relationship conflict pushed some to reject the idea that love conquers all, and some influencers shared experiences that challenged the notion of love at first sight. Based on these accounts, the author concluded that repeated exposure to media messages helps construct romance as a relational necessity, potentially shaping romantic expectations in dysfunctional ways.
The study contributes to the scientific understanding of the ways young women in Turkey perceive romantic relationships. However, it should be noted that this was a small qualitative study involving only 20 students from one university in a small city, most of whom were studying counseling or teacher education. Studies on larger or more diverse groups, including men and LGBTQ+ individuals, may produce different results. In addition, the study relied on participants’ own perceptions of media influence and did not measure how much media they consumed, so it cannot show that media exposure caused their beliefs.
The paper, “Dysfunctional romantic beliefs of heterosexual women undergraduate students: the role of traditional media and social media,” was authored by Gökçe Sancak Aydın.
