How common is rough sex? Research highlights a stark generational divide

Recent trends in popular culture suggest that sexual behaviors involving physical force, such as choking or spanking, have moved from the fringes into the mainstream. A new study involving a nationally representative sample of adults provides evidence that these practices are widespread in the United States, particularly among younger generations. Published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, the findings indicate that while many adults engage in these acts consensually, a significant portion of the population has also experienced them without permission.

The prevalence of “rough sex” has appeared to increase over the last decade. Depictions of these behaviors have become common in television, music, and social media. This visibility may lead to the perception that such practices are a standard or expected part of sexual intimacy. While these acts can enhance pleasure and intimacy for many, public health professionals have raised questions about safety and consent.

Previous attempts to measure these behaviors have often faced methodological hurdles. Many earlier surveys relied on data that is now outdated or focused exclusively on college students, limiting the ability to apply findings to the general public. Other studies used non-probability samples, such as online opt-in panels, which may not accurately reflect the broader population. Additionally, standard public health surveys often focus on disease prevention and pregnancy, omitting specific questions about acts like choking or slapping.

Debby Herbenick, a professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, led the new research. Herbenick and her colleagues sought to fill the gaps in existing literature by collecting current data from a diverse range of ages and backgrounds. Their objective was to provide precise estimates of how many Americans engage in these behaviors and to identify demographic factors associated with them.

To achieve this, the researchers analyzed data from the 2022 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. This survey is a recurring project that gathers detailed information on the sexual lives of Americans. The team used the Ipsos KnowledgePanel to recruit participants. This panel utilizes address-based sampling methods to create a pool of respondents that is statistically representative of the United States non-institutionalized adult population.

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The final sample consisted of 9,029 adults between the ages of 18 and 94. The survey presented participants with a list of ten specific sexual behaviors. These included hair pulling, biting, face slapping, genital slapping, light spanking, hard spanking, choking, punching, name-calling, and smothering. The researchers avoided using the potentially ambiguous term “rough sex” in the questions. Instead, they asked about each specific act individually.

Participants reported their experiences in three distinct contexts. They indicated if they had performed these acts on a partner. They also indicated if a partner had done these acts to them with permission or consent. Finally, they reported if a partner had done these acts to them without permission or consent.

The results indicated that engagement in these behaviors is common. Approximately 48 percent of women and 61 percent of men reported having ever performed at least one of the listed behaviors on a partner. When it came to receiving these acts with consent, about 54 percent of women and 46 percent of men reported having at least one such experience.

Age emerged as a strong predictor of engagement. The researchers observed a substantial divide between adults under the age of 40 and those in older cohorts. Younger adults were significantly more likely to report both performing and receiving these behaviors. For instance, while choking a partner was rarely reported by men over the age of 50, it was a common experience for men in their 20s and 30s.

The types of behaviors reported varied in intensity. Biting and light spanking were among the most common activities reported by all groups. More intense behaviors, such as punching or smothering, were reported less frequently.

Gender patterns in the data generally aligned with traditional roles. Men were more likely to report being the ones to perform the acts, such as spanking or choking a partner. Conversely, women were more likely to report being on the receiving end of these behaviors. This suggests that even within practices considered “kinky” or alternative, mainstream participation often mirrors conventional active-male and passive-female scripts.

Transgender and gender nonbinary participants reported high rates of engagement across all categories. About 71 percent of these individuals reported ever performing at least one of the acts on a partner. Similarly, roughly 72 percent reported receiving at least one of the acts with consent.

One of the most concerning findings related to non-consensual experiences. The survey revealed that a substantial number of adults have been subjected to rough sex behaviors without their agreement. Approximately 20 percent of women reported that a partner had performed at least one of the ten behaviors on them without permission.

The rates of non-consensual experiences were also notable for men, with about 16 percent reporting such incidents. The risk was highest for transgender and gender nonbinary individuals. Approximately 35 percent of this group reported experiencing at least one of the behaviors without consent.

These findings align with and expand upon several lines of previous inquiry regarding rough sex. For example, a 2024 study by Döring and colleagues surveyed a national sample of German adults using an online panel. They found a lifetime prevalence of rough sex involvement at 29 percent. Similar to the current U.S. study, the German researchers identified a steep age gradient. Younger participants were much more likely to engage in these acts than older cohorts.

The German study also mirrored the gendered nature of these interactions observed in the U.S. data. Döring’s team found that men were significantly more likely to take an active role, while women were more likely to take a passive role. This consistency across Western nations suggests that the rise of rough sex is occurring within the boundaries of traditional gender expectations rather than subverting them.

Earlier research involving U.S. college students also provides context for the current findings. A 2021 study by Herbenick and colleagues found that nearly 80 percent of sexually active undergraduates had engaged in rough sex.

The most common behaviors identified in that probability sample—choking, hair pulling, and spanking—match the most prevalent behaviors in the new national adult study. The extremely high rates among college students align with the age-related trends seen in the adult data. It appears that emerging adults are the primary demographic driving these statistics.

Research from an evolutionary psychology perspective offers potential explanations for why these behaviors are occurring. Studies by Burch and Salmon have suggested that consensual rough sex is often driven by a desire for novelty rather than aggression. Their work with undergraduates indicated that people who consume pornography are more likely to seek out these novel experiences. They also found that men were more likely to initiate rough sex in response to feelings of jealousy.

Burch and Salmon’s findings framed these behaviors as largely recreational and resulting in little physical injury. The current study complicates that narrative. While many respondents reported consensual engagement, the high rates of non-consensual experiences indicate that these behaviors are not always harmless play. The prevalence of non-consensual choking and slapping suggests a darker side to the normalization of rough sex that novelty-seeking theories may not fully address.

The researchers pointed out several limitations to their study. The list of ten behaviors may not capture the full spectrum of what individuals consider to be rough sex. Additionally, the survey did not measure the “wantedness” of the acts. It is possible for an act to be consensual but not necessarily desired or enjoyed, and the study did not make this distinction.

The study also grouped bisexual and pansexual individuals together for analysis. This decision was made due to sample sizes but may obscure unique experiences within these distinct identities. Furthermore, the reliance on self-reported data means that memory recall could influence the accuracy of the lifetime prevalence estimates.

Future research aims to explore the nuances of consent in these scenarios. The researchers suggest investigating how partners communicate boundaries regarding specific acts like choking or slapping. Understanding the context in which non-consensual acts occur—whether as part of an otherwise consensual encounter or as distinct assaults—is a priority for public health.

The study, “Prevalence and Demographic Correlates of “Rough Sex” Behaviors: Findings from a U.S. Nationally Representative Survey of Adults Ages 18–94 Years,” was authored by Debby Herbenick, Tsung‑chieh Fu, Xiwei Chen, Sumayyah Ali, Ivanka Simić Stanojević, Devon J. Hensel, Paul J. Wright, Zoë D. Peterson, Jaroslaw Harezlak, and J. Dennis Fortenberry.